Working mums with a good work-life balance - what's your set up?

[MsCactus]

How much do you work? What flexibility do you have? How many DC and (if you don't mind me asking) how has your career fared after DC - are you fulfilled?

Interested in tips on how to strike that elusive work-life balance as a working mum

I have no answer I'm afraid, but watching with interest as I need a better work life balance.

Me and Dh both work a .75 FTE and my mum picks them up from school and does tea for them one day a week. I work from home about 50% of the time. It works really well for us and we have a morning just for us with no kids. Career wise I don't have quite enough time to work on everything I would like to, but enough to feel challenged and satisfied - senior operational manager.

1 DC nearly 4.

22.5 hours a week over 3 days.

100 percent homebased. Amaxingly flexible employer with a true flexible working policy. We can bank hours and take them back at another time. Which makes life easier for me and them. As means i can work late to cover meetings. But then take a whole day back when banked enough hours. I usually keep some banked for emergency childcare or a half day for me. I can also work longer days and shorter days as suits. So will be good for school holidays in the future.

I honestly feel like I live the dream life with regards work/life balance. DH is at home working half the week too. So we get some time together without DC and he's around on the days i'm at home with them for lunch together etc.

At the moment I wfh. I work until the job’s done. I also do flexible hours.

My issue is that the company wants to move to a ‘hybrid’ model while also making it more difficult to work from bases out of their rural head office which is 4 hours away. My boss thinks I should just do it, I want to do it, but my dc has asd & wouldn’t be able to cope without me.

I work full time, and have DD1 (5) and DD2 (2).

I wfh most days, and DH wfh full time. This makes a huge difference because cutting commuting time out means mornings and evenings are less of a rush. And we also get some housework stuff done at lunchtime
DH also genuinely does 50% of the parenting, housework, and mental load stuff.
With my job we can be flexible day to day, so I can start late and finish late, start early and finish early, take time to go to sports days etc.
Career-wise I don't think it's changed. I'm doing a qualification at the moment (supported and paid for by work) which will take a couple of years.

I'm a single mum. I have one dc. I work full time, 4 days from home unless I'm running a conference, 1 day in the London office.

DS goes to a small private school. If I need to travel for work, ds stays at the boarding house as an occasional boarder. They are brilliant because I have no other support. DS gets to spend an evening with his mates and I get to keep my career. 😊

I'm in a professional role no current interest in progressing any higher and almost always leave on time though. I've had a couple of set-ups that work:

Full-time but with a good amount of annual leave plus taking four weeks of unpaid parental leave a year. Lowered standards of house-keeping so more time for fun at the weekend.

Three days a week, still good about of annual leave but don't take any extra parental leave as already have so many days with the toddler.

I can only afford the second option for a limited time and with good childcare the first option was fine.

Forgot to add I also have a short commute!

Mum of 3. We live opposite the school which makes a huge difference. DH WFH full time but does 12-8 most days so he does most of the school drop offs and house work in the morning. I WFH 3 days. Flexi working policy. I've been full time for nearly 3 years and it's only during that time that my career has soared. The biggest help for me is that my DH does so much.

(We are in the US so annual leave is a bit of a rarity)

Two DCs- 13 and 8 now. Husband works FT as do I do. We both come home early 1 day a week (aka by 3:30) and have done so for years. We have an afterschool nanny who has been with us for over a decade. I work mostly term time hours as an academic although I am a senior professor now.
We have a cleaner.
We are ruthless about prioritising our kids but he does it as much as I do. We try to switch off at weekends and spend evenings with the kids and then work afterwards.
We tidy and clean every single day. Every day we do one load of laundry. House is tidy before we go to sleep- our kids now help with that and we both chip in to keep it tidy.
We have shared calendars. We have a chat on Sunday about how the week is going to be set up and who is doing what.
We divide and conquer. He does all school related admin and all medical stuff and appointments and keeping track of who needs what- outgrown shoes/clothes/birthday parties. He does the bulk of the laundry.
I handle all cooking and shopping. And all the kids extra curricular and co-curricular support including homework. I end up spending more actual time with the kids but he does more of the kid related admin.
We don’t stress about each other’s birthdays and anniversaries and that stuff. We both need quiet alone time.
We work long hours, and date nights are non existent. But we have been together since we were 21 and we have muddled through.

