No drop & run at party: how to word it?

[LilyPlantLove]

Would love some help wording invite for DDs 4th birthday party.

It's going to be at a local park (open space, exits etc). She's our first and I don't know any parents personally who would for a 4-5 year old but we're inviting the whole class (so at the moment no idea of turnout, could be 5 could be 30!), I don't know most of the parents so I just want to make sure it's very clear that parents are to stay with their kids the whole time.

How do I word it kindly but explicitly?

Also, what might be a reasonable amount of time, 1 hr or 2? (We are inviting family etc so will be at the park longer than that but I wanted to give the school kids a specific window to be there so we can do the cake then)

Thank you!

The logistics of running a party in a park gives me the shivers. Will you cordon off an area ? You could have others trying to join in, as well as others trying to go AWOL. What if it rains ? You will also have to expect invitee-siblings to be there if you're wanting parents to stay.

Frankly as a first birthday party for your DD I would look at hiring the local community hall for 2 hours - much safer and more predictable

Frankly as a first birthday party for your DD I would look at hiring the local community hall for 2 hours - much safer and more predictable

I agree with this. You're worried about people dropping and running, but in my experience that doesn't happen until at least 7+. You should be worried about the logistics of holding a party in the park, especially one that has lots of exits. Hiring a community centre is an easier and safer option, and will make the event much less stressful.

I’d be amazed if any parents would be expecting to drop and go at this age. The first drop and go parties started in year 1 for us and it was specifically said that this was what was happening (I.e. letting parents know there wasn’t enough space for them to stay, it wasn’t the default position).

Please join us for a birthday get together to celebrate X. Since it is a gathering at the park we wont be able to watch all the dc, so if you cant stay yourself, please make arrangements with another parent to keep an eye on your dc. If you want to bring (and watch) any siblings, they are also welcome and we are looking forward to a fun afternoon .

more detail about what you are providing for games and food/drinks
what will happen if the weather forecast is awful

Most won’t drop and run at that age, though some parents may bring two children.

You could always say something along the lines of, we’d love it if parents could stay too, we haven’t met many of you, nibbles provided etc?

How will you cater if you don’t have an idea of numbers?

Agree with PP that a church hall etc. would be far preferable!

Although I would say most parents would not expect to leave at that age I would seriously look at the logistics of having a party in the park , it sounds like a nightmare and also it’s one thing saying you can’t leave to the parents but what you are actually saying is come and supervise your child , not come and sit down to chat with all the other parents .

The logistics of running a party in a park gives me the shivers.

Agree with this. If it is the whole class you are inviting maybe 20 dc + parents + your own family to a public park, or is it a special area you hire and have sole use of? If not surely you’ll be mingling with unknown public too? I don’t see how this can work.

@DPotter thanks for the reply. We've done it every year for her and it's been both easier than any other party I've organised in the past and cost-effective.

In response to your questions:

Will you cordon off an area? - No, it's essentially just a meet-up in the park but with picnic sandwiches and birthday cake. I'd assume most parents would've been to one with their kids before and know the deal. But, this is also why I want to make absolutely sure parents will be staying.

You could have others trying to join in, as well as others trying to go AWOL. - The more the merrier! We've struck up lovely conversations with other park-goers in the past and one year there were another 2 parties on at the same time and it was a lovely vibe.

What if it rains ? - we tend to find an area under tree cover and bring a pop up gazebo with up

You will also have to expect invitee-siblings to be there if you're wanting parents to stay. - again the more the merrier. Siblings, cousins, dogs, all welcome! (That's the joy of it being in the park and not having to worry about numbers, it's a big park!)

It's worked really well in the past and family/friends have had a great time. But this is the first time we're inviting the whole class and people we don't know hence wanting to make sure they know it's a drop and stay party.

How about:

We are having a picnic and games in the park/community hall to celebrate DD's 4th birthday. All parents and children from Squirrel Class are invited. As the children are young, we are asking parents and carers to stay. Nibbles for adults provided. Siblings welcome. If you can't make it but your child would like to come, please organise for another adult to keep an eye on your child.

I think what you’ve planned sounds lovely and a PP has given a great example of how to word it.

Most will stay anyway but there is always one who will happily abandon their small child and their siblings.

What's your "pouring with rain all day" back up plan?

This sounds more like a meet up in the park with family and friends than a party. I think this is great if they are family and friends and are therefore there to socialise with you as well as it being for a party for your DD.

