What age could you more or less do your own thing at home with your child around?

[Chessboardtable]

What age was your child when you could more or less do your own thing with them around at home? (And I mean specifically without plugging them into a screen / electronic device!)

I suppose for me then it goes:
Age 0-1 (pre mobile) - yes, absolutely could do all of this. Would shower and nap when the baby was napping, and then everything else I would just do around the baby (baby on boob, typing, reading kindle or watching telly...)
Age 2-4: Not a chance, especially when there were two of them. I needed eyes on them and they needed playing with.
Age 5-7: I could do one or two of these things over the course of the day (especially if the telly was involved) but definitely not all of them and not uninterrupted. If I tried to watch telly they'd want peppa pig, if I tried to work they'd want to play a game on the computer, if I tried to nap they'd come to cuddle me (talk loudly in my ear). The only time they were guaranteed to be fully, quietly and independently occupied was when I wanted them to go to bed.
8+: Yes, could probably do this, but would only want to be left to their own devices if there were screens on offer - otherwise they still get bored easily and want to know what you're doing and have a chat. At this age the 'they only don't want your attention if you want them to do something they don't want to do' rule still applies.
11+: Yes, totally fine and they will happily disappear into another part of the house and have their own lives.

This. I didn't want to be going off and doing my own thing when ds was young. I wanted to spend time with him.

That's children and Parenting. When you become one it's no longer all about ME, ME, ME (the adult) and YOU. Children are learning and need loce, affection and TIME. At 6 years old your child shouldn't have to slot into your entire day based at what you want to do.

I am amazed at most of these answers.

I would say around 11.
But it depends on the child and it depends if they have siblings and what that relationship is like.

Agree with pp that a SEN parent (in my case of the sort of kids who other parents would just see as badly behaved rather than in need of support) and even when accounting for mumsnet perfectly advanced children, these answers are rather telling as to how much harder it is to parent Sen kids.

“Good parenting” is a very distinct term for different families. So let’s not judge other parents here.

All depends on a child - some are incredibly attention seeking, others are very self-reliant and independent at 3/4/5 years old. Nothing wrong with parent doing own thing for 6 hours if their dc is in same house and you hear everything and provide age appropriate toys (chocking hazards excluded obv).

Things got a lot better when DS was 4 and now he's 5 he plays Lego etc pretty independently.

I think a day like you’re describing is quite unrealistic with under 10s to be honest and also a bit sad.

My two were pretty good at playing together from quite a young age (twins) but still needed a lot of interaction/company from us.

My youngest is 7 and is very good at playing but will still interrupt a lot, come find me etc etc . How older siblings can play on their own but they are all v v v physical kids so need a huge amount of taking out to exercise to get anything done. I do thinks kids occupying themselves for hours are often on screens a lot too. We went on holidays with friends and the kids were in the cabin a lot , parents had kind lie ins etc and they just said they were very self contained etc but in reality they were on screens a lot tbh …each to their own tbh but I rarely come across kids who play alone for hours on end . Also if you have multiple dcs they can also fight when left which is our current situation…😬

*long lie ins

Mine are 3.5 and 7 and I could do all of those but that’s because the older one leads the activity. I would say 5 for just the 1 child, my 3YO on his own will give me 20-30 minutes at the moment and then come find me. 2YOs still need watching like a hawk as they’ll go from playing nicely to drawing on the wall in a blink of an eye so definitely not that young!

I think also if you have 1 dc it’s probably a bit more intense in that they need more interaction and playing with whereas with multiple children they can play together and keep each other occupied.

I do think at 11+ kids are “doing their own thing” means they are probably on screens tbh . My dcs are all really into football and will play for hours outside which is a godsend tbh . Buuuuut inside at 11+ they do gravitate towards screens tbh

Good point! My nieces/nephews all fall into the 12-16 age range and take away the devices and just hanging around at home with no offer of a lift to friends or sports facilities and I honestly think my 3YO would do a better job of entertaining himself!

I think different people are interpreting this question differently

My eldest is 7 and I absolutely could tell him to read a book for a while so that I could do something but I would need to get the timing right - if he had done an activity like swimming in the morning, it would go fine, if I asked him to do that first thing in the morning when he is full of energy, nope.

I don't particularly want to do my own thing for hours and hours at the weekend though, I might do so for a hour or two but otherwise I am ok with things revolving around the kids

Mine is 3 and I can get showered and dressed, I can exercise and he tries to copy (usually leave the exercise until he’s in bed), I can read a book whilst he plays, we cook the evening meal together as we have a kitchen step and he loves cooking, I can spend an hours gardening with him and have done a bit of DIY. I don’t nap, but I wouldn’t leave him unattended whilst I nap. He’s very sensible so I can do quite a lot, I’ve done an hour or so’s work when I’ve had to and he’s been fine playing.

@InTheRainOnATrain yup…. All this “I’m good at benign neglect , my kids all do their own thing they are on screens .
I know I sound cynical but I see it time and time again . One of my friends can’t meet until 12 most mornings as they have long lazy mornings “pottering about they are on screens . I couldn’t care less what other people do but when people act as though their 9+ kids are all spending hours playing Lego etc …

12 plus. They are more or less independent, can lock and unlock doors to go out and about whilst you are getting on with something. Any younger they still need your input to a degree when it comes to food prep, accidents likely to happen etc.

True. I have multiple children. They often interact with each other, can play Uno etc. Makes life easier.

I totally agree

See also the many posters who can WFH while their children do improving activities totally independently from age 3

Between 2&3 it gets easier

Well, I have a 5.5 year old and there is no way I could do any of these except shower and get dressed without interruption. And that's only because he tends to be really focused on building something out of Lego or similar first thing in the morning.

I can't imagine being able to do all the above without interruption until 10ish? Hopefully sooner, but based on friends with older children the 8 and 9 year olds still want to know what you're doing and need some focused attention.

It depends what you mean by do your own thing.

The difference to me is being able to do all these things but whilst thinking, where are the kids, what’s that noise, do I have to feed them soon or having to make it a child friendly activity (ie not watch the actual tv show I want or cut my workout down, or supervise them cutting potatoes when it’s quicker to do it yourself so it’s not actual ‘help’)

OR doing all these things whilst just getting a very occasional ‘mum…?’. The first I can do from age 5, but it wouldn't always be that enjoyable for either of us. The second I imagine around the same time you stop requiring child care during school holidays when you’re working, or are happy to leave them home when you go to the supermarket. Not sure, but not 6 and 3.

@Chessboardtable

Yes must of your list by 3, dd is autistic so whatever she does she is heavily into. Lego, colouring, writing, reading (yes at 3), also "helped" me.

Didn't do diy, didn't work admin, exercise??? No but cooking I included my DDs in, always showered and dressed without issues and they were in the sling/following me around when I worked (building manager where we lived) "helping" clean etc. needs must

Mine are 9 and 12 and couldn't do this without screens. But the older has ASD and the younger ADHD. 12yo amuses himself most of the time tbh but it involves a lot more screen time than most would want (& than I would allow if he was NT).