Working Parents - How do you cover childcare in the Holidays

[wonderings2]

Just as the title how do you cover the school holidays?

DD is 5 so this will be her first 6 week holiday. Myself and DH both work full time, mine is WFH all days. I have an amazing employer who is flexible - I have to be online at least some of the day and attend scheduled calls but as long as the work is done I'm not micromanaged and can log on whenever I want.

Grandparents have kindly offered to cover a few days (again I acknowledge how amazing this is) and I've booked a weeks annual leave.

That still leaves me around 15-20 days to cover, what do you do for these days, do DC go to clubs the whole time, do you let them roam free and hope for the best? What are these clubs and how do you find them?

I'm obviously in a very favorable position (Hats of to parents in the office full time - I don't know how you do it) and I still cant work out how to cover it all?

My husband and I use all of our leave separately over the school holidays over the year. The rest of the time we work flexibly, I tend to work 5am- lunchtime and he works lunchtime into the evening. We have jobs we can do this though.

He needs to share the load. If he continues like this and you stay with him your daughter will grow up thinking that penis = not needing to care for kids and the cycle will continue.

Annual leave, holiday clubs, grandparents and reciprocal arrangements with friends i.e. me and another friend took every Friday off and had all the kids at one of our houses, and my friends took other days off and had them all. It was actually a lot of fun, and we also did it when they all got chicken pox together as well. Got loads of photos that pop up in holidays of my dd out having a ball with a bunch of buddies.

My 5yo dd goes to a childminder. It's the same childminder she went to before she started reception. Me and her dad each take a separate week off with her in August. This means that August doesn't cost us a fortune in childcare fees.

Yes you're very lucky to have both flexible work and family help. The other days, annual leave or childcare is what a lot have to do? Sorry, I don't mean to sound pedantic, but when you say hats off to all Mums who go in to the office, what about the rest who have to commute to work and fully engage in a non office job every day, so wraparound care during term time as well as having to plan nurseries during the holidays? I do apologise but it does sound a bit biased to just say oh you have to go into the office, not work a 12 hour shift in a and e, police, shop etc. As if that's such a terrible and only thing other Mum's do. Xx

Use the holiday club run at the school
or sometimes the childminder (if needing more flexible hours that day for work, however is double the cost) can’t imagine WFH with a small child around, sounds incredibly stressful. We calculate our yearly childcare costs including the holidays then divide by 12 so it evens out the cost. I view childcare as a much bigger priority than holidats, days out, savings etc as without it I would be totally burnt out

With great difficulty. I'll normally take 2 weeks partner takes 2, we then use school sports clubs, the rest my dd1 has to just stay at home whilst I work at home. We don't get any childcare from grand parents. We have also started doing play dates with dds friends now we all know each other more

Oh but I do only work part time so do have 2 days off

When the DC were at primary, I used to plan the summer during May HT and then email all of my mum friends with the spreadsheet of the days I needed childcare and then the great child swap would begin to be planned, whether that was us all agreeing to send the DC to the same club on a particular day so they'd have a friend there or perhaps a couple of us meeting up & absorbing some extra DC as well as our own.
It's always a complete pain to sort out

I'm a single parent and my dc are 9 and 6. I've just changed my hours so I work over 4 days so there will only be 4 days to cover from now on, instead of 5. This summer my ex is having them for 2 separate weeks, I am taking 2 weeks off, I haven't sorted the remaining 2 weeks but there will be a mix of holiday clubs, me taking some random days off and my mum helping.

My job are flexible up to a point and they have been understanding this week as my ds2 has been off school sick but when childcare is available they expect me to use it. Plus using the tv as a babysitter all day is a bit crap for everyone so I use childcare even when wfh. I think the earliest I'll be able to get away with not using it is when they are in years 7 and 4, maybe.

I hope you are managing the summer holidays OP. Your H needs to understand it’s his responsibility to equally share and plan holiday childcare for his DD
Working parents need to act as a team otherwise it will hurt your relationship in the long term

How's it going OP? I know I'm very late to this thread but we both work FT and one other thing we use is that DH is able to buy up to an additional two weeks of annual leave per year. Definitely helps!

Im struggling to be honest....and you've triggered a bit of a rant..(sorry)

I've managed to arrange to get two days a week covered by grandparents, the other three days I've arranged play dates (but obviously I have to return the favor so there are times I have two children here) and my mum is doing a few half days.