4 kids aged from 5 to 12 years old. I work 26 hours a week over 4 days from home, term time only for a lovely employer. The pay is not fantastic (under £30k) but the role is flexible, rewarding and for a cause I am passionate about in the charity sector. Small charities can be quite self aware that flexibility is something they can offer when salaries are low. I am proud of my job and the niche I've carved for myself.

My parents pick up the primary aged children and have tea with them once a week most weeks. DH works from home 90% of the time earning c. £45k but we don't use paid childcare. We are very, very lucky and even have our own office space as we split the attic room.

ETA we have a cleaner, only 8 hours a month but it helps!

Working at home is the single biggest thing. Second is finding the right place to work where your other commitments are respected and you’re trusted to get your work done however suits you and the business. Third is having an equal partnership with a DH who never puts himself first.

I have gradually moved from 3 days per week to 4 to full time and my dc are now 11 and 8. I’ve increased how invested I am in career success and how much I’m willing to give over that time period naturally according to my own motivation - nothing else would have worked for me as I hate being forced into things I don’t want to do.

I’m currently on maternity leave but go back to work next month. I have DS (19 months) and twin DD’s (2 months).

I work full time but I’m able to WFH and manage my own diary, it’s incredibly flexible and will especially come in handy when they start school.

I’m the MD. I encourage it, I live it. I’m also very qualified and dictate who I work with.

• Controlling my diary is the key. I work every day, but block out 3pm onwards, I block out holidays.
• I say no.
• I am very efficient, my diary is a work of electronic art.
• I have a brilliant team, who would NEVER agree to anything for me and respect my diary.
• I’m clear thinking and outcome orientated. Where do we need to get to, and how can we do that with the least amount of effort? Smarter, not harder.
• I only look at emails or my phone if I can deal with stuff. If I’ve opened it, I deal with it. I call it ‘one touch’ processing. I might triage some more complex things, but I tend to open, deal, move on.

We both work for ourselves so have ultimate flexibility. We own a pub in London and DP heads up there once or twice a week then has admin to do from home. I do accounts and payroll from home which is a few hours a week plus a couple of days a month. Then I also make curtains which I do around the kids, dog and pub. We worked very hard to set it up so we do t have to work so much now.

A father, but work from home two/three days a week and do school and nursery run including afternoon child care on those days. I just bend my work around it. Never asked for permission. I just do it, and because I'm productive when working, no one challenges me on it. But no one asks either. TBH, because I just do it and don't advertise or hide it, I think those people that know assume it's been agreed formally. I've done it now with two different employers after I changed my job, so just assumed it's what people do now. To make it work, I never accept commitments between 2.30 and 4.00 on the days in question, and swerve meetings after that if I can. Just do that stuff at 10am or 2pm.

I think everyone’s balance will strike differently?

we have three DC, 6, 4 & 2. We have two sets of local grandparents willing and happy to help us with childcare. I work 37.5hrs over 4 days as a solicitor, tend to be 50:50 office/home. The home days I can get a lot of life admin in either side of the day.
My husband is a farmer so his workload is sporadic but flexible to a degree as he’s self employed. We have weeks when he can do 100% of the wraparound care, cooking etc and weeks where he can’t do anything. This set up only works because of the on hand grandparents though, otherwise I couldn’t rely on him when I’m working away and we’d need a fuck tonne of paid childcare, which I would hate, mostly for the long days for the kids.

When I upped my hours I got a cleaner for 5 hours a week and it has 100% been the best decision ever.

Work full time in a professional role, 4 DCs aged 10 to 16. Worked part time for 14 years and managed a large-ish team.. Schools very close, and after school club was good. DH has a long commute so down to me. WFH is amazing, have to only go into the office 1 day a week. Have had great employers and managers. Don't take the piss and work my hours and more if needed to. DH a better cook than me so he does most meals. We've got by!

I have a 4 year old and work 30 hours per week but drop down to 25 for the summer months.
For me the biggest thing is living close to work and having a 15 minute
commute which saves me so much time. Also have the school a 5 minute walk from home and live in a fairly compact town with everything close by so we never have to travel far.

