Working mums with a good work-life balance - what's your set up?

[MsCactus]

How much do you work? What flexibility do you have? How many DC and (if you don't mind me asking) how has your career fared after DC - are you fulfilled?

Interested in tips on how to strike that elusive work-life balance as a working mum

This is so helpful, thanks everyone.

From the replies, it feels like WFH and having an equal partner is key...

We both work full time, but I have a particularly flexible job in a very small company with an owner who has similar ages of children and therefore is sympathetic to sick days, school needs etc, and allows as much work from home as needed. I do think that i'll need to hire a cleaner this year as it is getting too much to look after 2 toddlers, clean, cook, work etc. For work it is peaks and troughs of busy periods. Sometimes I work at nights, and weekends, sometimes I get most Thursdays/Fridays free. The other thing is having a hands on partner who actually helps and does their fair share, or at the very least tries. I know i'm in a lucky situation and hopefully it keeps working.

I work 4 days, partner 5 days - mainly WFH, which makes a huge difference. One primary age child, who goes to a childminder after school to play a few days per week. No plans for more kids - balance works for us. The school is 5 mins away by foot. We could both do more demanding jobs, but we are fairly frugal with a low mortgage, so don't need more money. It also means we have time and energy for walks and creative hobbies we couldn't afford to make a living from, but make us happy. Losing a parent just past pension age who worked late at night put things in perspective

I have 2 kids, 4 and 2.5yrs.

I went back to work full time but left my job after being there for 12 years as had no flexibility. I moved jobs and am generally in the office 2-3 times a week and the rest from home. My work are pretty flexible and have good family values. If I want to start a bit later because there's something on at nursery eat then that's cool with them.

I wouldn't say I am fulfilled though, I have no personal life really - all work and family, feel too 😴 to do much else.

In a nutshell!

We're both academics, so very flexible jobs. Two kids aged 6 (primary school) and 4 (nursery).

4yo in nursery 5 days a week. 6yo in after schools three days a week. We each collect her from school once a week and then work late in the office the day the other is home. Lots of getting the laptops out after bedtime.

Cleaner.

I've been consciously coasting since they were born - doing my job and doing it well but none of the extras for promotion. Starting to think about that again now they're getting a bit older.

One toddler, work freelance 1-3 days a week (varies). Husband earns very well so I don't need to work but I enjoy it and we're saving incase we decide to have another child so it all helps.

Child is in nursery 3 days a week because he loves it and I enjoy days to myself on the weeks where I'm only working one day, or none at all.

Husband works from home. I can too if I want to but prefer being out and about. We're both high earners. I enjoy picking and choosing my work. Feel very fulfilled as I have the best of all worlds: a job I love, time to myself where I don't have to work, and plenty of time with my child.

Amazing!

@MsCactus

What's your current setup?

We have a 5 year old and both work full time. DH has just started a new job but he previously worked 4 days in the office and 1 day at home. I work 3ish days in the office and the other two from home (or I'm at events). While we both work full time, we each have agreed with our bosses to do the school pick up once a week and then make up the hours later. The other 3 days we've used a nanny for this year but will use afterschool club from September.

We're both relatively senior, which helps, plus can afford to outsource things like cleaning and ironing. DH works very hard and long hours but makes time to fit in regular exercise which is essential for his mental health.

Work-life balance is a bit of a misnomer in my case because I love my job and am passionate about the subject matter don't feel the need to have a distinction between the two.

I don't think I got the w/l balance right. The early years were difficult.
I was lucky that the dc were rarely ill, but nursery/ school knew to phone dh,as my school were funny about cover/ leaving early. Especially as I had responsibility.
We both had designated jobs to do at home. Dh did the cooking, which freed up time for me to do work.
Dh bathed kids so I could get work done.
We both had separate gym nights.
Having an early riser meant that I could often start marking at 6 at weekends, which then freed up time during the day.
Kids did activities etc as they get older.

These days, the dc are fairly self sufficient and I wonder how I ever managed to get so much done. I was constantly exhausted and aching and on the edge of cracking up. It's great when you get to the other side.

We both work part time from home. I do 9-3 two days and one longer day (which is when husband is off). I also have one day with youngest at childminder so I can do housework, study and relax. I think it's a good set up and suits us.

I gave up my career as I couldn’t make it work as a single mum. I now work doing admin at my daughter’s school, which is really convenient! I work 5 days per week 8-4:30 and 4 weeks over the school holidays. It’s paid by the hour, but is pretty much stress free.

I wfh three longer days for an amazing understanding employer, who are happy to flex hours for illness etc and have changed my working hours straight away as I wanted to be able drop DS off in Sep when he starts school every day. I can chose to use my lunch break to collect if I wish, we shall see. I've been lucky in that DH has done all nursery runs as it's next to his school and my mum is 20 mins away if needed.
DH is a teacher as was I before DS and it would have been so tricky with both is us in schools so I switched careers, which was my plan anyway as I was done in.
I never take the piss and I work really hard so it's give and take when wfh.
Echo the wfh and equal partner is key.

