Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Would you think it odd if you invited a couple for a Saturday evening dinner party..........

67 replies

Earlybird · 09/04/2008 19:59

.........and they asked if they could bring their children?

Children are 3 and 7, and have evidently never been left with a babysitter - unless it was a family member. If relevant: financial constraints are not a factor, and the invitation was issued with a month's notice.

How would you handle such a response/request?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WideWebWitch · 09/04/2008 20:00

Yes, I'd think it odd unless the invitation was issued in a 'why don't all of you come and I'll put a dvd on for the children and then you can take them home in their pyjamas' kind of way.

What are you going to do?

UniversallyChallenged · 09/04/2008 20:01

How many other adults will be there? I mean do they know it's a sit down adults do or do they think others will bring their dcs?

Twiglett · 09/04/2008 20:02

yes odd

I'd say sorry no adults only can't you get a babysitter?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

cc21 · 09/04/2008 20:02

i wouldn't want the children there, plus unless my DD was invited by name I wouldn't even ask if she could come. But maybe thats just me trying to escape her.....

How friendly are you with this couple. If close I would simply say you had planned on an adults only evening so you could all relax(not easy to do with a 3 year old who would surely have to be put to bed somewhere!)

alarkaspree · 09/04/2008 20:02

Are they intending for you to entertain the children, or to put them straight to bed when they arrive leaving them free to eat by 8pm? If the latter, I don't think it's that strange - well we have done it when going to visit friends and my parents did it too.

But I can understand that it might seem odd to many people.

Original poster

Earlybird · 09/04/2008 20:03

Three other couples will be there, and it was clearly proposed as an 'adults' night out, as we've joked that snatched conversations at school gate/birthday parties haven't allowed us to get to know one another properly.

OP posts:

LittleMissTickles · 09/04/2008 20:03

Would think it odd, yes. Next time make it very clear with invitation!

WideWebWitch · 09/04/2008 20:03

Yes, I'd go back and say ah, perhaps another time then? Let us know when you're free!

V strange. How did they word it exactly?

LittleMissTickles · 09/04/2008 20:05

Oh, sorry, you did make it clear with the invitation!

Hassled · 09/04/2008 20:05

I think it's downright weird. Why accept an invite to a dinner party if you know your children are going to have to come? They should have sorted a family member to babysit with a month's notice and if they couldn't, then they should have declined the invite.

Original poster

Earlybird · 09/04/2008 20:07

It's tricky because this couple have generously invited me/dd and the others to their house several times - and children have always been included.

The evening I'm hosting (or trying to), was meant to reciprocate.

OP posts:

Rhumba · 09/04/2008 20:08

I've done this but have always put them straight to bed and only when this has been pre-agreed. are they planning on doing this or not?

cc21 · 09/04/2008 20:08

Presumably theirs would be the only children coming- point this out maybe they'll get the hint that its adults only

Twiglett · 09/04/2008 20:10

could they be put to bed at yours?

if you can accomodate them I just would, if you can't apologise and ask if they can get a babysitter

they probably just assumed that it would be the same way as theirs had been

iheartdusty · 09/04/2008 20:11

well presumably they have done this before, so perhaps they assume they can just tuck up their DCs in your spare bedroom and take them home afterwards?

I have a friend who is always doing this. She once had a babysitter who didn't want a late night, so she returned home, sent the babysitter off, tucked her (4 yr old) into a blanket in a pushchair and went back with her to the party.

PuhPeng · 09/04/2008 20:12

I wouldn't think it odd at all. I'd say of course bring them and put them to bed / to watch a dvd upstairs when you get here. I wouldn't expect to feed or entertain them, but I think it's perfectly normal to take children along and settle them out of the way somewhere.

WideWebWitch · 09/04/2008 20:12

Hmm. So I suppose if you all know each other because you've got children in common and met at the school gates AND if they've always invited your child/ren maybe they've just assumed children are invited?

Do you really want to see them? Do your children all get along well?

If so, could you tell the other couples that they can bring their children too and set up a childrens film in another room while you all eat?

We recently had a family of 2 adults and 3 children for a roast at 5pm on a Saturday evening and then the children watched a film while we all drank Champagne and chatted in the kitchen. They left about 11pm, it was fab. And we did the same at their house and took our two. BUT it was explicitly arranged like that as the children all like each other and we thought we would all get on too - we didn't know them well beforehand.

But if someone invited us to dinner I really would assume that children WEREN'T invited unless invitation was deliberately otherwise.

VeraSquonkTheBeerGuru · 09/04/2008 20:13

My parents used to take us to other people's houses and put us to bed in their spare room/kids room/bathroom.

Also, they would have dinner parties and guests would bring their kids who would have to sleep with us.

Mostly we were taken home the same evening, but sometimes we stayed the night, and mum and dad came back for us the next day.

MadamePlatypus · 09/04/2008 20:14

Are they expecting their children to eat? My parents used to take us to dinner parties, but they just stuck us upstairs in the spare bedroom to go to sleep.

Original poster

Earlybird · 09/04/2008 20:15

The 'couple in question' moved here 8 months ago (so no access to babysitting family members), and the husband has commented that his wife is lonely/isolated/depressed - and could some of us Mums 'reach out' to her.

I offered to give him a list of babysitters I've used, and also sent him a link to a reputable agency who do background/police checks/interviews etc before taking people onto their books. He then explained that they're not comfortable leaving kids, and that they've never done it.

I think he wants to bring kids, have supper around 6/6.30, stick kids in front of telly while adults eat, and then leave around 9/9.30. I was after a 'grown up' evening...

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 09/04/2008 20:17

Hmm, well, could you do that (if you want to see hem and feel a bit sorry for her) and then the rest of you carry on without any children? You could still have a nice time.

Is he odd? Why have they never left them with a sitter?

WideWebWitch · 09/04/2008 20:18

You don't have to eat that early though, you can decide it's 8 or something. I don't think you should arrange the whole thing around them.

SpacePuppy · 09/04/2008 20:18

What is happening with your kids?

iheartdusty · 09/04/2008 20:19

there is a whole different issue potentially, isn't there, which is whether they want to have an earlier night than you anyway.

Our hearts sink if DH and I are invited to something which is inescapably going to end after 10.30-11pm (such as dinner at someone's house where you can't just leave and which we can foresee is going to go on and on) because a) our DCs are up at the crack of 6 every single morning, and b) we are old and knackered all the time.

cc21 · 09/04/2008 20:20

lol - i am very fortunate my mum lives nearby and dd loves sleeping over. I have never looked back...

Flip

1 2 3