Working Parents - How do you cover childcare in the Holidays

[wonderings2]

Just as the title how do you cover the school holidays?

DD is 5 so this will be her first 6 week holiday. Myself and DH both work full time, mine is WFH all days. I have an amazing employer who is flexible - I have to be online at least some of the day and attend scheduled calls but as long as the work is done I'm not micromanaged and can log on whenever I want.

Grandparents have kindly offered to cover a few days (again I acknowledge how amazing this is) and I've booked a weeks annual leave.

That still leaves me around 15-20 days to cover, what do you do for these days, do DC go to clubs the whole time, do you let them roam free and hope for the best? What are these clubs and how do you find them?

I'm obviously in a very favorable position (Hats of to parents in the office full time - I don't know how you do it) and I still cant work out how to cover it all?

I'm in Ireland so we have to cover 8 weeks. I do 2 weeks annual leave and 2 weeks unpaid parental leave, then cover the rest with camps. You'll find camps on your school notice boards, ask other parents, local Facebook, local ads, Google. Often local schools will have camps on their premises, local sports clubs also. I have a flexible job like yours and mine are older, but they do get bored when they're home for too long and can't be outside playing with neighbours (which yours is too young to do probably). My husband can be difficult about taking the time too so I sympathise.

We have 8 weeks to cover. We take two weeks of annual leave off together for a holiday. I take a further two weeks unpaid/parental leave. We then tend to take a day off each separately for the remaining weeks and then they go to clubs for the other two days those weeks. I work 4 days pw.

Does school not have a holiday club? Ours is almost booked up so if they do, get on it.

We're about to do our first six weeks too. I work condensed hours and have Fridays off, so that helps. I had intended to go back full time once mine was in school, but realise now that's almost impossible.

We have a combination of school holiday club, splitting annual leave equally between us, a sports camp, two days with granny and a couple of childcare swap days with friends. It feels like a huge juggle and I am not looking forward to it.

I did more than enough WFH with him at home during Covid, not going back there again even if a five year old is a lot easier than a one year old. The odd day is manageable but no more.

I used to take 4 weeks unpaid leave with my pay spread out over the year. My kids were 11 5 and 1 at the time and my husband worked away from home. I also only worked 4 days a week. GP 2 days CM 2 days. I went full time again when the youngest started seniors. Always had flexi...eternally grateful and now with WFH it's so much easier. It does get easier...honest!

2 months to cover here in NI too.

Most of it will be at her out of school club, which opens 7:30-6. A couple of weeks at a Scout camp which is 9-4. A few days at gymnastics 9-1.

All much cheaper than nursery was, so I don't mind paying.

We're keeping her home every Friday for a mix of time with each of us and chill days while we WFH. I wouldn't do it all summer but I think it's important that they get downtime over the summer which childcare doesn't give. Work is flexible so that's fine.

You may need to get a move on though OP, we've had our arrangements in place for a good while though.

If you have a class WhatsApp group, ask for recommendations for clubs etc on there, the ones with older siblings will have it all sussed in terms of what's available.

Absolutely not fair if your DH gets to use all his holiday for himself, but you use yours to cover childcare. We've barely taken any holiday this year because we didn't know how much we'd need to cover school holidays.

Oh and yeah, your DH is a dick, but I guess you knew that.

'I'm battling against a mindset where the women's job can never be equal to a mans and the mum is the default for everything'

Yikes.

I do two weeks, their Dad does two weeks. Two weeks of clubs / favours/ childcare swaps. I am perhaps unreasonable but I am very upfront I can take so and so on these days can you help me out on x date. Also sorting out a liftshare rota for clubs. A lot of sports camps start at 9:30 and go to 3:30 where I am so if one parent collects in the morning and drops them off then the other person can pick up in the afternoon. Work is easier if you tell them I'll start late or finish early but not both in my experience.

I was lucky in that DH works weekends so would get 2 days off mid week. He worked split shifts and some weeks would also get an extra morning off. If he had a morning off, I could start early and finish early for him to get to work.

Also my mum would help out. DH’s parents were always abroad for the summer holidays but if around would help for inset days or other holidays.

I would also claim childcare vouchers all year round to spread the cost of holiday clubs across the year (a bit late for this year).

