Messy bedrooms vs respecting their space!

[mellycat96]

My kid's room is a bombsite. She would like it to be tidy, but she uses every storage area to create 'apartments' for her stuffed animals, and gets very upset if I touch anything. There is nowhere to put her clothes and books away! If I get her another storage solution, it becomes another apartment for another stuffed animal.

To get her to tidy her room, I am told I should help her feel responsible for her space, and to create her 'sanctuary', and that tidying it should be an act of self-care and not obedience. I am told I should not move her stuff around, and that SHE should choose where everything belongs. But what if she says everything belongs right where it is? Respecting her space means letting her use all her storage as a bloomin' animal hotel, and the floor to store clothes and books! Those are her choices. So what happens when the kid makes DAFT choices? do you still have to respect them?

Aw this is super cute and others are right, it won't last much longer. I suggest a happy medium. Animal houses are allowed here, here and here. They are not allowed in the wardrobe, etc as it's not practical. We need to put clothes away. If she makes a house there, take it apart and confiscate the toys for 24 hours. Allow her creativity, but within your boundaries.

They’re adorable! I’m quite an easy going mum with clear boundaries, so was going to say you need to be clearer with her. But those adorable rooms are quite something wonderful. I think I’d get her a stand alone hanging rail for clothes and enjoy the animal apartments for the next few years before Shein, Lululemon and Urban Outfitters takes over.

There is no need to do anything. And don't import alternative houses! .... the whole point is that they are are her creations ... an expression of who she is ... of her imagination ... don't stifle that or pigeonhole it into some imported alternative ... just leave her be!

It is not a mess!!!

I’m quite impressed with her creations and attention to detail! I would let her have them and just stack her books against a wall and have a drawer under her bed for clothes.

Those photos are adorable. What a lovely memory they will be one day.

Mine are adults now but I had two rules for their rooms, dirty clothes needed to be put in the laundry basket and any food rubbish or dirty crockery needed to be removed daily. If the clothes weren't in the basket they didn't get washed and if the food rubbish and crockery wasn't removed I would ban food from their rooms. I never needed to enforce the latter.

Apart from these I just shut the door if it got messy. I'm very tidy but they take after their Dad!

She sounds like a wonderful creative little girl. Let her be.

My 7YO does the same. It’s not allowed in the wardrobe and we have one shelf that is only for books. Animals will be evicted for squatting if they try to move in as it’s impossible to clean with piles of stuff all over the floor. Anywhere else it’s fine and I let her get on with it.

This is absolutely adorable, genius and beautiful. I couldn’t get rid of this 😭

Can you get a Kallax downstairs and Chuck all her clothes in there?

Yes just leave her to it . Make the odd suggestion what she could do and offer assistance if required but leave her to sort it. Have patience!

So right now the animals have their own bedrooms? I think it's time to have some adorable stuffed-animal dates, romatic picnics, candlelit dinners, maybe a wedding or two if you're of the conservative persuasion, and get them cohabiting. That should free up half the shelves!!

Can you not store her clothes in your room

we have the rule that the route to bed, wardrobe and window has to be free. and the desk has to be clutter free.

other than that it's up to dc how to organise their rooms.

My DD is 13 and in the last few years she's become the messiest person ever. It's not just mess, it's quite disgusting - rotting food, dirty underwear, rubbish on the floor.
She can tidy it one day (after loads of nagging from me) but the next day it's a state again.
I'm not a neat freak but it really gets me down. I do tidy it myself several times a week because I simply can't live with the filth and don't want it to get out of hand.
I realise I'm invading her space and I see things I shouldn't do (secret notes between her and friends about boys etc) but tough. If she doesn't want me seeing this stuff she should keep her room tidy and hygienic!

Yeah it's cute, I'd be saying no to clothes living on the floor due to it though.

Can you just get a couple of plastic boxes to stick all the stuff that's on the floor in and let her continue with the cute bedrooms for stiffed animals on her storage cubes for the time being

Beautiful and funny!

Priceless
Love it.
I had similar rules.
I also used to bribe them with money / new stuff if we had a good clear out of old unused stuff.
( this also works on dh I'm learning, as the kids have grown up and gone )

Having seen the pictures I've got to say what's she's created is amazing.
She is expressing her creativity in this which is really healthy.
So I would have a way in which she could do this and then reclaim her storage space.
I think a floor tile ceiling dolls house - as pp mentioned would be ideal

My rules were that rubbish had to be in the bin, dirty clothes by the washing machine and I didn't want to find food waste, beyond that I let them work their space. I ended up with two tidy adults and a disaster of an adult in terms of tidiness and organisation.
It sounds like she has plans for her space, as long as you can close the door on it, leave her be.

I love this! At least her animals' apartments seem tidy, she's keeping them respectable, so she is developing the skills 😅

I’m sorry this isn’t helpful but oh my god that’s cute.

Just shut the bedroom door. Problem solved. It’s how we work here and once every 4 weeks or so we dust together and have a good clean. It’s about 1/4 of the cleaning given elsewhere but it works. Children grow out of it and extended imaginary play is good at this age.

Give it a couple of years and those stuffed animals will probably nowhere to be seen in her room (those apartments likely to be filled with hair products, make up etc etc 😂 ) just ride with it for now cos as others have said, it really is adorable and it won’t last forever and it’s quite sad when stuff like this stops.
Id perhaps have an area for her clothes and explain that clothes etc have to go somewhere cos the floor is not ok. Then leave the rest of the space for her and the animals

Those pictures remind me so much of dd.
She is back with us after uni and currently using valuable storage as tableaux for sylvanians.

That is hilarious

Of course you don't have to respect her choices. Which one is the parent here?
Put your foot down, give her a limit. Tell her storage is for clothes except this area here where you can build your menagerie. Etc