12 year old child permanently sleeping in tent

[Talulabell55]

My partners ex is allowing her 12 year old son to permanently sleep in a tent in the garden, even when weather is bad and had amber weather warning. When my partner asked why, she shouted 'it's his choice!'.
My partner feels a bit helpless about the whole situation. He called social services as didn't know what else to do. (His ex is very unco-operative). He was advised that all they could do was contact the child's mother and tell her he is concerned. Does anyone know if there is any other action he can take? We are concerned as he looks pale and tired.

So many people have asked if your partner has spoken directly to his son about this or what his son's thoughts are? Is there a reason why you aren't answering that fairly crucial question?

I also don't see the issue, as long as he gets enough sleep, stays in good health, goes in the house to wash as usual, turns up to school on time appropriately clothed and clean and does all the things he needs to do such as homework, chores, contribute to the family etc then I don't see the problem. Max "the boy in the tent" slept out year round in all weathers, went to school as any child and got though a few tents as they got worn and damaged over time. As long as the garden is not in a particularly dangerous area, he is not too far from the house (in case the garden is massive) and he can come in whenever he likes, I wouldn't worry. Is the garden fenced and gated?

My partners ex is allowing her 12 year old son to permanently sleep in a tent in the garden

Is the boy your partner's son as well? You refer to him as "her 12 year old son" here.
If the child is not his son it's none of his business.

If the child is his son, why hasn't he discussed this with the boy to find out why he is sleeping in the tent.

I would be very interested to find out why the boy prefers sleeping in the cold and wet. Maybe he is really outdoorsy and genuinely likes it, or maybe he finds that easier than whatever’s going on indoors

This is all a moot point of the child isn't related to you or your dp. It sounds like he isn't because otherwise surely dp would have a actually spoken to his son about his wellbeing and would know if he's in the tent willingly or not.

Dp has been in touch with ss, there's not much else to be done.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Sophie_Hook

I think the OP is referring to a tragic case in Wales of a 7 year old girl who was abducted from a tent in her uncle's garden. It was horrifying but happened 30 years ago! I think it is still remembered just because it was so rare and unusual that anything like that could happen.

As other have said, your partner needs to chat with his son (in a non-confrontational way) about why he’s decided to sleep in the tent. If he just wants to and is comfortable going indoors in bad weather, that’s on thing; if he’s sleeping outside to avoid his Mum’s house for some reason, that’s very different.

If he doesn’t want to be in his Mum’s house, perhaps he might prefer to live with his Dad.

Does he have a bedroom and a bed he could use, if he wanted, at any time at his mum's house?

Are there are reasons, behind wanting fun and adventure, that suggests he is unhappy staying in the house overnight?

Is the garden fairly secure?

Can he get back into the house during the night if he needs to?

Under what mechanism would SS contact the mother to say the father was concerned. They're not message conveyors?

Either they felt it was a CP concern, in which case they would have taken the referral and completed an assessment and made their own communication with her about whether they thought it was harmful

Or they felt it was a support request referral, in which case it should come from the parent the child lives with and as it didnt, there isnt any involvement they would take.

They may have advised him to communicate with her himself.

I'd be very concerned as to why he wants to be in the tent and not in the house ? What's so terrible that he would rather be outside in all weather ? Why hasn't his father looked for full custody ??

My question would be does ha have a safe, comfortable and easily accessible alternative to the tent.

Can je wake at 3ak and thinking fancy a real bed tonight or is he locked in the garden?

Is there something about the house or people in kt that makes him feel safer in a tent?

How long has he been sleeping in the tent?

As a boy my father in law slept outside in a tent for about 8 months of the year. He did this for several years, I can't believe the fuss about this boy wanting to do it.

My friend has three sons. They either sleep on the floor or in a tent in the garden. Up to them what they do. They each have a bed obviously and access to the house.

In itself I can't see it being an issue. He'll come in when he's uncomfortable.

If he's choosing to do it rather than it being some kind of Cinderella situation, I really can't see a problem.

I love camping. I'd think it was an adventure to do so. It is the summer, so not cold. And tents provide protection from the rain.

How often is he sleeping at his dads?

Does he ask to sleep in the tent at his dads?

Has dad asked him why he likes sleeping in the tent/dislikes sleeping in the home?

Let me guess. The op hasn't returned to the thread because she wanted ammunition to prove to her boyfriend what a much superior person she is to his ex, and the answers haven't quite gone to plan?