Please help child with bad toothache

[ConfusedConfuse]

My daughter has horrible tooth ache but she is autistic and won't let the dentist look never mind do anything so they can't, we are awaiting a referral to the hospital but been told this will be 6 months minimum but in the mean time she is screaming and crying in pain I can't take her anywhere as she is kicking off horrifically, she's screaming the place down but won't take any medication, what else can I do I'm at a loss

She's also not eating

Thst sounds challenging op. Will she let you have a look / take a photo? You can get little cameras like pen for inside your ear but might she direct one into her mouth to show you or the dentist what's going on? Photo attached.

Can you see what the issue might be? If obvious inflammation I wonder if they might prescribe antibiotics based on a photo? If a wobbly tooth then maybe pain relief and try some clove oil for numbing.

Has the dentist definitely done the referral?
Can you ring the place the dentist has referred to and speak to them regarding the current acute pain? Let them know you're available to bring her in at v short notice for assessment?

Yes they definitely put in the referral but this was only on Friday so we have a long wait, I can try the mirror but she won't cooperate at all and they are unwilling to do anything. Can anyone recommend anything to help with the pain? I'm at my wits end she's been in a horrific mood all day. (She's 13 so can take most things) or has anyone found a way to get their child to allow the dentist to do the work? If she would let them do it she wouldn't have to wait for the hospital.

You could try getting oragel extra from a pharmacy. It tastes foul initially but it numbs really well. You'd have to check the age rating but I would imagine it'd be ok for a 13 year old.

Is she aware that the dentist may be able to take a look or do X-rays and then give anti biotics if needed which would help with initial pain? Without necessarily needing to do anything ‘horrible’ that none of us enjoy going to the dentist for. Then maybe once the pain has calmed it may be easier to think about next steps.

Would she try a salt mouth wash? Must be luke warm water as too hot or cold will cause pain. It's never failed me.

Standard painkillers may help a little and also rubbing on sensitive toothpaste. But it won’t solve the problem :(
I remember having horrific toothache once and I spent a few days doing this while so waited for appt. But be careful with ibuprofen on an empty stomach. I ended up being sick.

Can you afford to pay for treatment?

Asking as DD recently had to have 2 teeth removed for orthodontics work but as she's a nervous person and fainted at the dentist and the NHS refused to do it under general we had to pay for private removals under sedation. There was a not to far away dentist from us who specialises in children and nervous patents, they where fantastic. I know you shouldn't have to but if you can aford to it maybe worth considering.

As for what you can do right now. Will she not even take any pain medication?

Unfortunately not she has learning difficulties alongside autism so explaining anything to her isn't helping as she doesn't understand it's just a check. Dentist of course doesn't want to force anything which is fair enough. Will try the suggestions thanks.

Taking it but very reluctantly she has been spitting out the medicine as I only have liquid one as she won't swallow tablets. Can't afford private I'm a lone parent and not working due to being a full time carer.

Something as simple as a warm hot water bottle put on the side of her face, or a cold pack( frozen peas wrapped in a lovely soft blanket) may help distract her from the pain a little while you try to get some pain relief in

Probably not helpful, but when I was younger I got in a panic about the dentists and they let me listen to my earphones when I was there. If she has some favourite music this could be a way of keeping her calmer if you do ever get as far as a dentist.
I’d ring the emergency dental number for your area and see what they can suggest as it sounds like an intolerable situation for six weeks. She’s only a child and a vulnerable one from the sounds of it if she has those additional needs. They must have specialist dentists for children/learning difficulties/ASD and they should be able to get you an emergency treatment. They might be flexible about seeing her in a chair in the waiting room or similar if the big dentist chair is scary for her.
As for pin relief, I know other SEN parents who crush tablets into yoghurts. I imagine she’s not eating because of the pain but if there’s anything you could hide it in that could be an option.
I hope you have a breakthrough soon, it sounds really hard for you both. Sending good wishes.

Oh goodness what a nightmare. You do have to be careful if there is an infection as it needs treating before it gets worse. I don’t know if a GP would give antibiotics or not.
I wonder if anbesol liquid might help too.

No they wouldn't I spoke to them today and they said the dr won't deal with anything to do with dental care and the dentist said they won't prescribe anything unless she lets them look

It's 6 months, that's the wait for the specialist dentist. She has a restricted diet anyway and generally eats very little for example yesterday she only ate one pot of jelly for the whole day I've spent a fortune ordering things she likes and she won't eat any of it (mash, ice cream, milkshakes) just as an attempt to get her to eat

I’m wondering though if you ring the specialist dentist and say that you’re worried that she has an infection and that if left untreated could lead to sepsis whether they’d see if there’s a way to prioritise her care. You could also mention the eating and your worries that this could spiral into larger problems if left untreated. Six months is dangerous and intolerable. It’s an equalities issue surely. I know you might get nowhere but I’d try again and maybe threaten to go down some of these complaint routes:

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/dentists/how-do-i-complain-about-my-dental-treatment/

They shouldn’t be letting her suffer like this. Good luck.

Ugh so frustrating . Do you have any way of getting her to a dentist at all? I’d be worried about sepsis if it continues. A 6 month wait is ridiculous.

So sorry to hear OP. Is there no emergency dental service near you? Hospitals sometimes have emergency dental care. I just thing it is quite poor of the dentist to simply put a referral in that may take 6 months. Appreciate they weren’t able to look at your DD’s teeth but because of that very fact, the dentist has no idea what the issue may be. If she has autism and learning difficulties then they need to make some reasonable adjustments.

Thanks all. I've been told 6 months is "good" as some people have told me they have been waiting for 2 years 😔 I'm trying again today as she's in a slightly better mood (though still crying) so I might be able to manage to get her somewhere today but unless she lets them look I don't know I've just been given an emergency dental appointment today after calling 111 but they said there are no emergency dentist specifically for children never mind a child with autism and LD. it's at 2 o'clock and I honestly don't know if I will be able to make it back in time to collect my other children from school as it's not local to us but I'm going to have to try and hope it doesn't take too long it's the only appointment they had today

Maybe call school and explain the situation and see if they’ll hold the others in after school club cos it does sound like a very stressful situation. Hopefully they’ll be supportive.

She was in and out in 5 minutes as she refused to let them look, they have referred to kings college which I am nowhere near and have no idea how I would even get her there plus 3
other children

Can you ask about hospital transport?

OP, you've confirmed the referral has been done. Do you have a copy? Has it been accepted?
If you've been referred to Kings College, now you need to get on the phone and ring the numbers in the link below and tell them what you've said here.

www.kch.nhs.uk/services/services-a-to-z/paediatric-dentistry/

Tell them you're available for cancellations. That's what parents do who are in your situation with the Trust I work for. We would try to help ASAP in the situation you describe.
LD, ASD , uncooperative and highly anxious-I would imagine a General Anaesthetic with maybe a premed to sedate her first. The only way you'll get access to this is in the specialist dental services.

There may be a nearer Community Dental Service to where you are located with access to Paediatric GA. Hard to know but I'm sure your own general dentist knows the appropriate referral route. Should do anyone.
Get on the phone OP. Forget general dental practice, it's not going to happen when your child cannot cooperate even for an exam.

I've spoken to kings college they said they won't do anything only look, count teeth and maybe an X-ray but they will not be doing any work. They said they are only seeing her due to her being several autistic otherwise they wouldn't be seeing her. And yes referral has definitely been done.