But in this case you're inviting people you dont know - and a whole class of them. I think people will expect a more "formal" type of party unless you word it more as a gathering to celebrate DD's birthday that they are welcome to come along to.

I think it’s really unlikely parents will drop and go at 4.

@SeaToSki's response is perfect. FWIW OP, I did DS's 4th party in a community hall a few months ago and found it incredibly stressful. 20 3-4yos running around screaming in an enclosed, echoey space high on the excitement of a party (we didn't even serve any sugar except for the cake at the end!) is my idea of hell 😅
Conversely, we went to a friend's DDs 4th birthday at the local park recently and it was lovely and relaxed. They had gotten there early and bagsied a couple picnic tables, put up some bunting in the trees, colourful tablecloths and paper plates etc, plenty of snacks and drinks... the kids basically entertained themselves in the park while the parents kept half an eye on them and had a lovely chat. I did ask my friend what she would have done if it had rained and her back up plan was if it was a bit drizzly to borrow her mums massive camping gazebo/marquee thing, and if it was pissing it down, call it off for nursery friends and just have cousins and grandparents at the house.
I think it's a lovely idea.

I know my reply will sound defensive but, geniunely, from a good place, It's a meet-up in the park with sandwiches and cake. Not really sure what is complicated or dangerous about that unless people think going to the park with their kids is dangerous and complicated.

We have a time window where we'll be at the park, it's essentially just a drop by and say hello if you're about.

Like I said, we've done it before. 3 times! It's been lovely and where we live it's not that unusual at that time of year hence you end up with multiple parties on at once.

On extra people, we've had a family bring along 4 kids and most bring 2, it's nice to see everyone play together.

We did this, not sure why other posters are panicking about a party in the park. Obviously you can't cordone it off 😂 you just put a big picnic blanket down as a base and chuck bags on it and then the kids go climb and slide.

Time - 1.5 hours. Two hour parties are a drag. That gives time for play and fifteen mins for cake at the end. We then played "sleepy bunnies" (but my child was three), gave them all a bubble wand and say thanks for coming.

Phrasing - having a get together in the park for xs birthday. Would love for you and your child to join us (so you're inviting the adult first). Please rsvp blah blah blah.

Enjoy!

If you've done it before every year why don't need help wording invite??

thanks for the reply. We've done it every year for her and it's been both easier than any other party I've organised in the past and cost-effective.

A small party for family and a few nursery friends and their parents is very different from a class of 4-5 year olds.

No, it's essentially just a meet-up in the park but with picnic sandwiches and birthday cake. I'd assume most parents would've been to one with their kids before and know the deal.

You can't assume parents will have been to a party in the park before. Lots of parties for this age group are soft play / community hall parties.

we tend to find an area under tree cover and bring a pop up gazebo with up

One gazebo for 30+ children and their parents isn't going to cut it. You could end up with lots of no shows and a very disappointed birthday child.

again the more the merrier. Siblings, cousins, dogs, all welcome!

While this sounds lovely to you, it sounds like a nightmare to me. Unpredicatable dogs, random children from the park, strangers, unknown allergies.

Is there a reason why you don't want to hire a hall?

OP has already explained that this is the first time that they've invited children whose parents she doesn't know.

@RosaRoja great question! This has given me the sweats in the past but I just keep the menu super simple now, over-cater and what doesn't get eaten we share with the neighbours. Works well.

I think firstly you may need to find out if you're permitted to have a large catered gathering of, potentially, 60+people in a public place.

@Whinge we have a core group of people that will turn up no matter what and make a super fuss of her. She won't be disappointed.

Yes, not hiring a hall because we like the flexibility of numbers. A hall with 6 people is very different to a park with 6 people where it can still be fun etc. Also when it comes to famly etc they stay well beyond the time and hang out chat, play games. It's a great opportunity for everyone to gather. Not much felxibility when you have to leave at a certain time etc. And why not home, we live in a smal home and just don't have the space to entertain.

Outing but oh well...I always add a "feel free to drop and dash" on the invites.

In my experience parents don't usually do this until year 2. Some did at year 1, but only for the children who felt confident and secure.

I wouldn't want the responsibility of possibly 30 4 and 5 yo. They're too erratic still

Omg ignore me!!! I read that completely wrong. Not sure how. I've clearly joined the illiterate idiots. You've just witnessed a whole new low.