10 year old won't use toilet

[Katiemonkey15]

We are at our wits end now with 10yo dd who has fairly frequent accidents in her pants because she just won't go to the loo.

She eats a good diet, no food allergies (we tested), no learning or behavioural issues and nobody else in the family has any issues. We have a 3yo who just toilet trained like a dream yet were dealing with this with a 10yo. I do try not to get too cross or overly embarrass her about it but it's really tough because she will literally sit on the sofa and poo her pants rather than take herself to the loo. Sometimes her sister will tell me that she's doing it cos she can tell by her body language (and the smell and somwtkmes noise) but dd herself just sits there and shows no urgency to get herself to the loo. Unless I frog march her and make her sit she won't go to the loo at all.

Have tried incentives, punishments and nothing seems to work. GP thought she might be constipated so we tried laxative drink sachets for a while but only made it worse as gave her diarrhea.

Anyone any advice on how to basically re-toilet train a ten year old?

She has had so much to contend with. It must all have been very trying for you too. Hope the examination under g.a. clears it all up.

Glad they’re taking it seriously and checking, though it’s a tricky time for your lovely dd to get through. Sending all the best to both of you and your family ❤️

Thanks for all the kind messages. I'm glad its over but it wasn't so bad and she was a trooper. I was definitely the more anxious one.

They warned us yesterday that she might have a bit of pain and maybe even some bleeding from her bottom but luckily no bleeding at all and she didn't complain of any soreness until late last night and seems to be fine today. She is still passing a lot of wind which I know is from the air they used but since last night when she does some liquid stuff is coming out. She thought she'd wet herself at first but it's definitely not wee. It's clear and odourless and quite thick but could it be a sign of infection or something already? There's quite a lot of it so I'm a bit worried.

Probably left over colon prep. I wouldn’t worry unless it lasts a few more days, or she has a fever or is feeling obviously unwell/in pain. She’s had a lot of “interference” down there and things will take a day or two to normalize. Did you get any feedback?

When I had a colonoscopy a nurse warned me that I might have a little diarrhoea later in the day, because they pump some water into the gut during the procedure. So I think passing a bit of liquid is normal.

Maybe call the paediatrician’s secretary on Monday if you’re concerned.

It's probably from the procedure. Hoping you all get some rest

She didnt have a colonoscopy so don't know what 'prep' she'd have been given.

It's probably just lubricant. An infection won't look like that.

Yes it does look like it could be that but she's passing it for hours now so I don't think it could be just that?

Yes mostly reassuring he said. No need for biopsy or anything which was a relief and her rectum isn't stretched which is a good sign. He thinks something is going on with the muscles at the moment and did an ultrasound he wasn't totally happy with but he's happy to wait and see for now and see if things improve when the fissure heals up. If not, he said the problem is luckily very treatable. Main thing now is stopping her getting constipated again so she has to stay on 4 sachets a day for now and have extra medication on day 2 of not going so fingers crossed that'll be enough and things will sort themselves

This must be so hard for a young lass to have to deal with - anything to do with bottoms is a bit embarrassing for a child. Well done you for supporting her through this. I hope she will be fully well soon.

@Mischance she's been amazing and have to say the team looking after her have been amazing and put her at ease so much. I think another year or two would make a massive difference so praying its long sorted before she hits the self conscious tween/teen phase.

The liquid and the gas both seem to have finally stopped so hoping it was just something they'd put in during the procedure

What exactly did she have done? It does sound like it’s probably just the lubricating jelly they’d have used for the scope or ultrasound

She had an ultrasound and did have a scope but not as invasive as a colonoscopy. That was all.

I’m so pleased that her bowel isn’t stretched. I was beginning to worry about the motility too. My dd had issues with that for a while after being constipated. She was medicated for that reason. It felt so wrong giving such high doses to such a wee person, but it didn’t cause any issues.

@Fraaahnces thanks. Yes he thinks the muscles aren't working as they should at the moment but wants to see if they improve naturally when she's not been constipated and the fissure has healed so fingers crossed. What medication was your daughter on and how long was she on it for?

She took bisocodyl (Dulcolax) for several years. Obviously there can be side effects with that, including severe cramping as well as leakage, so I would wait and see what doctor says rather than recommend experimenting. She also took Domperidone (Motilium) for a while as well. She is 20 now and favour a healthy diet with lots of fresh veggies, rice and pulses.

How is your DD @Katiemonkey15?

Sos, I commented on the wrong post.