No drop & run at party: how to word it?

[LilyPlantLove]

Would love some help wording invite for DDs 4th birthday party.

It's going to be at a local park (open space, exits etc). She's our first and I don't know any parents personally who would for a 4-5 year old but we're inviting the whole class (so at the moment no idea of turnout, could be 5 could be 30!), I don't know most of the parents so I just want to make sure it's very clear that parents are to stay with their kids the whole time.

How do I word it kindly but explicitly?

Also, what might be a reasonable amount of time, 1 hr or 2? (We are inviting family etc so will be at the park longer than that but I wanted to give the school kids a specific window to be there so we can do the cake then)

Thank you!

Thank you @Springadorable . Bubble wands sound like a great idea! As does 1.5 hrs. You're right, 2 hours sounds like a lot!

Party in the park is fine - and fun! Kids love the park 🤷‍♀️

Standard invite - picture of picnic basket, please join us to celebrate XX birthday on XX date and time at X park, we are flexible, feel free to arrive later or earlier than start time to enjoy the park and bring any siblings along! We regret we won't be able to watch any children other than our own as we will be sorting food etc so please can parents be in attendance/make alternative arrangements for children to have adults present.

Hopefully there is but - the park has toilets available right? As logistically those kiddos will be constantly going in and out of toilets 😂

😂 worry not @MillshakePickle we all have our days! But thank you anyway 😉

@HAF1119 I know right, the park is awesome!

This wording is great, thank you!

Yes definitely toilets there and we try and grab a spot that's close to both the toilets and the playground because one year we didn't ... 😅 (thankfully it was a low kid-count year)

This thread is perfectly illustrating how social media is basically just about telling other people off! 🙄

All sounds fine unless it rains! What is your backup plan?

Will there be super-soakers?

(https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/569630-super-soaker-etiquette-at-parties)

I'm wondering how many parents who don't know you, will feel comfortable coming anyway. This basically sounds like you're having a party for family and close friends but others are welcome to pop by if they want to. Which is lovely and welcoming for some people but might be very intimidating for others. It sounds like the sort of event that might end up with people awkwardly sat on a picnic blanket on the edge of a big group while their DC plays.

Oh as a dog owner I hate parties at the park, there’s a clear dog free playground, rest is dog friendly but obviously I can’t have my dog running around when other people have decided to put cake, sandwiches etc on the floor (albeit on a blanket).

but that’s me, and I do keep my dog on a lead and away from the party to avoid her ruining it. then the next day walk where we’ve got to be on extra vigilance to avoid dog snaffling up all the dumped chocolate biscuits and the like.

That’s before you get to other parents who aren’t party invited feeling they can’t use the park (you say the more the merrier, but most parents would stop their dc joining in).

anyway, ignoring the antisocial aspect of holding a private event in a public place without renting it, the wording others have suggested is fine.

(Take all your rubbish with you. Including picking up dropped food.)

I don't understand why people are getting anxious at the thought of a party in the park.

Sounds lovely OP. PPs have given great suggestions for wording. Have fun!

@meetmeatsunset Yes, I've checked our local council guidelines in the past and in our area no permit is needed for a private event of this nature for under 100 people.

Also, yes I did say it could be as many as 30 kids but I was over-estimating based on a standard class size. It's pre-school and I'm sure they have less kids thinking about it and I fully expect the majority won't attend when you consider availability, logistics, not knowing us well and, frankly, just not fancying it, which is perfectly valid.

So I'd imagine we won't get numbers nearly as much as that.

@redskydarknight perfectly valid, which is why everyone is free to decline! It really comes down to not wanting to include some kids but exclude others.

@FancyBiscuitsLevel we put the food on a pop-up table to try and avoid that and yes of course we take our rubbish with us! Usually we even pick up other people's rubbish and connect with the park-keeper beforehand.

I really like your wording too @SeaToSki , thank you. Will be drafting something close to this.

Picnic in the park is a lovely idea and we held them some years when the children were little.

Just write on the invite - As the party is in a public place we cannot be responsible for children other than our own so please make sure there is an adult accompanying your child.

I don't know anyone who drops and runs at that age, maybe 7 upwards. And siblings and more the merrier is standard
Enjoy!

I know you are trying to keep costs down but isn’t it almost too cheap to call it a party? Do you spend any money on your guests in exchange for the inevitable present? It’s a good idea whilst they’re very young but some may see you as tight as they get older.

I wouldn't want to bring my children to this. What you're describing is a play date in a park, not a birthday party. That's fine if you want to save on venue hire and catering, but calling it a birthday party is a blatant present grab. Dc was invited to a soft play 'party'. We had to pay entry, and no food or drink was provided, but we were expected to hand over a gift.

What is with all these people thinking parties in playgrounds are crap?? It's the ones with 30 screaming kids packed into a village hall that are torture!
Parties in the park are heaven - low key, non competitive, encourage play...
Hope you have a wonderful time OP.

Present grab?? Honestly MN is hilarious sometimes.

No. Obviously you can't. So your options are a) keep your dog on lead or b) train it. I trained mine, so parties aren't a problem.

From the way you word it, your dog would struggle with someone sat on the grass having a sandwich so the size of the party doesn't matter. And once the children are off the mat and playing they are just the same as normal kids in the park so hardly intimidating?

I'll look out for you giving surly looks at children enjoying themselves 😂

I think it sounds great, chilling on a picnic blanket hopefully in the sun whilst the kids play. Nice way to get to know the other parents in a less stressful environment where you don't feel you need to stay the whole time like at a soft play or something.

@Iwantamarshmallowman

calling it a birthday party is a blatant present grab.

It's literally the child's birthday.

I despair with Mumsnet. These kinds of opinions are mind boggling and fascinating in equal measure.

MN is a wild place sometime 🤣🤣🤣
'Present grab', 'too cheap'. Honestly it's absolutely insane.
I'll happily add 'no presents needed' if that makes you feel better.

I just want to celebrate my kid for a day with loved ones and give her an oportunity to have a play with her friends in the fresh air. What in the world is cheap and grabby about that?! Food is bloody costly nowadays and we'll be catering for everyone, snacks, drinks and tidbits to take away. (and yes, again, we'll make sure to pack it all away and pick up the rubish)

I mean it's both hilarious and sad. I'm not from the UK originally and where I grew up we really didn't have much, getting together was always about joy and connection however we managed to get it done, not about the cost. It used to be such a joy, and I'm an introvert! It's sad to see that some put such focus on the cost and just see problems and danger everywhere. But each to their own.

It's not something any of my 3DC have been invited to over the last 20 years & would think its a bit cheeky you calling it a birthday party (sorry).

So I'd have to supervise my own DC in a public park (not secure so they could wander off) have nowhere to sit (I'm too old to enjoy sitting in the floor), manage their entertainment (mine get pretty bored in the park within about 10 minutes), be out in whatever the weather felt like doing that day & enjoy expected to provide a present! I prefer a kids party where my dc is entertained for 2 hours & I can be there to keep an eye on but ultimately have a rest & chat with the other parents as the entertainment is provided by the party parents.

Where we are, what you are doing is inviting parents to meet up with you in the park - its not a party. Perfectly fine to do so, but make it clear that it's not a party but a meet up so you are managing expectations (& so people can choose not to attend if that's not their sort of thing).

I'm sure you & your daughter will have a great day regardless but please be clear in the invites what you are actually inviting them too!