Caught 8 y/o watching porn

[loganfuckingroy]

I've accidentally caught my son watching pretty hardcore porn while I reached over where he was sitting on the sofa to pick up a cup next to him. He tried to draw his iPad up to his chest but I pulled it down and saw a video playing. It was Pornhub and extremely graphic hetero porn.

I took his iPad and started searching through his history and this has been going on for a week. His search history started with Googling "naked people" and then he's been watching several porn hub videos every day. He's autistic and loves watching Minecraft/Roblox/robotics videos with his headphones on so I don't suspect. It turns out his dad left his Google account logged in on my son's iPad after showing him something on YouTube and that's how he's been bypassing the content restrictions I've put in place on our Apple/icloud family settings.

We've chatted about it but he's very embarrassed and thinks he's going to be arrested. Husband has taken them to bed, iPad has been removed. I'm just completely at a loss. 8 is so young and he's not neurotypical.

Did you read OP's post beyond the first sentence?

MrsDTucker · Today 22:36
@MrsSkylerWhite
**
What does your 4 year old grandson have to do with anything?

He has a parental control tablet. Surely appropriate for a 8 year old, too?
Sorry, thought that was glaringly obvious.

Amen. Well said 👏

OP came to ask for advice on what to do next - not for a parent shaming.

We all fuck up as parents. Name me a parent that hasn't made a mistake and I'll name you a liar.

OP I'm really sorry this happend - but it does happen. We are human - we all make mistakes. Your husband probably wasn't
even thinking to sign out of the ipad. I never remember to sign out of anything - purely habit!

I would put measures in place which it sounds like you have and talk to him tomorrow about it and go from there.

Hope you're okay OP.

You can’t brush this under the carpet with an autistic child, you absolutely need to address it. Talk about what he’s seen. Explain that it isn’t real. Answer any questions he might have and tell the school what happened. Also, your husband sounds like he doesn’t have the first idea how to use the internet if he needs adult YouTube to access robotics videos. Most, if not all, can be accessed via the kids version or via Ted Ed / Khan Academy etc.

@MrsSkylerWhite Which 8 year old was searching for porn? The OP's 8 year old searched for 'naked people' which is something that children 8 (and younger) may well be curious about. I certainly was at a similar age.

Unfortunately for everyone, Google doesn't show tasteful nude anatomical drawings as results for that search, it shows pornhub.

Jesus wept. Let go of your pearls, how do you not know how normal this is

You have to have parental controls in place that filter this and anything remotely inappropriate through your internet provider if you have children accessing the internet. I don’t want to judge but I’m really shocked that you had not already done this. The internet is a very scary place and we must protect our kids from it. I suggest you let his school know as he may mention something or do something that will alert them to what he has viewing. It is a safeguarding concern from their perspective so best to be honest and get those parental controls in place ASAP!

Reading comprehension right out the fucking window on this thread.

The OP's child was not searching for porn. Jesus Christ almighty.

It is normal for 8 year olds to be interested in naked bodies and sex. It is only you who is equating this to "sexualised 8 year olds" and "8 year olds searching for porn"

Have some more eye rolls

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Whatever you think, cool as you may be, sexualised 8 year olds is plain wrong.

It’s not that these children are sexualised. It’s natural curiosity, except we live in an age where a search that is innocent curiosity can result in hardcore porn. There have been news stories about how easy it is to find really horrific porn.

I was at school 30/40 years ago. Some children were firmly in the “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine” camp. This is no different to the natural curiosity that some children have.
It’s very unfortunate that he managed to stumble across porn, but the OP knows and is sorting out the parental controls, and it sounds like the child doesn’t know what he saw.

We all make mistakes, some are lucky enough to only make small mistakes, some of us make bigger ones, we learn by them.

@MrsSkylerWhite
Nope not obvious at all why you mention him.

@Cluelessfirstimer thank you. I'm sad and angry but thanks for asking. I feel better that I've done the right thing afterwards and going to see his teacher tomorrow.

My point, @CheeseWisely , is why would an 8 year old be conducting an internet search by themself if there were no parental controls? Whatever the subject?

At that age, they should not have unrestricted access to the internet.

I've no issue at all with children learning about naked bodies but it needs to be in context and age appropriate.

No it's not. Not among my kids or their friends at that age.

@Suncream123

I'm interested to know how old your kids are.

Quite. PP clearly doesn't understand what "sexualised" means.

I'm reminded of Stephen Fry's autobiography where he talks about growing up and playing "Rudies" with his friend when they were about 7. They'd both sneak off to look at each other's bottoms, watch each other peeing, squat over mirrors to see their bum holes, and play a game where they would squash their penises in door frames for no reason.

Imagine the Mumsnet thread "caught my son squatting over a mirror"

"This is child abuse!"
"You're a terrible parent"
"Social services need to be involved"
"What 7 year old would do this?? I don't believe you OP"
"He's obviously seen something to cause this behaviour "

OP has clearly stated they made a mistake and has now looked into parental controls and further measures to ensure it doesn't happen again.

There's really no need to keep going on about it - its over its done.

Maybe people can reply with some actual ADVICE on what to do next - which is what they asked for in the first place.

@loganfuckingroy hope you feel better soon and don't read into the unhelpful comments too much. Sounds like you have a plan in talking to his teacher and setting up controls to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Jesus Christ. How does he even know about porn at that age ?? Why is he looking it up in the first place ? Sneaking down at 5am . Holy shit. I would be beside myself.

You’ve completely made that up. Perhaps read the OP’s comments on the first page which clarifies what’s happened….

You're not a bad parent! Curiosity about bodies is normal and he wasn't searching for porn. I understand that you feel shocked and upset at what he's seen, it's horrible. But what's done is done and going forward you can make sure that adult content is blocked on your router and his access to the iPad is limited to when there is adult supervision. Please don't beat yourself up over this - it's a nightmare for parents having to police their children's internet use these days - mistakes can and do happen 😢 but that doesn't make you a bad parent OP 💐

Early secondary school.

I'm a teacher. We teach the children how to use iPads and Google as research tool. they are capable of putting something into a search engine that they want to see. I've seen 6 year old boys type "willies" and "boobies" into Google. If Google had existed 50 years ago kids would have been doing the same.

I think you're behind the times on this.

@MrsSkylerWhite Did you actually read the OP or just see the title and jump straight on your high horse? The temporary lack of parental controls was a mistake, a mistake that the OP unfortunately didn't know had been made until it was too late.

Congrats on the perfect parenting yourself though 👍🏻

The op explained in her post how he got unfettered access. It was a mistake with another Google account being left logged in

Right?😂 I was thinking the exact same thing

@Trickofthetrade Do me a favour and Google 'naked people' if you have an unrestricted device handy, which I assume you do to be on Mumsnet.

You don't need to actively look for porn nor know what it is. It'll find you with the merest bit of mild curiosity.