Working mums with a good work-life balance - what's your set up?

[MsCactus]

How much do you work? What flexibility do you have? How many DC and (if you don't mind me asking) how has your career fared after DC - are you fulfilled?

Interested in tips on how to strike that elusive work-life balance as a working mum

FT, as is DH. One child by choice, now about to start secondary. Academic, so flexible hours, and I live so close to campus I can be from front door to office door in eight minutes if I hustle. DS’s secondary is even nearer. think postponing having a child till we had money and seniority made a big difference.

2 DC (9 and 11)
I work 22 hours a week over 3 days
My parents do am and pm school runs one day a week, DH does the morning ones on my other work days and they go to wrap around care after school on those days too.
My job cannot be done remotely but DH wfh 4 days a week which helps with emergency leave if the DC are sick. He cooks most nights and sorts out the kid's breakfast as I leave early. I do most of the laundry/cleaning on my days off (though he does his own ironing). I mostly do packed lunches for the DC and cook for them if they're eating at home (they eat at after school club one day and my parents another).
My manager is has 2 young DC and is very understanding about occasionally flexing hours/swapping days if necessary, but I don't take the piss.
My job is client-orientated and so I rarely have to do work at home unless I'm preparing training.
I will likely increase my hours and do a short 4th day when DC2 goes to secondary in a few years, but will aim to finish by 2 so I can be home when they get in.

I work p/t three days per week - 2 full days and two half days. Means I can drop and pick up at normal times 3 days per week. 1 day pw I commute into town and dh covers drop off and collection from after school club. Means I can meet friends or go shopping if I feel like it. DH has a ‘big job’ but wfh a lot and is very engaged with kids and home when not working. We have a cleaner.

We have two primary kids and one pre-schooler and their activities and various school events are the biggest threat to my work/life balance. They don’t do loads but it’s still a juggle.

My work are very flexible. I’ve been there 10 years and they trust me to flex days and switch hours around the kids and the holidays and still get the job done. I’ve not progressed since having kids but luckily was in an interesting, fairly well paid job when I had them.

Those who went part-time or reduced/flexi hours - has it had an impact on your career?

1 daughter. We both work 10 days in 9 so one of us is off each Friday. My MIL has her one day. 3 days at full day nursery. My DH WFH almost entirely, I go to local office 2 days a week WFH rest of the time. I progressed my career intensively before baby so at a good level which I'm happy to stay at for now, it's interesting but also easy to step away from at 5pm. I'm staying full time as hoping for 2nd child so don't want to reduce mat pay. We will reconsider in future particularly once school starts, but I'm very insistent I'd only reduce my hours if my DH does the same, why should I take the hit?!

I work FT and have 2 kids - 3.5 and 6. Despite working a lot I feel as a family we have a good balance.

DH is self-employed so has flexibility and at the moment he does 4 days a week including Saturdays, so he has the kids 2 of the weekdays.

When DC2 starts preschool in Sept he is switching to do after school 3 days. Whilst I work on Fridays I block out 3-5 so that I can pick the kids up and do play dates etc, so overall DH can cover 4 weekdays between us and the kids will go to after school club 1 day.

I wfh 2 days a week and get loads of chores, admin, laundry and batch cooking done and we also have a cleaner, so the time with the kids is proper quality time.

I am senior in my career and it can involve very long hours (lawyer) but it pays very well and now we are coming out of the expensive childcare years I’m looking forward to reaping the rewards! I’m very glad I didn’t reduce my hours as my career would have suffered.

To answer your question about whether dropping hours has impacted my career:

Part-time is rare at my level in the private sector. I had to fight for reduced hours and there are no equivalent three day a week roles elsewhere unless I want to move out of the private sector which I can't as I can't afford the further reduction in salary. I am stuck in my exact job until I want more hours. Day to day there are some things that I can't do due to not having the time or not being available on certain days so other team members get a greater variety of work. On balance for a short time I am OK with all this as I like my employer.

For me, no. But that's because I work freelance in an industry that doesn't work like that. I don't work a 9-5 office job. When my children are older I can up my hours again if I want.

