So this couple walk into a restaurant with an oldish toddler......

[Flum]

... sit down at a table, get out a portable DVD player, plonk it in front of him and switch it on.

Is this normal behaviour? Would you do this?

Judge, Judge, Judge away.....

Well I wouldn't do the TV thing TBH. If nothing else because of the sound issue anyway.

However, if we go for a big meal out with lots of adults 6yo DD is often the only child. In those circumstances we do let DD take her DS with her to play at the end of the meal whilst the aduts are chatting over coffee, etc.

But if just the three of us, she doesn't take it.

I find this all very odd

why do kids need electronic games/dvd's to entertain them at the table?

Just talk to them?

My kids are not angels and we have had our fair share of nightmares but have never thought of doing this - and we eat out regularly.

maybe as there are four of them they entertain themselves?
Sometimes they order and then play outside untilthe meal comes (if appropriate) but that is it.

We chat
tell stories
It is amazing what a child will listen to - dh tells a wicked 'Peter and Charlie[ story keeping 7 kids captivated.

My mate who was a fabulous inspiring woman once said to me that all around us in life are stories for kids to be inspired by

what? I do judge, what an odd thing to do.

TBh I would be far more judgy about a child making oads of noise, running round, not being kept in check, etc. But a quiet child in a restaurant - fine

Beetroot - we do all that too. DD is actually very good when eating out. We eat out at least oonce a week, if not more, manage to have ful number of corses plus drinks, etc. She loves it. But on a lengthy meal with lots of adults and no children, it can get boring. Heck, I can get bored at lengthy meals sometimes if the conversation isn't a topic of interest for me! So we chat throughout the meal and when choosing our meal, but sometimes after the meal has finished and we are chatting away with other adults and having coffee, finishing the wine, etc. So, yes I let DD play quietly on her DS or she will colour or read. I'd rather that then have to cut short the meal or not be able to go on lengthy meals out TBH. And it works for us.

Agree with you Hulababy. We do much the same thing.

and I'm amused that electronic toys are seen as bad, but colouring pencils etc are seen as good.

I can't see this thread title without wanting to say "You'd have thought at least one of them would have noticed it"!

Dd (8) was out with her mum recently - works do, she was the only child present.
After a while, dd writes mum a note and passes it to her. It reads "I am broed".
Mum says "you mean bored". "No, I am broed. It is when you are so bored you play with the letters. It's much worse than just bored".

also depends on the dvd, surely?? And maybe the couple like to watch it whe nthey have run out of things to say to each other, just like watching television at home.

Hulababy ....we do exactly the same.

...they are allowed gameboy and other toys if meal is long for them.

We are in Italy at moment and nephew is dreadful... really badly behaved and has no respect for his parents.

We give him a gameboy, he sat at the table, didn't run away, didn't have a tantrum.... BIL has now asked me to get one as it was the best behaved he has ever been at a table.

it's quite common here in Spain, where the family can sit for hours over a good meal.

it is not common in greece -kids usually go play outside

What is wrong with kids being bored?

Pann - fabulous story

they were on holiday, their kid was behaving, they were enjoying a meal. Who cares? Leave them be.

For all you knoiw their kid could usually be a nightmare eating out, and they wanted a nice quiet meal for a change. Or maybe they were treating him because they were away. Or maybe they were worried about judgemental diners who'd start getting annoyed if their child was boisterous?

Depends how they react to boredom, tbh. If they enlarge their inner life, and come up the the answer to the role of Dark Matter in the universe, great . If they whine and winge and generally wreck the evening, not good.

the alternative would be, I suppose to take them out, but I'm not convinved that this is any better than letting them play with a toy. As long as it was a quiet toy.

Mummy who provides pencils = good mummy in this thread mummy who provides toy using the juice of the devil (batteries) = Bad mummy. Why?

Yes but going out to play whilst waiting isn't generally possible in the restaurants we go to here. And I really can't see the difference anyway in children being allowed to leave the table and go and play (to entertain themseleves) or being allowed to play quietly with a DS (to entertain themselves). At least DD wouldn't be disturbing others in her Ds play at the end of a long meal.

Nothing wrong with children being bored. However a bored child generally results in "mum, I'm bored" type whinging. Who wants that after a nice meal out?

I really don't understand why it s okay for a child to be allowed to:

(a) go outside to play
(b) colour in
(b) read

but not okay all of a sudden in the form of entertainment includes technology.

just think it is indicative of the world we live in today - surely going out for a meal is a shared experience where everyone talks to each other?

Yes on the whole it is and should be Diny. But what about a lengthy meal with coffees and adult chat at the end? Then what?

I think there is a difference between plyaing on a DS and doing some colouring or drawing - or there certainly is with my children. If they play on the ds, their brains seem to be completely taken over by it - you can talk to them and they won't hear you. If they are drawing or colouring or playing noughts and crosses or hangman or something, they can still join in the conversation as well. So it stops them being bored by the wait (although I do think that it's important that children learn to deal with being bored), but still means that we are communicating with each other.

Ah, the bishops multitask at an early age

i agree seeker. i work in a restaurant and the children with the ds' etc seem in a totally different word. you ask them what they want and they tell you. then they go back to playing with the ds. you say would you like any peas or beans and they don't hear you. some huff and puff cos you've interrupted their game!!

LOL MB; DD is the same. Must take after her mum; certainly not her dad! She really isn't the type to get so absorbed into the game to not here us especially when food is around TBH she is more likely to get that type of engrossed with a book rather than her DS.

nappyaddict - that is just rude behaviour and def not on. As a parent I wouldn't allow that full stop. Mind you we don't let DD have her Ds out at that point in the meal anyway.

I am biased - I don't like TV for kids much, nor computer games except a bit of Cbeebies - and watching the odd family DVd together. so I suppose if I didn't mind those I wouldn't mind the DVD in the restaurant. I think!

OMG. Cannot believe that everyone finds it so shocking! Obviously you don't want to do this kind of thing all the time but I have done this!

I met a friend recently who I hadn't seen for a long time and I KNEW we wouldn't get any peace from "What's that mummy?", "Why mummy?" "What he saying mummy?", "Why, Why, Why........". I let DS(nearly 4) watch a film "as a special treat". I was able to talk to my friend but once film was finished we all had a chat for a while but then he got bored. He then started to play with cars all over the floor getting in peoples' way and nearly tripping over a couple of waiters. And yes, I did keep moving him back and telling him that people were walking around and he should not get in the way.

Basically, if you have a child that will happily sit at the table and eat his lobster or whatever GOOD FOR YOU. I DO NOT! But don't judge me because you are one of the anti-telly police.