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Parenting

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Original poster

So this couple walk into a restaurant with an oldish toddler......

180 replies

Flum · 16/04/2008 13:32

... sit down at a table, get out a portable DVD player, plonk it in front of him and switch it on.

Is this normal behaviour? Would you do this?

Judge, Judge, Judge away.....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

naughtystep · 17/04/2008 10:18

Sorry-have PMT today

CissyCharlton · 17/04/2008 10:22

I've seen this happen before and tbh think it's totally wrong.
What surprised me though was my six year old saw it and said 'How's that boy ever going to join in the grown-up's conversation when he's sat watching a DVD?'

RubyRioja · 17/04/2008 10:27

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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CissyCharlton · 17/04/2008 10:32

I'm always impressed when I see families sit down with their kids and interact with them, even if that means that at times they struggle to keep their kids interested. In time and with practice the kids will know what's acceptable at the table and what isn't.

MadamePlatypus · 17/04/2008 10:37

We regularly do a 5 hour car journey to Wales, and I do insist on a bit of boredom on the way and we don't do DVD's. However, the children are restrained in their seats and only we can hear the whining.

I suppose everybody has to draw the line somewhere, and we are lucky in that if we want to go out for a meal that is enjoyable for adults we can pretty much always get a babysitter. However, sometimes the damage done to a small child's braincell's by watching Curious George just seems worth it. A 2/3 year old on a plane or in a restaurant does not always do bored in a quiet or safe way. Its lovely to take a child out for a nice child focused meal so that they can learn how grown-ups do things, but sometimes you just have to eat. I think if you are in an unavoidable situation, sometimes the best route is just to reduce the stress for all concerned.

naughtystep · 17/04/2008 10:38

Oh to be so perfect

edam · 17/04/2008 10:39

God, I wouldn't do this because I would feel too guilty. Bad enough sticking them in front of the TV at home (I admit to this one) MUCH worse when you are out and about. TV is different from crayons and paper - it's passive, for starters. Although I can see the temptation...

edam · 17/04/2008 10:40

Oh, on a plane I think I would take along a portable DVD player if we had one. Long journey in confined space with no possibility of stopping + small child = torture for everyone.

madness · 17/04/2008 10:45

we have done it when with family, when we visit them abroad. We also use the DVD player to show movies of the children (school xmas play etc).
We only see them maybe twice a year and don't want to spend trying to entertain my children, I want to enjoy my meal and talk with my family.

CissyCharlton · 17/04/2008 10:52

I think it's really sad when normal good behaviour is mocked as 'perfect.'

MadamePlatypus · 17/04/2008 10:52

Re: story telling, I tell ALOT of stories. Perhaps this family had been telling stories all day long. Sometimes you just neeeed some personal head-space.

Hulababy:"I can get bored at lengthy meals sometimes if the conversation isn't a topic of interest for me!"

Exactly! Sometimes I want to eat my own hand if people talk about computers for more than 5 minutes. Keeping a child entertained with child focused conversation through three courses and coffee is hard work. Perhaps this was evening 11 of a 14 night holiday. Perhaps this couple were bored of wondering why Upsy Daisy has a bed but no house. Perhaps the child wasn't interested in whether the neighbours' extension breached planning policy. Maybe they were just each having a fun evening out in their own way.

CissyCharlton · 17/04/2008 10:56

I don't see mealtimes necessarily as a time when anybody has to be entertained. If there is some conversation, OK, but why can't it just be a time for people to eat?

CissyCharlton · 17/04/2008 10:57

I'm talking about when you just go out with your kids by the way, not when you are meeting up with long-lost friends or relatives.

MadamePlatypus · 17/04/2008 11:00

I think most people find the eating bit OK. Its the additional hour you have to spend waiting for the waiter/the food to arrive, during which time you try to encourage your child to sit down and not knock over the people with the the very hot food and very hot coffee and very fragile glasses, and you try to do this without sitting on your child or restraining them with the aid of table linen or shouting at them in a very loud voice. Thats the bit that people find trying.

Dottydot · 17/04/2008 11:01

MadamePlatypus · 17/04/2008 11:04

I also think that most people would make an effort if the purpose of the meal were just to entertain their children, its all the other times that you find yourself in a restaurant together that are the problem.

CissyCharlton · 17/04/2008 11:34

I know it's difficult. I've been there many many times. My point is that if you persevere without resorting to a DVD player, eventually children will learn how to behave.

Tutter · 17/04/2008 11:38

it's my children's supreme intelligence that makes it hard for them to sit still and quietly in a restaurant

CissyCharlton · 17/04/2008 11:41

Don't put me off my stride Tutter. This is the most controversial discussion I've ever had on mn up to now, and I'm determined not to fluff it.

Tutter · 17/04/2008 11:43

no, really, i find old open university programmes are very useful in this scenario

Blandmum · 17/04/2008 11:47

They are obviously following you tutter!

I don't really see why all of a family meal out has to centre round entertaining the kids. It doesn't centre round me 100% or dh. It is a family outing and all of us should have the right to some pleasure.

We can and do chat and talk and have fun that way. they kids also enjoy a little play while dh and I talk.

Where is the crime in that?

If I had to entertain at a meal out for the whole time ds when he was at his least social phase (now gone, thank god) the dinner out would be no different to me than the 100s of other family meals that we had at home....the work I do cooking mearly being swapped for that of my role as childrens' entertainer.

and amazingly I became 'Mum' not 'slave'

CissyCharlton · 17/04/2008 11:49

Would sir and madam like a kiddipack for the children or would they prefer a showing of a 1975 OU episode of the life cycle of the lesser spotted newt?

Interesting idea Tutter. I'll suggest it the next time we are in Chiquitos .

Tutter · 17/04/2008 11:49

MB - "I don't really see why all of a family meal out has to centre round entertaining the kids. It doesn't centre round me 100% or dh. It is a family outing and all of us should have the right to some pleasure.

We can and do chat and talk and have fun that way. they kids also enjoy a little play while dh and I talk."

i agree - once the kids reach a certain age

with a 2yo and a baby it just aint like that though not in my world anyway

CissyCharlton · 17/04/2008 11:51

I've got a two year old as well Tutter. It's hell isn't it.

Tutter · 17/04/2008 11:53

it can be challenging yes

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