What age could you more or less do your own thing at home with your child around?

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What age was your child when you could more or less do your own thing with them around at home? (And I mean specifically without plugging them into a screen / electronic device!)

Christ they are some lucky parents on here. My 4 year old just wants attention constantly - “mummy look at this, mummy watch me, mummy play with me”

my 2 yo just causes wanton destruction and empties all cupboards he can reach, up ends boxes etc which I thought was pretty standard until reading these replies!

My mind is blown by those with children age 2-4 who say they can go into another room and nap. I mean my living room is child proof and I could just lock them in there for a bit and they’d survive but surely people aren’t just leaving a 3 year old unattended to go and sleep?!

For us, it was around the age of 4 when our child could entertain themselves with toys, books, and imaginative play, allowing us to get things done around the house without relying on screens. It’s amazing how independent they can become with the right activities!

You should look for some of the threads about when children come down in the morning and entertain themselves..

A lot of people saying it's fine for them to sleep while children as young as 2/3/4 get their own breakfast and entertain themselves for hours

Around 10 years old. Oldest 2 DC were always useless at amusing themselves. Youngest DC is the same - needs a lot of input, playing with, directing etc. I imagine they will be the same too.

All are NT.

I think it depends on the child.
I still can't get on with anything with my five year old

Definitely very child dependant. I do some work with kids and some of them are so much more amenable than others! They are happy to take suggestions of what to do and go along with what is asked/offered. Mine (ND to be fair) are not like that. If they're not interested they don't care - I can suggest endless things for us to do together or them to do alone but ultimately it has to come from them. If you have the other type of kids then life must be so much easier.

Don't worry, you're doing nothing wrong. That's typical for parents of children of these ages.

You can't get anything done with 2yo or 3yo DC around.

I've four children and each of them have been intense at those ages.

Every child is different, but many parents find that around age 6 or 7, their children can play independently for longer periods, allowing the parents to get things done. This can depend on the child's temperament, interests, and how much they've been encouraged to engage in independent play.

For me this depended on the child and on whether they had a sibling to play with.
DC1 was very easy in this way and from babyhood would fiddle about with her things as long as she was in the room with me and able to chat.
DC2 was very independent from about 2 and had good concentration. I would have to check for mischief .
DC3 couldn't do things alone until junior school age and even then needed a lot of support .They were very poor at slotting in with others.

These responses 🤯 I was going to say ten??

But my eldest has ADHD and really struggles to entertain himself without screens, even now at 15, though he has got much better.

Also, I do think it depends a bit what you mean by "do your own thing" - because, yes, I can sit on MN for a bit while my 2 and 5yos play, but I still need to keep an ear out for them and be available at a moment's notice. I couldn't get really into some intricate DIY project or something.

So yes, given the example day that the OP posted later, 10-12 ish if you want to be able to do ALL of the things in the list. Probably about 7 or 8 for doing one of them.

I don't know how anyone can read (and enjoy) a book with a small child around. I can't bear being interrupted, I would rather not read at all.

Ditto most other jobs listed actually, I need to be in my own little world or it's painful. I can just about cook/do housework/do admin with mine around.

I'd say DS is 90% there based on your list. He's 5, but has always been fairly mature/self sufficient for his age.

Yep, this is mine. If they are quiet and occupying themselves then they are very likely quietly trashing the place

I'd agree with this.

Nothing wrong with parent doing own thing for 6 hours if their dc is in same house

There really is.
Not interacting with a pre-schooler for 6 hours is neglect.

Varies for my DC. DS9 (ADHD) needed a lot of interaction when younger, although he would get engrossed in toys. Now he’s pretty good at home where there’s loads of Lego, books and magazines to read, but if he’s particularly dysregulated he might need some interaction.

DS6 has been able to amuse himself for years (classic second child?) but also hates to be alone and follows us around the house.

I agree with PP that I wouldn’t want to, though. If something needs doing, cleaning/dishes/washing/sorting then I’ll get on and do it, I’ll chat to DC during if they need me to. But I would just never pop an adult show on the TV or settle down with a book while we were all at home together, unless the DC were having dedicated screen time or something. I like to interact with my DC, and also we’re not at home all that much anyway! Constantly out at activities or family days out.

By 3, I could leave my lo to do things by herself ie play, draw etc whilst I cooked, sorted washing, went in a different room. For me, 3 has been the turning point, I no longer feel constantly needed, just need to get to this point with my 10 week old

People are interpreting 'doing your own thing' differently. I interpret it as doing activities of my choice, rather than child orientated. The OP later clarified that the child could be involved in the activities, so interacting. Computer admin and shower time they would need to be playing quietly and independently for, the rest they could interact. Under four, if I needed a nap then I could have easily got my children to lie down and nap too, four or over then that might be another half an hour neglected. It certainly would not be anywhere near six hours though.

2.5yr

If my partner is looking after the 14 month old, I often spend a couple of hours doing diy - cutting wood with a jigsaw, drilling, screwing etc, with 2.5yr old toddler outside with me, attempting to help getting me things and watching me. Obviously it slows me down, but she's having fun and I'm getting something done

I cut the grass with her either helping or just playing, even if 14 month isn't napping and they're sitting together in the sandpit I can cut grass. I'll do an hour of gardening if baby is napping, toddler will potter around, play with plant pots for aggggges sometimes.

Admin work - no chance, unless on my phone, as she just wants to play with laptop.
Reading - I can do 20 mins, if baby is napping
Cooking - yes, fine with baby & 2.5yr old, has been fine since less than 2yrs. Sometimes older one helps a little.
Workout - nope.

Next spring when baby is 2 and older one 3, it'll be a game changer. I'll be able to do some diy and a fair bit of gardening whenever, they'll potter or play. Even now, 2yr old can have tv on inside, bifold doors open and she'll come in and out, over an hour or so, bit of tv, bit of sandpit, bit of following/copying me etc

After reading all the responses, everyone is interpreting things very differently.

for example, I can do chores round the house, make tea etc, get a 5 min shower but my 3 year old is always by me, just doing her own thing but there is constant interaction, i constantly check in with her, she shows me what she’s doing and I’ll join in before doing something else. She can go into another room to play with something or get something, but she’s back within a couple of mins or I’ve checked in on her. I just mean that I don’t have to have eyes on her all the time and that for me is very freeing, she is also a very sensible 3 year old which makes things easier