Im starting work at 6am and getting an hour or so done, muddling through the day then catching up in the evening but it feels like Im working all day and still not doing a days work. Work are amazing and have families themselves but I still need to be getting the work done.

Im torn between feeling guilty that Im not spending enough time with DD, guilty about work (probably in my head to fair, but its tough trying to juggle calls and making sure I respond reasonably quickly)

To make things more complicated we are moving and due to exchange contacts any week now, I've been trying to declutter and get things organised but the thought of packing a house up is unfathomable.

Im really, really mad at DH, he hasn't orgasnised a single thing to cover child care. I thought I knew the extent of his misogyny but he's worse than I thought. I honestly cant fathom how he thinks its acceptable to put all this on me.

I've posted previously that he doesn't do anything regarding running the house, shopping, making meals, washing, all the school stuff - I cant think of a single thing he does that contributes to the house other than pay a portion of the bills and mow the lawn. (You all rightly told me to leave the lazy fucker - if only I had taken your advice...) So all of that on top of the summer holidays, moving house and supporting elderly relatives I'm at my wits end. Im also very mad at myself for not leaving him months ago and allowing myself to stay in this position and be treated so poorly.

Thank you, unfortunately DH wouldn't entertain that (see previous post) but next year I will be requesting some parental leave - I agree that the only way is find a way to take more time off work.

YANBU at all to be furious at your DH.

But why on earth are you not using some paid childcare? It won't come close to the cost of nursery, and while it can be hard to find full working hours you have a flexible job that means even 9-1 type clubs would make your life easier. You're working, you need actual childcare, not just patching here and there with play dates.

Ask around on the class WhatsApp or at the school gate and form a list of places for next year and get them booked as soon as they open.

As for your DH, I think you have some big decisions to make.

Oh op what a nightmare. I know this is scratching surface of much bigger issues with your Husband but can I suggest that you pay movers for your house move? They will do full packing service. Honestly it’s the best cash you will spend.

We've been on holiday for 3 weeks, holiday club 1 week, 1 set of grandparents for 1 week, rest of the time has been us yelling at them at home and other grandparents taking them to park etc. just have to muddle through it gets a bit easier as they get older.

Can the house move be cancelled?
Then you can think about leaving the waste of space you currently live with

But why are you buying a new house with someone you intend to leave? I don't get it.

There are holiday clubs still with spaces around here - not full day, but I've seen Facebook posts about 9-1 sports clubs and a local church group doing crafts.

I didn't really want to get into why I didn't leave him but basically, he promised he would change & guilted me about breaking the family up. He seems to think that moving house will change everything. Having more space will make things easier (we are in a very small space at the moment) my school run will go from being at least 30-45 minutes each way (not driving but having to get there to park and walk round) to a 5 minute walk so I'll be essentially gaining an hour a day and will get a lunch break instead of using it to school run.

Hes promised we will get a cleaner, he wants to lean to cook etc etc - I know this is all complete rubbish now obviously ...

I used to have a massive planner with where dd was each day, who was dropping off/picking up etc etc. I worked part time but travelled a lot so would have really struggled without dh doing his bit. I definitely relied heavily on paying for clubs and childcare swaps and my parents helped too (they are the absolute best).

Your husband sounds useless. No wonder you're angry and exhausted

Thank you, this is helpful. Do you know roughly how much Im looking at for a two bed house. All the companies I've looked at want you to put your details in and I don't want to be plagued with calls.

He wants to borrow a van and do it ourselves .........

If you're planning to leave him is it a good idea to commit to a larger house, mortgage and bills?

No its a stupid idea. Id planned to leave, he talked me round then two weeks into the summer holidays I realised he was even worse than I thought 😔

So why are you doing it?

Honestly, I know it’s so so hard, but there comes a point where you have to take responsibility for your own situation. If you honestly believe you’d be better off leaving him, and then you don’t leave him, you share blame for the shittiness of your life.

Having said that, if you really aren’t going to leave then I strongly suggest that on the movers point you give him two options: one is that you pay for a packing and moving service. The other is that you and child will move in to your parents house the week before the move, he can do it all himself with neither of you in the way, and you’ll come back the day after completion.

Remind your husband that this is HIS child too. There should be a mix of you taking holiday, your husband taking time off work, days with grandparents, days at holiday camps and days with childcare swaps.

it helps to sit down before the holiday starts and plan it all. Example of a plan would be:

Monday: mum off work maybe friend over for childcare swap
Tuesday: dad off work
Wednesday: grandparents day
Thursday: child being looked after by the parent of childcare swap
Friday: camp