Baby boy

[AKmama]

i have a 2 year old daughter and a 7month old son. My daughter was a happy, chill, an easy baby to be around. I miss those days. She would play by herself, no problem. Also, a great eater. Not picky. Sleep trained my daughter at 6.5 months and she did very well with it.

My son, since day one has been a clingy baby. And is really only happy when he’s in my arms or my husbands arms. He will tolerate being on the floor for a few minutes, but then has a huge meltdown. It seems as though he is rarely happy when “by himself”. I’ve been trying to sleep train him and he will cry for an hour and a half until I come and get him. He also is very picky at 7 months. He would much rather just nurse all day then eat solids. He also loves to just scream and that really puts me over the edge.

Has anyone had a similar situation? Please tell me it gets better. My patience is being zapped and tapped away by my son. Thankfully my daughter has been great even when I feel like il failing her.

Try cranial osteopathy.

Please don’t leave your baby to cry for so long, it’s cruel.

My second baby was also a Velcro baby, I just met his needs by keeping him close . As he is only 7 months then food is still new and milk should be his main source of nutrition. Picking at food is normal.

He is a different person to your daughter and comparing them isn’t fair.

Get a sling, carry him everywhere, co-sleep. Some babies need more reassurance.

Honestly this sounds completely normal. Baby’s by design are completely and fully dependent on their caregiver for all their needs so it’s biologically normal for them to want to be close to their mothers. Obviously babies have different temperaments so it sounds like your daughter was very easy going but in my experience your son sounds more average.

the best thing you could do is try and re frame this in your mind. You can’t “train” a baby out of doing what every instinct in their body is telling them to do. As they grow they will become more independent but for now they need you. So keep him close, use a sling when needed. And keep repeating this is normal, this will pass.

saying this as a parent to a 3 year old and 14 month old so similar age gap and I get it really is difficult! Also for what it’s worth I found about 7 months the hardest age with both mine, can’t move but desperately wants to. Once they can crawl and engage with some toys it gets a bit easier, then easier again when they can walk, then easier again when they can talk etc etc.

I think you need to remember he’s 7 months! I’m not against sleep training (not CIO) but he’s only 7 months. For food, he’s only been eating solids for what a month? Less pressure, he doesn’t need solid food just have it available for him rather than expecting him to eat meals. As for being alone get a sling, he’s just a more clingy child, it won’t last. And if he cries in a bouncer because you have to
do something, it’s fine.

You left him to cry for an hour and a half before coming to get him?

You're causing attachment issues if you do this. He is trying to develop secure attachment and you're not letting him if you leave him to cry like this.

I sleep trained after the age of one. I'm not against it. But you can't leave a baby to cry like that.

He doesn't 'love to just scream'.

Leaving your baby to cry for an hour and half is abuse.

My ds (2) is still clingy and very rarely plays by himself he’d much rather play with me, dp or dd(4). He does sleep in his own bed but he still cuddles to sleep. Dd on the other hand will happily play by herself for hours and goes to bed on her own. I think unfortunately the old saying is true he’s a mummy’s boy and wants to be attached to my hip at all times.

Please don't keep making comparisons with your daughter. Two completely different beings. Relax take him as he is try something different and please dont leave him to cry , certainly for more than a couple of minutes. One size doesnt not fit all and it doesn't really need to does it?

At this stage, babies are very dependent on you and need reassurance that you are always there. At bedtime, please don’t leave him to cry, keep checking on him every minute, to show him that you are still there. Please don’t leave him to cry and cry.

Why are you so keen for him to be 'independant' and I use that term loosely. He's a baby. He's not being needy or clingy. Couldn't imagine leaving a baby to cry for an hour and a half but then I wouldn't even consider sleep training. Try baby wearing and lower your expectations. He's still really little.

He cannot be a "picky eater" at 7 months old! He is exploring the world of food and textures and tastes. Please don't label him with this.

“My son since day one has been a clingy baby”

is one of the most batshit things I’ve read on this website. He’s a baby. You’re his whole world. Absolutely depressing stuff.

My first son was a lot easier than my second. I had to adapt my methods for my second. I ended up buying a sling as I couldn’t even cook dinner without him wanting to be with me. I (carefully) cooked many meals with him in a sling until he was ready to be left a while. As he got older he’d happily sit in his high chair in the kitchen watching me cook. Although he would settle himself to sleep when first put down at night, he would then need to sleep with me to settle during the night. This continued until he was 6 years old! Whereas my eldest just slept independently from the start and was also happy to play by himself at times.
At 7 months he’ll only have been trying foods for a few weeks so is probably still getting used to the different tastes and textures and may take a little longer than your daughter to do this.
You just need to adapt to their different personalities.

Babies are meant to be 'clingy', they are designed to be close to their mother to have every one of their needs met. Few babies therefore are totally chilled and happy just being left alone to sit, sleep or play. It may be helpful to reframe this as your daughter perhaps being the unusual one in that she was so content being left, your son sounds really quite normal.

Let him cling? Mine was like this also, v demanding, so sling and co sleeping. Not saying it's easy! But sometimes letting go and going with it made it mentally so much easier

Is he definitely well? mine was like that but had eczema and stomach issues.

i would suggest you do some research into attachment and neuroscience in babies. It will help to understand that this is normal and to try and reframe it as positive. Your baby is looking for reassurance that you’re there. They are building attachments with you and ignoring their need for this will most likely create problems for them later. They are building connections constantly in their brain. If you leave them crying for long periods it will cause a negative impact. Every baby is different with different needs. You could also talk to your health visiting team for weaning advice to reassure you. It sounds very normal! From a mum who also had a difficult baby stage, (it’s really hard when you’re in it) and also an early years professional.

Yes, my daughter was like this. It’s very hard. I generally didn’t leave her to cry so as not to disturb my older one. Kids are all so different. It gets easier, eventually.

Leaving him to cry for over an hour is not going to help, you will be creating attachment issues. Try baby wearing with a sling so you can still do other things. When you have to put him down provide stimulation, lights, mats music etc.
He may have acid reflux and be uncomfortable led down. Is he any happier when sitting up?

A picky eater at 7 months? I dont think so

My daughter was such an easy going baby she really never cried always smiling and laughing didn’t need to be held a lot, my son is almost 1 and he’s a very different baby he need to be close by and although he will happily play for 5 minutes he needs me right by him he comes to me or my husband and has to touch us for reassurance sometimes he just wants to be held and he’s not happy to be held sitting down he wants to sit on our hip and snuggle in and have us stand and gets upset if we try to sit down sometimes it’s hard because I’m so exhausted but this isn’t going to last forever Babies are tiny little humans and they each have their own personality they are so young and they need us for absolutely everything including comfort.

You left your baby to cry for an hour and a half. I’m sorry but that is appalling. You will create life long attachment issues.
He doesn’t “love to scream”, but some babies cry more than others - it’s not news. Some babies need more reassurance and touch. He’s only seven months old for gods sake.

horrible to leave lil one to cry for 1.5h , please read 'What every parent needs to know' by Margot Sunderland, she is children psychologist and explains about children's needs as well as the consequences of leaving baby to 'cry it out'. I am surprised that parents still believe in 'cry it out' method