Working Parents - How do you cover childcare in the Holidays

[wonderings2]

Just as the title how do you cover the school holidays?

DD is 5 so this will be her first 6 week holiday. Myself and DH both work full time, mine is WFH all days. I have an amazing employer who is flexible - I have to be online at least some of the day and attend scheduled calls but as long as the work is done I'm not micromanaged and can log on whenever I want.

Grandparents have kindly offered to cover a few days (again I acknowledge how amazing this is) and I've booked a weeks annual leave.

That still leaves me around 15-20 days to cover, what do you do for these days, do DC go to clubs the whole time, do you let them roam free and hope for the best? What are these clubs and how do you find them?

I'm obviously in a very favorable position (Hats of to parents in the office full time - I don't know how you do it) and I still cant work out how to cover it all?

We moved our own stuff before DC. It was beyond hellish. Do not sure even think of moving yourself while working and with DC

@wonderings2 It’s been a while but we moved about 10 years ago from a 3 bedroom flat to a house and it cost £1200 for a full packing service. BUT we both worked and had a little baby at the time so we paid for full service - this meant they literally did everything. Took apart all furniture and then reassembled it at other end. As well as packing up everything including the loft contents.

I would never, ever pack and move myself again. Never.

If you look on local Facebook groups you're bound to find teenagers looking for casual work. If you're wfh it could be relatively cheap to pay a teen £8-£10 an hour to cone round and entertain the child or take her to the park etc. You don't necessarily need a childcare professional if you're in the house too. My dd has been doing this sort of work since age 14 and is always in demand over the summer.

Try and put the brakes on it now if you possibly can. It'll be so much easier to run a 2 bed home alone than spend all that money moving and end up with an even more expensive millstone around your neck and it being even harder to leave. It'll be hard but you're setting yourself up for it being even harder

If he wants to hire a van, he can sort everything. If you're not ready to move and it all falls through it might be a blessing in disguise? Have you exchanged yet?

Holiday programme, annual leave and grandparent help. I hate wfh with the kids there and only do it when they are sick and I absolutely can’t take the day off - this also entails getting a couple of hours work in in the morning and in the evening to make sure I actually make my hours for the day. The most horrible thing is your child asking you to play and you can’t because you are wfh.

Cancel the house move. Start looking at whether you could afford to stay in your current house as a single parent.

I don't understand why you haven't put your DD in clubs. I can't fathom working with DD at home with me.

I've put mine in 1 sports club and another general club Mon to Thurs. She made lots of friends, gets to try out new activities and has a fun day rather than being bored at home drawing and watching TV all day. It's just not nice for a child to do that for so many weeks.

And you have a really flexible job too so could pick up at 3pm after a good chunk of work is done, then do something nice together and finish work between 7-9pm.

Sorry about your shitty DH situation. I echo other posters and say you should leave before you complete the new house. He's a pig.

Does he realise if you split he will have to sort food, childcare, uniform etc all on his own.

We used to take 2 weeks each, 1 week together in the middle. the rest was friend swops, holiday clubs (which were all ridiculously short days anyway and still needed other people to take/collect). I still used her nursery as well which she loathed. I also banked TOIL during the year.

It was a time there was no working from home allowed, my main friend swop moved away, so eventually I had to quit and work term time as they wanted to change how you used TOIL so that was no use.

Could you also do some half days, so you go out in the morning, go swimming/something active so she is then happy just to play/craft/watch a film in the afternoon.

Cancel the house move. Cancel being general dogsbody for everyone. He’s bringing very little to the party. He’s not going to change.

My DH and I take a week off together and a total of a week off individually to cover childcare. Plus grandparents, holiday club, condensing hours.

Your DH is entirely unacceptable not covering more. There are a lot more of these holidays to come.

Erm. Pay.
Sorry but that's the long and the short of it. I did and mine are all paying for theirs now too!

The thread has moved on a lot since the OP's first post.

We do:
3 weeks holiday club
1 week leave me
1 week leave DH
1 week leave DH and me for actual holiday

This will be me in a couple of years so just planning ahead slightly and have a question on holiday clubs - do these run for a week at a time or can you pick certain days ie if I only work 3 days a week and grandparents do a day can the other 2 days in the week be covered by a holiday club?

Depends on the club. Out of school club type places (i.e. after schools in the holidays) tend to be more flexible.

If you're not certain about the future of your marriage and you've not exchanged contracts, then cancel the move.

It sounds like your DH feels you're locked in because of the move - make sure it's the right thing for your and your DD long term

If you haven’t exchanged contracts I would cancel the house sale. Your present circumstances are too precarious to commit to a future life of drudgery and empty promises

He takes and gives nothing that’s no way to navigate marriage and family life

To answer your original question OP. The first two weeks DS2 (2) has additional weeks of nursery whilst DS1 (7) had a week at ILs and then a week of play dates, DH and I juggling start and finish times etc. Then I will take one weeks leave and we are going away with my mum, DH then takes 2 weeks and I will take the final week. So we don’t have any time off at the same time.

However, it sounds like you are facing a bigger question now and just wanted to say it shouldn’t all be on you. I hope you are able to find some breathing space and consider what you want from your house move and husband. It sounds like something needs to change.

I don’t understand why you haven’t paid for camp. Ask anyone during Covid how fun (or not!) it was trying to juggle childcare and work. Getting up early to try and fit stuff in is just a major recipe for stress. There is a reason people pay for childcare. Wfh provides a bit of flexibility but trying to manage play dates and pottering about is rubbish for you and often rubbish for the child. Just pay for the camps and give yourself a break.

Look for holiday clubs now. There will be clubs that are not full. They might only be 10-4 but that is far preferable to the madness you're attempting to survive now.

You cannot WFH with a child under 11. Stop trying. It is absolutely shit for both of you.

Holiday camps and grandparents.

There aren’t camps everywhere though. It’s clear after being on threads about this for over 10 years that holiday provision varies wildly round the country.
I was only able to get DC in short term camps. A music one and a sports one. The music one was only 2.5 days, sport one was 3 days. Sport one was 9.30- 3pm half an hour in the opposite direction to work.
There are loads of football camps though.

So at the end of these holidays you're going to be tearing your hair out with exhaustion and your DH will have almost all his 25 days annual leave still intact??