Just because I'm a WOHM doesn't mean I don't want to do things with my toddler

[Twinklemegan]

So why oh why is every bloody group or activity during working hours? And why was the only lunchtime event I could find (a parent and toddler music group) cancelled due to lack of interest? Now DH has to take him to the morning session unless I take the next ten weeks of Tues am off work. Which is fine, but it rather defeats the object.

I didn't want to post in AIBU but, well, AIBU?

Don't all shout at once now.

Hmm yes ya a little bit. Only a little bit though.

I think the reason it is scheduled in working hours, is because the people who are doing it are working... in working hours. And if you are a working parent in a 9-5 job and you don't get back until 6ish, the assumption is that it's your toddler's wind down and bed time. So no outside activities...

Perhaps you could set something up? Or find out if there are other local WOHMs who would be interested in getting together to do something after work?

because before 9 am is a bit early for most people and after 5 is a bit late, tea time etc. or do you mean you want stuff on at weekends?

Twinkle - hello

I know how you feel, its really hard isnt it? I am lucky as ai have fridays off so I go to ducklings swimming class with dd, but DH goes to nursery rhyme group. I dropped off car to him at place he grabs coffee afterwards, this week at lunch time, and found him sat there with an old uni friend, her hubby and their children, who have started at the group too... i was dead jealous!!!

It would be nice to have a saturday group, for those working...YANBU

I thought a lunchtime thing was such a good idea because it's suitable for SAHMs/SAHDs but also any WOHMs/WOHDs who are lucky enough to be able to go as well. Shame no one else thinks the same.

I agree about after work things, but Saturday mornings would be good for example. Both parents could go then if they want. I just feel like there's an assumption that working parents aren't bothered about doing these things, but I'm probably being over sensitive.

No one else in my town I mean - not you people. Hi Pavlov.

Twinkle - you arent being, seriously. I often find people think I am too tired to do anything with DD as I work most of the week.

Shame you are not near me, we could set it up ourselves...maybe we should anyway...

They're scheduled during working hours because the organisers perceive their market to be stay at home mums.

They're scheduled during working hours because the organisers perceive their market to be stay at home mums.

locally we have sing&sign classes and baby/toddler swimming on saturday mornings, think they are v popular! But we are in the middle of a city.

Cos they are often aimed more at bored mums who want to hang out than the toddlers IMHO

twinkle I think you are missing the whole point of toddler activities. They don't really make any difference to toddlers, their sole purpose is to enable SAHM's to get out of the house and keep their sanity.

The organisers are dead wrong though aren't they? I mean Pavlov and I can't be the only WOHMs who feel they're really missing out. Can we?

I guess so Twinkle - I am guessing we are just not bored enough to want to socialise with other parents to children our age!

what is it you feel you're missing out on? mixing with other mums? time with your child? your child doing these activities?

But I'd also like to meet other parents, and I just don't get to do that at all!

twinkle, you aren't missing out - prufrock is right, they are to stop you going mad and make sure your todller has friends and is 'socialized' (whatever that means...)

If you at work, I guess your LO is at nursery? childminder? therefore does stuff.

you have a life (work), LO is 'socialised'...

job done!

The best stuff is the stuff you do off your own bat anyway, or with real friends.

the rest of it is holding kids on hips and trying not to scald annoying cute babies who have suddenly learnt to crawl with your mug of tea.

For me, personally its not just the time with my DD, as I make sure I get plenty of that, its partipating in activities with her and other children at the same time, and importantly with other mothers of children at a similar age to DD, or indeed other mothers in general!

I am a WOHM and I would like to take my toddler to gymtots or similar as I remember my little bros loved that. But I cannot be arsed with nursery rhyme classes, he can put up with my out of tune droning for that!

Pavlov sorry but your hubby is a saint!

Lots of dd's activities offer classes on Saturday morning.

I suppose that they don't do lunchtime classes because the majority of their customers will be SAHMs who aren't on an office schedule and so have lunch at lunch time. Also the middle of the day is often nap time.

Being a mum actually. Seeing my DS meet and engage with other toddlers, and try new things. In the wider world outside of organised activities other parents don't give you the time of day generally, so it's hard to feel like one of you sometimes.

I definitely get a sense that because I work it's assumed I have no interest in the other stuff. Which is couldn't be further from the truth.

B1977 - he loves it, he is the only male there! And as DD is a cutey, she gets a lot of attention, hence, he gets even more attention too! , of course, he does it for dd.

And I did get my old friends no and we are going to all meet together once in a while. He will just go for coffee with them every week [grr]

You can take him to a soft play area or swimming at weekends. To the park. Gym classes etc etc etc.

There are loads of things that run at the weekend which can let you see how he interacts with other children

Harpomarx - no my DH is a SAHD. But he hates organised activities and won't do them if he can help it. He's very shy as well, and of course he's automatically an outsider being a SAHD (that's pretty unheard of up here).