Shifts.

dh and I both work full time. I do shifts, he’s more flexible but generally 9-5.

i do the running around when I’m not working, dh does it if I’m on shift. Probably works out about 50:50.

i do feel I get more downtime on shifts as I regularly have days off in the week or don’t start til 3, which gives me a full morning to catch up. It does mean I probably do more of the housework and admin, as I get time when the kids are at school. Dh is only off when kids are about so it’s less easy to be dealing with them and trying to clean. It does also mean if I need a day doing nothing I can, dh doesn’t get that luxury.

I work full time from home but travel for meetings once or twice a month. Kids are 10 and 14. I co-parent with their dad and he also wfh (his own) with occasional travel so it works out fine. My mum is also nearby for school pick ups if needed. And dog care (which is trickier than the childcare now they're older). We split holidays too.

Me and DH work full time - me four days in office, 1 day WFH. DH WFH as much as he likes

We have one DC who is 20 months, who is in childcare, but I miss them loads! My WFH day is fine as my mum watches DC and I can work flexibly while still seeing them lots

Want more DC but don't think we quite have the balance right yet...

I work full time as a teacher (head of department), DH works full time from home. I finish early one day a week and pick the kids up from school, then work at home a bit that evening. DH does the same one day a week, he also does all morning school runs as I'm in early. 2 kids. Really happy with the balance, mainly because as a teacher I get the holidays mostly off. DH and I share the heavy lifting 50:50 with work, house and kids. Career plateaued a bit but only for maybe 4 years. Happy with where I am career-wise.

I’m a teacher and my husband works on the rigs, we have two primary aged children.
I am extremely strict about work getting done at lunchtime and in my PPA time. I never socialise over lunch.
My inlaws do school drop off a couple of times a week and I also use breakfast club. I arrive at work around 8.10am and again, ensure I work as efficiently as possible.
We can leave work from 3.30 and I am out the door at that point.

Occasionally I have to work at home, I do so about 7pm whilst we watch a film or a couple of episodes of a tV show together. I have normally seen it before so can keep one eye on the work and still interact with my children.

When husband is on leave I arrive at work earlier and ensure I have all my schemes etc reviewed in advance for the weeks when I have less free time.

I should say that when husband is away, school pick up is shared between in-laws, my parents and after school clubs. I normally get the children back for 3.50 (short commute) and they go to bed at 8.30ish so we have a big chunk of the day together.

School holidays are a big difference though, I spend 13 weeks off with my children.

Monday to Friday.. Single parent.
Drop 6 year old at school breakfast club for 7.30am
I start work at 8am finish at 2.30pm, pick son up from school at 3.15pm.
I use as much holiday as possible for the half terms including taking some of the summer as unpaid leave. My local leisure centre run a school holiday club that my son enjoys going to.

My balance is not so good so looking at this for inspiration. I work ft but up to 2 days wfh. I've only used 1 of these for a long time because I can't wfh with 'D'H.
One DC, age 4 and about to start school. Regular office hours but very understanding boss. I do all the cooking, life admin, laundry, tidying etc etc we have a cleaner that saves my sanity. I batch cook 6-8 weeks of evening week day meals at a time. Do laundry on wfh days and lowered my standards.

2 children primary age. I WFH, 25 hours pw over 5 days. I can do drop offs and pick ups for school. My work is flexible too, so I can attend school events and make the time up. Same with needing to cover sickness with the kids. I find it balances quite well, although I don't get a break from one to the other, I'm either looking after dc or working. No lunch break to speak of. Some days I feel it more than others.

As far as work progression, since I went part time I have progressed to a higher position and also gained additional qualifications so don't feel like it's impacted my career too much.

I am grateful that I can work PT as I think I'd really struggle to be FT for the foreseeable. I don't think I'd be able to give my all to work or to parenting, whereas currently I feel like I can comfortably manage both.

1. DH engaged in parenting and also wfh part of the time
2. 3 day week, one in the office
3. Stagnated my earning potential but job still interesting
4. Debating full time return to save for retirement but would probably change job at that point.

Mum of two, one in reception, the other is 2.
Never used nursery, we’ve managed to divide the childcare between our family.
I’m a part time sen teacher. I work Tuesday, weds, Thursday. Husband wfh 100% of the time.
i do school run on my days off and do food shop, bits of cleaning etc.
husband does washing and cleaning as his job is VERY flexible so he can potter around the house.
we have extremely hands on grandparents who look after toddler Tuesday-Thursday.
I feel really lucky, my workload is so easy in comparison to mainstream teaching (I hated it) and I get the holidays off to be with the kids.

I work 14.5 hrs over two days.
My job isn't the dream but it's 100% wfh and very flexible. They're a great employer and there's option to do other things I'd love to do within the business if I ever do full time again.
My dc are 7&3.

Single parent, I start my days earlier and have shorter breaks to fit more hours in, also work in a professional role. I work 8-5 two days per week. Other days 8-2.30. I utilise breakfast clubs 5 days per week, after school club 1 day and one other day grandparent does school pick up. Its working currently, but one day I would like to do 4 days per week.

I also have a weekly routine I tend to stick to for my weekly shop, laundry etc.