Have a very flexible manager who lets me have holiday and last minute days off whenever needed. Job is low stress and not very demanding which leaves plenty of time and energy for home life.

DH and I both work full time, Monday-Friday. Both commutes are about 45 minutes by car. DC are 14 and 11 so walk themselves to and from school.

I initially went part-time when I returned from mat leave after having DC, returning to FT when DC2 was 2.5. Not my choice, as exH walked out, but it certainly helped my career.

I'm fairly senior and work with an international team so can be flexible about my start and finish times. I have to be in the office 3 days a week but I get to choose which days. On office days, I usually leave the office at 2.30-ish to beat the rush hour traffic, then finish the working day at home. If I have a meeting I need to stay for then either the DC fend for themselves for a couple of hours, DH comes home early or I ask my parents to babysit until one of us gets home. That's pretty rare though as most of my later meetings are with colleagues in the US so I take them at home/on the go.

I extend the same flexibility to my team, several of whom are working parents. As long as the work gets done and to a high standard then I don't really care how they structure their day. This seems to puzzle new starters but has worked well so far. I used to work for someone who rarely came into the office but denied all ad-hoc WFH days and was vicious with anyone who wasn't in on the dot. It was awful for morale and as our work allows the flexibility I prefer to treat everyone as grown-ups.

If I wasn't as senior, worked for a smaller company, they weren't so relaxed about working patterns or the DC were much younger then I wouldn't be able to do this job. Previously, I worked for a company in our town to be close enough to do the nursery/school run. Once DC2 was old enough for after-school club I was able to switch to a company further away for a 60% pay rise. I fit in a full day's work by 4pm, then run the DC around to their after-school clubs, make dinner, put DC2 to bed and collapse on the sofa by 9pm. I'm tired and overweight and don't get as much exercise as I'd like, but I could if I really wanted to. I'm pretty happy!

1 DD aged 2.5
Both me and DP work full time. DD is in nursery three days a week, one day with grandparent and the other day in the house while I wfh (sometimes hours vary this day depending on the work, sometimes it's only half day and grandparent takes them other half)
I get a lot of odd jobs done when wfh, like getting time to get washing on and dishes during breaks etc and the commute time being gone that day allows me some time for housework

Me and DP split things pretty evenly. We are by no means organised but it seems to work for just now. We both enjoy a hobby that takes a lot of our time also.

DP work doesn't allow for wfh

We'll need a new approach once DD goes to school nursery

Full time, one DD aged seven and DH also full time. Both totally flexible on work hours and manage our own calendars. We alternate school pick up and drop off. No need for any wrap around care with this arrangement thanks to flexibility in hours. I hit the ground running after maternity leave and being a mum has really motivated me at work, I want to progress and earn more to give her better than I had.

2 kids- DS(7) in school, DD(4) in nursery.

I WFH 3 days a week and DH WFH FT and only goes to the office twice a month. DH does drop offs and i do pick ups. I block my calendar at pickups.

The days one of us is in the office, the kids do after school, roughly twice a week. We share 50/50 workload at home-cooking, cleaning,bath,bed, homework etc.

I can't bother to do meal preps, we make huge portions for weekend lunches so will store them away and thats good for at least two weekday dinners. So other days, we use the Tasty app to whip up something ready in an hour so dinner is ready by 6.

I strictly log off at 5 pm sharp and any workload is picked up after 8, when kids are in bed. I enjoy this time but this is very very rare that happens.

It helps with understanding employers. Ive built up trust since i joined in 2022 so they know I do not abuse my schedule.

Also, working after kids raised my confidence for some reason and i was able to create boundaries between work and life (which i struggled before kids).

Oh and DD starting school this year is game changer for us as now we dont gave to drive in two directions to do the school/nursery run 😂

Very lucky that my husband and I make a great team and it all runs smoothly.
I start work at 9:30 so can do the school drop off. Husband starts early and finishes at 2:30 so can do the pick up. I work 4 days and use my day off for myself/housework/appointments etc. My husband is very hands on and does the cooking and dinner ready when I'm home at 6pm and we all eat together. Dropping a day at work was the game changer for me. Also very fortunate my husband does a share of housework and childcare.
Would never go back to 5 days if possible!