Is it possible for both parents to work full time with 3 children?

[mswhereami]

If they can do it with one and two, can they do it with three?

I am considering growing my family. I prefer age gaps and have a 7yo and 3yo. We both however work full time (mostly from home with flexibility but FT hours).

I feel like I can love three equally but worry about the time that maybe split between the 3. Because we don't have family round I have no support but that also seems like a driver to me to have a bigger family myself...

(I am fully aware fertility may not allow etc and we can afford a 3rd, have the space and are not big theme park goers so don't worry about seats on a ride).

Do you know any parents with 3 that work full time, are they coping?

Unplanned three kids here (singleton followed by twins) - was hard during the early years (both of us had ‘big’ multinational jobs where we were expected to put the hours in) and we just about coped with a nanny on my 4 work days. They are coming into teen years now and logistics are horribly complicated. All three are very active and do a couple of sports each - individually it looks quite manageable but once you factor in training, evening and weekend matches (all at the same time in different locations 🙄), and living rurally so they can’t get themselves anywhere on their own, suddenly you become a taxi service and spend your time ferrying them around and begging favours from other parents! We’ve both taken a step back from work, and whilst it works for us as a family and the kids are happy and fit, it wouldn’t be a life for everyone. So don’t just think about when they are young and relatively portable- it gets a whole
lot more complicated when they have their own lives as well! Plus the expense 😩. Everything is set up for families of 4 - add an extra one and you are looking at double the cost for just a night away!

Your 37 and your husband is 40. You have a child of 3 and 7. You have a girl and a boy.
Your both working full time from home. I think that your just coming out of the toddler stage with the youngest and at 37 your feeling I need to try now if I want another child.
A 3rd child may mean getting a bigger car, more expensive holidays and the cost of a 3rd child will be high. The world is set up for 2 adults and 2 kid's.
In your situation I would not have another child. As your kids get older it gets more expensive.
It easier to manage two kid's as they get older and have to be bought to activities at the same time.
I know that you said your happy being at home and centering your life with your kids at the moment but it's important to have a life beyond your kid's both for your sake and there's.

Also you have no outside help and as your kids get older it harder without this. I have a friend with 3 kids and it times it hard with 3 kids in different places at the same time. She is asking friends for a favour otherwise the child can't get to that activity. Then she is reluctant to ask people to ,uch to help her out because she knows it important to return the favour.

Also your 3 year old is going to living at home for the next 15/16 year's. In 15 years time you will be 53/54 and your husband will be 56/57. If your youngest child goes to university your still going to be supporting them till your near 60 and your husband will be in his 60's when they graduate.

I know a couple at the moment and they have another 6 year's from when their last child will finish in university. They will be 57 and 58 then. At that stage they have a few years to build up their savings before they retire. I know several couples with older children and teenagers and the cost of food, clothes and shoes/runner's is high. They told me as well that the kids always need money and they feel like a taxi service.

Another thing to consider is that you have a 3rd child what happens if this child has special needs? Suddenly you may not be able to work so the household is down to one income.
I have seen what having a special needs child does to a family and it has a major impact on everyone.

I think as well that with 2 children it easier to have a good quality of life for you and them. Also in time you might want to help them with university cost or to buy their own home if you're in a financial position to do so.
I think at times you need to realise what you have and be happy with this rather than pushing for more and then finding out it become far harder than you expected. Also a happy mother is better for her children rather than a mother who has overextended her family and finds life hard going as a result.

Your 37 and your husband is 40. You have a child of 3 and 7. You have a girl and a boy.
Your both working full time from home. I think that your just coming out of the toddler stage with the youngest and at 37 your feeling I need to try now if I want another child.
A 3rd child may mean getting a bigger car, more expensive holidays and the cost of a 3rd child will be high. The world is set up for 2 adults and 2 kid's.
In your situation I would not have another child. As your kids get older it gets more expensive.
It easier to manage two kid's as they get older and have to be bought to activities at the same time.
I know that you said your happy being at home and centering your life with your kids at the moment but it's important to have a life beyond your kid's both for your sake and there's.

Also you have no outside help and as your kids get older it harder without this. I have a friend with 3 kids and it times it hard with 3 kids in different places at the same time. She is asking friends for a favour otherwise the child can't get to that activity. Then she is reluctant to ask people to ,uch to help her out because she knows it important to return the favour.

Also your 3 year old is going to living at home for the next 15/16 year's. In 15 years time you will be 53/54 and your husband will be 56/57. If your youngest child goes to university your still going to be supporting them till your near 60 and your husband will be in his 60's when they graduate.

I know a couple at the moment and they have another 6 year's from when their last child will finish in university. They will be 57 and 58 then. At that stage they have a few years to build up their savings before they retire. I know several couples with older children and teenagers and the cost of food, clothes and shoes/runner's is high. They told me as well that the kids always need money and they feel like a taxi service.

