How important is it for children to have their own bedroom?

[everycloudhasone]

We have a 3 bed one boy and one girl and for a long time now we've been done and happy as a 4.
However we've had this yearning for one more which doesn't seem to be going away.
If we did have another they would have to share a bedroom with whichever gender they are.
We're not in a position to move house and are only at talking stages but would it be selfish or would the children be at a disadvantage for sharing when at the moment they have their own space?
I know lots of people don't have a choice but we do and haven't made that choice yet so would like to hear from people who shared a bedroom and was it a good experience or would you have preferred your own space?
I was a single child and always wished I had a sibling to share with but understand that the reality might be very different.

I guess it will partly depend on the age gap?
Having your own space becomes more important in teenage years. Mine would have loved it as kids, but hated it as teens. But the your circs may have changed by then..

It comes down to personality. Mine shared happily until they were 6&8... then the clash between extrovert, high energy DD2 and more sedate, needing calm DD1 made DD1 progressively stressed out. As soon as they had their own space, they went back to being best friends.

And also the age gap is surely relevant. And how long the new DC will be in with you

My husband and his brother shared until my BIL moved out at 22. They are very close brothers now.

Mine have been sharing from when the youngest was 1. We plan for them to always share.

Mine happily shared until they were 8 and 6 and we took the decision to give them their own rooms, I have one neat child and one messy Child and they clashed.

Dh shared until he was 20.

my friend shared until she was 16.

some families have to share.

i think as long as they are close enough in age then it’s fine to share.

For me personally, I wouldn't want my kids sharing a room at all. From my own experience, sibling relationships are just too risky for me to make housing decisions that depend on them having to share.

But I don't think it's the end of the world if they do, depending on gender, age gap or if there's a larger house on the horizon eventually. I'd be basing who shared based on age gap rather than gender until the teen years though.

I had twins.

They chose to share until age 11.
(We had space for a bedroom each they didn't want it).

I shared with my sister until I moved out. It was no big deal.

I was sharing with two younger sisters till I left for university, and absolutely hated it. Bunks and a single bed in a tiny room where there was barely enough floor to stand on between the beds to get dressed or undressed. Homework had to be completed lying on beds. We’re not close as adults, and I think it’s partly because we were so crushed together as children. It would have mattered less had the rest of the house been less tiny, though.

What's the age gap?

My dd's didn't get their own room until they were 17 and 18! Opposite personalities but never any agro about sharing... Ds's shared until 6 and 12...and a room became available for the 12 yo!!

I should also say- we are of a cultural background that big families and siblings sharing is utterly normal. Hardly any of my friends didn't share, and hardly any of us would choose to put our kids alone.

I think it depends on the age gap and the personality of the children. Teenagers need their own space, even if they have to share a room. Is there a way to create extra space within the existing footprint of the house?

Obviously lots of siblings have to share and are fine. If my two had had to share it would have been horrendous as DS1 was very difficult as a teen and definitely needed his own room. Had we only had two bedrooms we would probably have divided the largest to give them two rooms, or DH. and I would have used the living room as our bedroom.

I shared a room as a child and I craved my own space so badly. I think having time alone is important. I struggled with keeping my room clean due to having my messy sibling! We had different tastes and ways of doings things.

I’ve always said I’d never have more kids than I have bedrooms as a result.

My DH shared until his teens & hated it.

As others say - what's the age gap? How do your existing DC feel about a potential new sibling?
You may also need to consider the practicalities, not just in terms of rooms, but car seats, entrance fees to attractions, hotel rooms, etc. All becomes more expensive & harder to accommodate 5 rather than 4.
Why do you think you want another child?

Some kids would love it, I would have hated it

But if they are forced to do it they wouldn't have a choice and I wouldn't do it

You say you’ve been happy and done as a foursome for long time. How old are your kids now? Sharing when there’s a very big age gap, and when they’re used to their own space, isn’t going to be great. It’s not like when they’ve shared since being a baby and toddler so are close in age and don’t know any different.

I'd say not too important under 10, but essential after that.

I think it's important, especially in the teen years. But the bedroom is just one aspect of what your children would lose with your time and money split further still by another child. I would stop thinking about your own "yearning" and consider the children you have.

I think this is going to become much more common over the next couple of decades as housing costs rise, families can't afford bigger properties and won't want to limit family sizes just for this reason. It'll become the norm again for only the best-off families to have a room per child, as it was in past decades.

Shared till I left home aged 19. Wasn't a massive issue.
However I went for a second and ended up with twins. I also had one dc who developed a medical condition needing checks through the night and machines going off, so not compatible with sharing we found. 2 dc are also asd so it ended up being very important to have their own rooms. You never know what dcs needs will be and can't always plan for these.

It depends on the children's personalities and the age gap to a degree. You can only go with accommodation you can afford.

One option is to extend into the roof. Another is to divide a room and the third is you work with what you have.

My friend had a three bed house and four children.

Her eldest two daughters share they have a three year age gap.
The youngest two boy and a girl shared until they were 11 and 13, the room has now been divided to make two single bedrooms.

They are 4 and 6 but do spend a lot of time in each other's rooms playing together.
It would be one of them to share with the new baby once they're old enough.
We have two nice big double rooms and a single so whoever didn't share would have the single but it's a not a box it's big enough for a double bed/desk.
Part of me thinks it's perfect as it is but then we keep revisiting the baby idea again.

I had DS 7 and DD4 when DS2 was born…..moving forward it would not be approximate to share with DD and age difference to great to share with DS1 …..that said, I would always have wanted all my children to have their own rooms….reflecting their personalities and somewhere for them to go and not have to share the space……we put in a loft conversion to make our house 4 bedded….di a lot of the work ourselves to cut down on costs

so your oldest is going to be 7 at least if you have another…..fine when they are little …..but not to bedroom share when oldest is 13 and going thru puberty and youngest is 6…..and not fair for one child to have their own room and 2 to share IMO…..kids grow up fast….you thinking about the here and now and not considering the future