With DC3 she had a friend whose mum would take odd days to go on trips and take my child too which was fabulous,

You basically don't take any time off together. Between me and DH we get 10 weeks holiday. DS gets 13. So he does two days in holiday club, DH takes off one day, I take off one day and we split a Friday. So across the whole six weeks we only take off about nine days each. From Year 2 it gets easier to swap favours with friends and earn a few extra days.

Nip that in the bud NOW before it becomes the norm.

I also create a spreadsheet and basically tell DH what days he's booking off.

It's hard but my advice after many years doing this when DH and I both worked FT in an office 5 days a week, and had to cover 10-week summer hols:

• Annual leave = 4 weeks cumulatively (I do one week on my own looking after the kids, DH does 1 week, then we take 2 weeks together for family hol - so using 3 weeks from each of our 6 week annual leave allowance)

• Holiday clubs - 2 weeks (eg various sports camps etc) - usually booked with another family so we can split the drop off and pick ups.

• Grandparents - 1-2 weeks (we were very lucky!)

• Friendly teenager - 1-2 weeks I'd usually find a teenager (whose parents I knew) seeking extra summer cash who'd look after the kids at our house all day, from age 5 upwards, with plenty of checking in. My kids always loved being looked after by a fun young person who had loads of energy and would get down on the floor and play with them all day - making dens, waterfights, playground trips etc etc!!

• We usually also did reciprocal childcare with friends - eg I'd have their child for 2-3 days during my week of annual leave while DH was working (and DH did this too) and they'd reciprocate when we were back at work.

Good lord.

What are this sexist pig's redeeming features?

When I was a single parent I:

Used a nanny
Used holiday clubs
Took unpaid leave
Used grandparents
Swaps with other PARENTS not just mums because most dads are not like your husband

These days I have a partner who despite not being their dad shares the load equally.

What has your husband been using his annual leave for thus far?
Was he really expecting that you would just organise her care for all holiday?

@3WildOnes see OPs updates, she's married to a misogynist.

Don’t get into the habit of DH not using his hols for childcare. Sit down with a spreadsheet as soon a school hols are released and divide up equally. What’s worked well for us is working from my parents house for 1 or 2 weeks while they look after the kids. That way we’re there to give them a quick break during the day if needed.

We tried a few things, but ultimately settled on a program run by a private school. It was ridiculously expensive, but they were the only program we found that we were confident they could deal with DD’s medical needs.

Oh and I have a very flexible, wfh job. We still paid for childcare. It’s not fair on you, the children, or your employer to try to juggle it all. Sure, the odd day here or there, but not day after day, week after week.

Most of the year, Dh and I just take days off between us. One of us takes 2 days, the other 3. Dh is self employed so it’s not really a ‘day off’ but he’ll work a bit less, do some admin and can keep an eye on emails while they go out and do stuff.

During summer, 3 days of holiday club and we each take a day off.

My workplace is very flexible too OP, but I'm sorry I think WFH and looking after a 5 year old for the whole summer holidays is taking the piss abit. It's different if your child is ill or its a one off day, but to juggle this for 6 weeks isn't fair on your child or employer. You still have a job to do, unless you can work really early/evening hours when shes asleep and make up the time that way?

People have mentioned some good suggestions here already, if you know another family that you could take turns that's a great solution. Failing that it's booking annual leave, which you and your husband share, and if that doesn't cover then you've no choice but booking a holiday club ,paid childcare or family helping out.

I've booked off 2 weeks, my partner 2 weeks , 1 week we are on holiday and then 2 weeks will be a mixture of grandparents and holiday clubs.

I was a single parent for most of it and used annual leave to take one day off each week, tried to make it a Friday one week and a Monday the next so felt like proper time off. Then holiday club and family for the rest.

I'm taking off 2 weeks, DH also taking off 2 weeks with 1 week overlapping to go on holiday. That leaves 2.5 weeks, and I work 4 days a week so 10 days.

2 she will go to clubs, 1 I'll ask a neighbour with kids who doesn't work if she can have her for a few hours, 2 days I'll ask family for help. The remaining 5 she'll be at home with me while I work.

She can watch TV, do drawing and play with her toys. She's quite an independent 5 year old, so fingers crossed it'll be okay and she won't get too bored. Good luck to you!!

Holiday clubs are the way to go at that age. Mine would go for 3 weeks, 1 week at grandparents (unfortunately the other 2 grandparents, divorced, did zero to help in their entire childhood) then 2 weeks family holidays.