Another thing to consider is that you have a 3rd child what happens if this child has special needs? Suddenly you may not be able to work so the household is down to one income.
I have seen what having a special needs child does to a family and it has a major impact on everyone.

I think as well that with 2 children it easier to have a good quality of life for you and them. Also in time you might want to help them with university cost or to buy their own home if you're in a financial position to do so.
I think at times you need to realise what you have and be happy with this rather than pushing for more and then finding out it become far harder than you expected. Also a happy mother is better for her children rather than a mother who has overextended her family and finds life hard going as a result.

I'd say it's definitely possible but it does put a lot of pressure on the family. Life will be harder, that's for sure.

We both work full time and have 4 kids. It is possible, though absolutely made more possible by working from home.

OP we have three, 6,4 and 1. My DH works full time and I work 4 days a week. We have no family close by, although in laws come over every few months for a week or so and that’s great. Depends on what sort of person you are. I love being busy, I love having three kids and feel v lucky. We also are in a financial position to be able to afford it although the third did feel like a big jump money wise! If you are practical and flexible, and are comfortable enough money wise it’s totally doable. Some people would struggle and yes some days it’s a lot but it’s manageable and I’m not just “coping” I love it.

Absolutely! Many families with three and working parents make it work. While it requires planning and teamwork, the extra love and chaos can be a beautiful thing. Check online parenting forums for tips and support from parents who've been there.

How old were you and DH when kids came along, were you worried about any health implications?

Could you suggest some forums?

3 under 5years old here, dd 4 and twins 3 and me and DH both work full time.

I went back full time when twins were 15months old. Will add I absolutely love my job.

No cleaner or nanny. Pay out our arse for nursery for the twins and have family help where needed.
I wfh 2 days and keep on top of housework and we have a rota for other things.

Yes it is very precise juggling act for drop offs as twins are at different nursery from DD and it can be tricky and frustrating but it can be done.

Both our jobs have a degree of flexibility, more so mine, about start times so we switch about with who's starting early and who's on dinner duty etc

Me and DH still are able to socialise and both have time for ourselves, I go to gym 4 mornings a week and he goes fishing.

It works for our family. It's always just about forward planning and being prepared in advance and making sure everyone (DH) knows what they are doing that day.

This blows my mind...three under five, a full time job AND you manage to go to the gym four times a week! I find it amazing...some people are so energetic and motivated. I think personality is absolutely key here. I had two teens and a part time job and felt like I was drowning!

I have three and your job sounds similar to mine.

If your job is flexible then the FT work thing is a red herring. When you are at work, it doesn't matter how many kids you have because they are somewhere else. With an inflexible job you would have to consider the logistics involved of 3x days off sick etc.

With three it is harder to fulfil all their wishes as they don't have one parent each. So if they can't agree what to play, have clashing activities etc, someone does have to lose out.

Same here. And easier post covid with nore wfh if thats ab option. Way easier once youngets starts secondart school. I know a lot of women with teens who are desperate to work again and can't as have been out for so long and wosh they had pushed through.

Sorry about typos was multi tasking :) you do need to be up for that ..

We did it with 3 kids but we worked opposite shifts so we weren’t paying for childcare. After I had my fourth child I reduced my hours because it was affordable to us. We now have 5 children. I work 24 hrs a week and husband works 40 hrs.

I had my three aged 36, 38 and 41. I have a friend who had all three of hers in her 40s. You're definitely not too old.

Will admit i get out my bed at 4.45 to go to the gym before anyone is awake as it's the only time I can afford to go before the madness of the day starts 🤣 and it's the one thing that keeps me grounded and sane 🤣

Sounds like he got the better deal if you worked evenings then had the kids in the day. Not sure how you did it tbh

We have 3 and both work full time. One as a teacher so being home for the holidays has been super useful, and one whose job has at times been overwhelming. We have survived relying on paid childcare, a cleaner and picking our battles.

My youngest is now 12, and it is alot easier. I'm not quite sure where the last 12 years has gone - however we have more than coped. Our children have thrived and the two eldest, who have just finished GCSEs and A levels are independent young adults who have not missed out because of our choice to work.

I would counter, that life has been alot easier when my role has had an element of working from home a few days a week. That's been a game changer, but hasn't always been the case. And it has also involved a lot of travel.

So, yes it's doable - but at least one comfortable salary helps a great deal when it comes to having 3 and soothing the challenges that come with that.

Thank you for sharing, I could afford a cleaner and would get that lined up if I did go for a third.

Thank you for sharing!

I could take a year off max for mat leave then perhaps go back 4 days but no less.