Messy bedrooms vs respecting their space!

[mellycat96]

My kid's room is a bombsite. She would like it to be tidy, but she uses every storage area to create 'apartments' for her stuffed animals, and gets very upset if I touch anything. There is nowhere to put her clothes and books away! If I get her another storage solution, it becomes another apartment for another stuffed animal.

To get her to tidy her room, I am told I should help her feel responsible for her space, and to create her 'sanctuary', and that tidying it should be an act of self-care and not obedience. I am told I should not move her stuff around, and that SHE should choose where everything belongs. But what if she says everything belongs right where it is? Respecting her space means letting her use all her storage as a bloomin' animal hotel, and the floor to store clothes and books! Those are her choices. So what happens when the kid makes DAFT choices? do you still have to respect them?

I started reading this with a no way, not in my house (I really can’t bear clutter and my house is immaculate). I then saw your pictures.

I was picturing mess and things shoved all over. That is so creative, so well thought out and honestly just unbelievable. She could build those apartments over every inch of my house and I would still be in awe. They’re adorable!

You do not have to respect poor choices!!
lol.
sot down and converse. We need these areas clean. These are for clothing. You can use these for apartments. Get her a shelf (like two feet by two feet, and very tall) dirt designated animal apartments.

sorry, your room - like NYC- has limited space. Stuffties are getting roommates! You can’t be squatting on government (laneways etc) or corporate (craft area? Clothing?) space. Getting evicted.

just get in on the game.

Those pictures are gorgeous.

My DS, younger, sets up elaborate Playmobil epics around the room. All the sets have since battled against and joined the Roman leader (who worked his way up from a Gladiator over the course of last year). Now, the Roman leader sets up markets for his subjects, trades with other nations, raises taxes and - last week - adopted two boys who had run away from home. All 100 figures are currently lined up in his room with carts full of food and gold because the Roman leader is taking his children on holiday and needs to take his staff and fighters with them.

We‘ve set some ground rules (wardrobe doors and drawers must open, bedroom door must close and no playing with clothes), then just freed up as much floor space as possible by removing anything he doesn’t need/ play with in there. That’s how he wants to play. Whenever he has a friend round we do a ‘reset’ the day before, and if I notice the game has moved on from the original set up but there are still city walls, siege towers or Trojan horses scattered around the place, will warn him there will be a reset soon, so he needs to get the game to a point where we can do that. I then tidy up with him - we have clear plastic boxes for each topic (Romans, knights, Egyptians, Vikings, Pirates), but there are exceptions like the Viking who rents the tallest tower off the Roman leader to store his gold and sleeps on the top floor, or the Page who has another 6 years to do in the castle before becoming a knight.

Can you reduce what needs to be in the room - possibly by rotating it? I’d then look at a standalone rail and under bed storage for what needs to be there.

Or, could you add some wooden (IKEA) CD stands so every stuffie finally has their own bedroom?

Take pictures for when this phase has passed.

I know! I cannot bear to disturb her creative creations, and I certainly don't think of them as 'mess'. But the floor (not pictured! lol) is un-navigable (is that a word?) due to all the storage being used. I think I'm just going to live with it until she grows out of it which will be all too soon and I'm sure I'll miss it a bit :)

I love this idea! the mean old government comes in and evicts some animals for squatting, and they have to move in with their friends. And they actually enjoy living together and everyone's happy ever after. Might also introduce her to the concept of sharing, which isn't her strong point as an only child. ;)

I adore your son. May I borrow him.

seriously, he needs to become a writer. I want to know what happens to the page!

This is an important point. She has a choice; keep it clean and private, or keep it messy and not private. That's a reasonable set of options, and which one she picks is up to her. You're not invading her privacy, you're taking care of the health of the whole family!

I showed the photos to my daughter (10) and she said your daughter is inspirational 😊(her toys are everywhere but most of them don't live in apartments, they roam the house depending on the game).

I would so prefer that to hair products and makeup. What a lovely girl you have!

He‘s only 7, but is currently planning on an undefined well-paid job, preferably with company car, before he can marry a rich girl and become an archaeologist.

I suspect he will end up doing something creative, though.

And those little bedrooms really are gorgeous. If somewhat prime real estate ☺️