How to deal with DD's behaviour

[goodhairdays]

DD is 5 in September and can be a lovely, kind, helpful little girl. She's amazing with her 1yo sibling and for the most part we don't have any issues.
Her behaviour however when she is told no to something/ is asked to do something that she doesn't want to do/ is told it's bedtime is absolutely horrible. She hits, kicks, bites, screams and shouts, throws things. If she's lashing out at me and I walk away she will follow and continue, if I hold her so she is unable to hit or kick me she will bite, spit or scream. Any kind of strategies, discipline etc doesn't actually work and I find she just laughs, I refuse to give in to her but that is literally the only thing that will cut the tantrum. We don't live in a huge house so every night her sibling is being disturbed due to DD. It's sucking the soul out of me and I'm finding I'm unable to enjoy the time we have together in anticipation of the next tantrum.
How do I effectively deal with this behaviour and shorten the tantrum.

When you say no strategies or discipline work, what have you tried? And for how long?

Have you tried consistently managing transitions with warnings/timers/visual cues etc?

Have you tried consistently phrasing instructions in the positive rather than the negative? For example, instead of 'No, you can't play football in the kitchen' use 'Take the football in the garden, please' or 'Football is a great idea! Let's take it in the garden'.

Sounds like PDA to me. Especially as normal strategies don’t work.

Parent of ND child.

PDA for sure. After my daughter’s Speach delay (stutter) evened out I have had this, ND family. She is the worst in terms of aggression.