What age could you more or less do your own thing at home with your child around?

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What age was your child when you could more or less do your own thing with them around at home? (And I mean specifically without plugging them into a screen / electronic device!)

I could do all those things from age four but wouldn't choose to do all the one hour activities on the same day. The computer admin, workout, DIY split over a weekend and the others both days, yes. It's just a bit much all together unless the child is included or helping (though they could be with all but the computer admin).

My 4 year old would probably just about cope if I was in the shower for 10 minutes but he’d be outside the door talking at me the entire time.

The rest, not a hope in hell. He can barely cope playing on his own for 5 minutes. He needs adult companionship and co regulation pretty much all waking hours. It’s exhausting.

But we are awaiting neurodiversity assessment. So I don’t know if this is common at age 4.

Mines 5 and not a chance. She's very sociable, busy and outgoing though and sitting quietly is a struggle for her at the best of times. She will do 30mins or so while I shower but the rest is a no for now.

10!!

Almost relieved to read this, my son is coming up to 5 and awaiting an autism assessment, I'm lucky to get 5/10 minutes to myself!

Reading so many replies about 2 and 3 year olds just playing or pottering about without much intervention was blowing my mind.

I did wonder if it was normal to have a nearly 4 year old who can't really be left unattended because she will be drawing on the walls, squeezing cream out of tubes, smashing things to bits... this is despite putting as much stuff as possible up high (at this age that means on top of a wardrobe cos she will just climb on a chair) and having locks on every door to contain her, but sometimes things slip through the cracks... I do sometimes risk leaving her in front of the TV but it is a risk! Has no one else got one of these? 😆

That's at least 6 hours where you are ignoring your child. Anyone who is doing that with an under 5 is not practicing good parenting, even if it's possible. My 12 year old can happily manage that without depending on screens - as he'll read, do various chores, pop to the library etc. - but he'll still slope off and end up on Fortnite if left to his own devices. I think my 9 year old would struggle...he'd happily watch a film, but I think if he was just left to potter, play lego, read a book etc. he'd keep getting bored and want to come and find me. I can definitely do a productive day's work if just the 12 year old is at home, but not if the 9 year old is also there (and it's not fair to expect it of him for more than the occasional day...he'll just gravitate to the telly / laptop / console)

Primarily, my 4 year old just cannot cope with his own company. I’m gobsmacked there are 4 year olds that would leave their parents cooking or reading in peace for an hour. But yes, the destruction that could be wreaked whilst left alone would also be on my mind.

It's not necessarily ignoring. My children would watch programmes of my choice with me, watch or get involved with DIY, help with dinner etc. The OP does not say the children can't be involved or be interacting with you when you do these things. It would only be the shower or computer admin when the children would need to be quietly and independently occupied the whole time.

@S0livagant yes the DC can be involved , like they could grab a yoga mat & do yoga next to you. Or help you cook. But they would need to co-operate with what YOU want / need to do. Whereas my DC (age 6) would still want to do what amSHE wants the whole time, and want me to do it with her!

I interpret "do your own thing" as being able to watch 'House of the Dragon' or take a book to the bath for an hour and leave them to it - not find a nice family show to watch together. Because if it's when can you cook together and watch age appropriate TV together or do DIY while also checking up on the child...then the answer is from birth. But that's different to being able to go for a nap knowing that one child is reading a book and the other one is doing homework and they both know where you are if they need you, but probably won't...

Wtf?! They are at their prime of testing how near to death they can be at this age!!

Yes, this is what I meant too.

4/5 definitely

DC1, around 7 or 8.
DC2, still won't leave me alone at nearly 13 😂

The 'nice family shows' were my choice. History programmes, engineering programmes, Coast, etc. I don't enjoy anything with rape or torture or similar.

By 3 it was easier to do stuff around the house like decorating etc and then by 4 I could work from home with them if needed

My answer is 4-5 based on having a 2.5 yr old and a 4.5 yr old.

I can't wait until the younger one is my eldest age as that stage of life is much easier

DS1 is exactly like this. I can already tell DS2 probably won’t be and will be one of those kids receptive to suggestions. I think it’s mostly personality driven. DS1 is certainly…persistent.

…unless you then spend most of your time breaking up fights between a 6 and a 4yo!

I think all my kids must be used to benign neglect because I could probably do those things from them all being around 4? I have 3dc aged 11, 8 and 6. I pretty much do my own thing all day unless we've got plans? I'll tell them I'm going for a bath and not to disturb me or that I'm doing X or y for an hour. Unless they want to help, they'll just let me get on with it. I might have to shout up and break up a fight occasionally though.

I too am shocked at some of the ages.

You may need be able to nip to the loo at age 3 but you wouldn’t leave them alone for an extended period of time.

I could do all of the things you’ve specified when my DD was about 10 but it’s likely I would have still been interrupted in some way.

It depends whether they have siblings too as I found my DD would play independently but then get bored after say 30mins and then want interaction from me.
If she had siblings she’d be less likely to need interaction with me.

I can just about get away with it now she’s 16 but I would still expect her to interrupt me a bit but she’s old enough for me to tell her that I’ll do it later/do it yourself.

I'd say 4-5 if the tv was on non stop all day to entertain them. If the tv was off I think mine would have lasted about 10 mins at that age.

Now at 9 they can entertain themselves for most of the day during the holidays if I'm working. This would be a mix of tv, switch, reading, Lego, trampoline, drawing

Toddler age as I had a big wooden play pen that they could go in when I was doing so thing around the home.

Mine are 7 & 9 and that would all be ok.