Hi guys,

I have a 10 month old and will need to start working again soon. I am intrigued to know are there any flexible working from home jobs available? Something I can dedicate 15-20 hours a week to start off with. I would love to prioritise my son for as long as possible.

what are everyone’s thoughts?

Work as a FT clinician in the NHS. Very lucky to be in a role with flexible start and end times. Opportunity to work from home 2/3 days a week. Downside is I travel 45 mins to an hour when I go to work as I don't drive.

DP works FT and from home 4 days a week. He does 3 days school run while I do 2. I had to move to a lower NHS band for a short period and take a pay cut to gain the flexibility. But I'll be moving back to my previous Band once I gain my masters degree by end of this year.

I'm happy with work life balance atm. Sometimes earning more and going up the ladder is not the best way forward (been there, done that as I'm very career-driven). But spending time with family is more important for me these days.

I do majority of the housework as I'm very OC in cleaning. I clean one section of the house everyday so that it doesn't overspill in the weekend and helps us do more fun stuff as a family. I do meal prep as well and cook only once a month. It provides us healthy meals every time and cuts down costs. I have three freezers though to store everything 😂

Our set up is workable and manageable, but I'm not sure if it gives us a good work-life balance...

What makes it workable for us is that one of us is always working from home so can do drop offs and pick ups. Also we live 5 min walk from school so can be back at our desks before 9am. DS(10) is now old enough to walk himself home so it gives him a bit more time to relax, get homework done and less of a rush to get to extracurricular activities. DD(6) goes to ASC 3 days per week, one day is picked up by GPs and one day I have a flexible working arrangement so I can pick her up. A couple of evenings a week we have football/cubs/beavers and on weekends more football and swimming lessons.

So it works, but I would say it feels quite busy and it would be ideal if DH and I had a day off each and also if DD didn't have to go to ASC so many days on top of her extracurricular activities.

When DC were at nursery I used to do 4 days per week which was fab when we just had one DC but very busy with two (one at nursery and one at school).

Career wise I don't think it's had any impact for either of us in our workplaces. However, I haven't been able to go for certain external jobs which either require too much time in the office or are a long commute away, but perhaps I wouldn't have wanted them anyway even without kids.

Dropping down to 4 days is a constant consideration for me, but I'm constantly weighing that up against the loss of pension contributions. I think it would leave me with something like £90k less in my pension pot at 60.

I worked pt in the public sector before I had DD (I had my own business on the side which I dropped after going back from mat leave as doing both with DD was too much). I used to do 3 full days a week when she was at nursery but have switched to 22.5 hours across 4 days since DD started school, which works better.

I do a mix of WFH and office but my role (comms/social/marketing) is v flexible and can pretty much work as/when I want, as long as I'm around for meetings when needed. Not an issue to work with a poorly DD at home etc, and last minute holiday/leave is never a problem. I work in a small team so there's no opportunity for progression but I'm not massively passionate or ambitious about my work so it's not a problem. When DD is older I might retrain or move to a different org but this works for now.

DH works in v high pressure, long hours job but pretty much always WFH so he is around in the mornings to help with school run. He is senior enough that he can block out his calendar for sports day, nativity etc. I work one long day a week so DD goes to after school club that day and DH picks her up, then she plays/watches tv with a snack while he does emails or sits on a Teams call (DD is only 6 so we try and limit this as much as possible).

I try and put strict boundaries in between work and home. Sometimes I will have to jump on a Teams call or pick up emails after we get back from school pick up, and occasionally have to do a few more bits once DD is in bed. I try and avoid this as much as possible though - I could never do it regularly as part of my usual work schedule like I see some mums do on here. It reminds me of Covid lockdown and massively stresses me out.

Edited to add it all went to shit in the summer holidays as DD freaked out from having to go to so many different childcare providers while we still had to work (grandparents, friends, holiday club etc). I was seriously considering jacking my job in and retraining as a TA so it's not all plain sailing.....

