Sad child is young for the year

[Liverpoollass2]

DS has just finished his first year in school, overall he did well, he had fun and made friends. Academically he did fine perhaps struggled a little due to needing glasses half way through the year but hes a bright little boy.
Im really just struggling that he is the youngest in his class, I feel sad about it like he's had to grow up quickly and also that ive somehow missed time with him. He's an August birthday so turning 5 yet we've already received invites for September and October birthdays for kids turning 6. Ive also realized when our other child starts the school in a few years they'll have a year less time together at the school and in the Junior school together compared to if he was born in September/or we had deferred a year which was an option.
Has anyone else felt this way and did it change? I do struggle seeing him with his class as he does seem younger and immature compared to some of the older ones.
I should add I suffer from anxiety and overthink things.my husband and other parents of kids younger in the year dont seem to feel the same way.
I keep wishing he'd been born a few months later!

Yes @PlumpCatIsBestCat but she’s expressing regret because she thinks he’s ready and can’t go. No one should ever feel regret that their 3 year old isn’t starting school - it’s crazy.

Especially because he’s so smart he’s going to be badly behaved when he does start school 🤣

In answer to the OP, it sounds like your son is doing brilliantly. There is no point feeling regrets now as you can’t change it. It’s easy to compare with the autumn born kids and see the big difference but the reality is that the kids are spread all through the year and there will be lots who are the same age and only slightly older.

I have an August born starting at 4 in September. I would suggest having a flexible mindset and look at your child.
At 20 months my daughter was behind and couldn't retain words so only ever had a working vocab of 3 words. We were 75% confident she would need a deferral. By 26 months she was on target with language and it was 50:50 as we weren't sure if she would keep on the same path as her peers or drop again. By 2y9m it was 25% chance of deferral and her development was good for her age but we were unsure if she would keep up with the older kids. By 3 it was very clear that she would be ready and had the potential to really thrive in the school environment. I honestly would have sent her to school at 3.5 if I could. We have had so many screaming battles over the last 6 months because she is too big for nursery and wants to go to school. When we had the ready for school assessment she was excelling across the board with no areas of concern. The child I have at 4 is so different to the child I had at 20 months! Those dark days of trying to get her to keep words and encouraging communication with words and not pointing seem a lifetime ago!

@Superscientist thank you so much for your insight. Fellow scientist here, so naturally I’ve read the studies on summer borns performing worse on tests especially at the early stages of school. However I completely agree with your wait and assess approach and it’s exactly what I will be doing with DS. What I haven’t looked into yet (and have been meaning to) is whether there is a difference in how summer born girls/boys perform if put into school at 4.

I do think that despite the evidence on summer born cohorts, there needs to be a level of seeing where the individual child is in attainment and maturity. I didn’t know that there was a ready for school assessment so that’s handy to know!

It's always nice to meet fellow scientists! Waves! 👋

The way I see it is being 4 isn't a reason to defer but there are reasons that means it's right for a 4yo to be deferred.

We had the ready to school assessment at 3y9m. We had a questionnaire to fill out and it assessed things like being able to use scissors and following instructions. Could she copy a L and +. Pick which is the smallest of 3 circles. Could she sit and concentrate, could she express her needs to a non parental care giver. Physical stuff too could she jump and hop and balance. She was fully toilet trained by this point.

When we viewed schools I asked every one a couple of set questions on of which was how do you support the younger ones keep up. My daughter is not only young but only 1st percentile in height and there is a 4 inch height difference between her and some of her friends at nursery! She's currently wearing a mix of 1.5-2 and 2-3 clothes so buying uniforms has been tricky. 3 of the 4 schools muttered something about all kids being different. The school we chose asked how being small impacted my daughter and said they would keep an eye on her and if she needs adjustments they will put them in place. One of the things I raised was her little legs and she can't always climb things as easily as her peers so the head teacher said if that was the case they would get her a step. The school we have chosen is an enhanced resources school and they seemed more child centric and focused on how they can optimise each child's journey through the school and saw the children as individuals rather than a group of 4-5 yos. I think when you have a summer born the school can have an impact on whether it's the right decision. 2 of the 4 schools we viewed I would have been more hesitant about sending her but I'm happy with the school we have been allocated.