A few years ago in lockdown I accidentally hurt my 2.5 year old and still feel really awful about the incident.DH and I were going through a really stressful time with DS 2.5 years old and our 8month old in lockdown with no family support. DH had just had an anxiety attack and taken time off work. We were both experiencing sleepless nights with a baby and toddler and DS use to at times be challenging.
On this day we went out for a nice walk with our children and on the return home I popped in a small corner shop with DS and brought him a pack of purple sweets. When we left he got upset and said he wanted the blue pack so DH agreed to have the purple pack so DS could get the blue ones. We went back and brought the blue ones. When we left DS had another meltdown saying he wanted something else. We told him he could only have the purple or blue. DS cried and refused to go home. After some time we slowly headed home with him still crying and stopping several times refusing to walk. This seemed to have gone on for what seemed like forever at the time. Both DH and I were tired and annoyed with him. It started to rain so DH took our 8 month old out the buggy and said he wasn’t going to deal with this and was heading home. I remember feeling really angry with him for walking off and not helping me, which was the case for most of lockdown when things got challenging.
I finally managed to get DS to sit in the buggy and raced home walking straight into a hedge alongside the road which had some brambles sticking out which hit the buggy hood and bounced back and hit DS in the face scraping him quite badly just below his eye around the upper cheek causing some a couple of blood graze marks . DS screamed crying from pain and DH who was further ahead raced back angry and shouting at me for hurting our child as it could have hit him in his eye. He asked me why I walked right into the bramble and said I must have seen it. I honestly can’t remember if I did and just didn’t care as I was fed up and wanted to get home or didn’t see it. I know I felt really really awful and worried I had hurt him.
DH then left me with our 8month old and carried DS home. At home DS and I cuddled and watched a movie while DH had a nap with the baby. Thankfully DS was ok and it never left any scaring.
It has been many years since this happened and it still really upsets me when I remember how I had hurt him and wonder if I caused the injury intentionally or not. How do you repair from this?