I work full time Monday - Friday 9-5. Kids in after school club 3 days per week, EXDP picks them up 2 evenings a week. I batch cook on a Sunday and do a wash load every night when they’re in bed. I clean once they’re in bed. This means I spend no time cooking during the week so spend time with them til bedtime at 8. I spend an hour cleaning/washing/ironing in front of the iPad and then shower and head to bed for 10. DCs are 8 and 6. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m organised to keep on top of things and progressing in my career.

I work 4 days and DH works full time, both wfh. DH has to go to London office once/twice a month. DD nearly 3 and I'm 19 weeks pregnant.

I probably do more of the parenting as DD is VERY clingy with me at the moment, DH does a lot housework / cooking but always on hand for bath time, bed time, nursery runs etc. I don't find my work that fulfilling anymore, since having DD BUT for now it works, flexibility, no stress, wfh, decent salary.

Two primary aged children. WFH 30 hours per week, have fridays off. Husband WFH 1-2 days/week, works full time. We live opposite the school. My manager has no issues with me doing the 10 minute school drop and pick up. They go to after school club once a week, the other 3 of my working days they come home and go on screens for an hour - games/you tube kids.
I can easily do washing/general tidying during tea breaks and also have a few quiet hours per week where I do more specific house work like dusting or hoovering. Of course deep cleaning or whatever else I don't get done I do on my Friday off, but also have plenty of time for lunch with friends, beauty treatments, exercise etc. My husband takes responsibility for all bathroom cleaning (x3 of them), does school runs and washing/tidying when he's at home and the weekly food shop. The kids have various hobbies which we both lift them to, giving the other one more free time for our own hobbies/exercise. As a result, we rarely have to do any housework at the weekend, or after the kids are at home in the week. So yeah key things are - home working with flexibility, live near a school, have a partner who shares the load. Having the Friday off is an extra bonus.

i teach five days - but only two days are regular, contracted days. The other 3 I'm a substitute / temporary teacher. I'm booked in advance 95% of the time and only work at a few, very local school (10-15 mins drive away max). I'm home with DC by 4pm every day and have all the holidays off.

I think everyone has a different preferred balance.

I am really happy with my life and balance overall.

I think the main reasons for that are:

I am very comfortable using childcare and I don't feel guilty about my children being in wraparound three days a week and 3-4 weeks of holiday club. We also get babysitters for evenings out

DH genuinely pulls his weight and without being prompted

We both WFH part of the week

Money - we have enough to outsource the cleaning, DIY and gardening

Our jobs are high pressure in some ways but also do have flexibility - so far one of us has always been able to make every school event

We don't have family support - that would make things even better but we do fine.

I WFH 21 hours a week over three afternoons and evenings. It's meant I have been able to spend a lot of time with both DC. One of my work days is a Sunday but I don't start till 4 usually, so we still get the whole day pretty much as a family.

Three days feels like a great life/work balance but the issue is that if I want to progress at all I'll need to add a day really, and I'm torn between wanting to progress career more v the quality of life of having 4 days not working a week.

Also because of my hours and the fact I WFH and my husband WFH full time and is flexible, we don't need wraparound care for school. We could actually manage without any childcare at all but I'd go a bit mad I think so DD2(2) does two days at nursery on my work days, even though I don't start usually till between 2 and 4. And we can technically manage holidays without needing any childcare but we do take at least some of the time off and also book DD1 into some whole-day stuff like forest school, for the sake of all of us!

I work 2 days (job I am really overqualified for) and in uni doing MSc one day.

Although I am getting itchy at work so looking for other jobs, and hoping to get onto a graduate scheme for Sep 25 which would probably be full time. DD 2.3.

Jumping on this thread as a recently single mum of 1 who turns 5 in February. I suffer from anxiety and depression which has worsened since experiencing a traumatic birth and separating from my husband. Family home was over the road from school and 5 minutes to work however husband would not move out therefore I had to relocate and now can travel up to 2hrs per day to get to school/work. I work 30hrs per week as a Nurse in NHS. Not able to work from home but not interested in progressing further. Family life and self care is more important to me. Wondering whether to reduce my hours as this may have an improvement on my mental health although my job isn't necessarily the reason for my issues. Any advice greatly appreciated.

The single biggest thing seems to be working from home, closely followed by part-time. I have never of these and have zero flexibility.