How important is it for children to have their own bedroom?

[everycloudhasone]

We have a 3 bed one boy and one girl and for a long time now we've been done and happy as a 4.
However we've had this yearning for one more which doesn't seem to be going away.
If we did have another they would have to share a bedroom with whichever gender they are.
We're not in a position to move house and are only at talking stages but would it be selfish or would the children be at a disadvantage for sharing when at the moment they have their own space?
I know lots of people don't have a choice but we do and haven't made that choice yet so would like to hear from people who shared a bedroom and was it a good experience or would you have preferred your own space?
I was a single child and always wished I had a sibling to share with but understand that the reality might be very different.

My 8 year old some times really needs time to be alone in her own space.

That would be tricky - the early years are very hard with different bedtimes, and that will look like a piece of cake compared to the teenager and young children stage. Very difficult on both. Teens need their space and room, would there be anywhere else where they can have friends over, watch screen etc away from a young child?

Then there is the joy of trying to find a family activity becomes near impossible!

I have two have a big age gap - five years - honestly I would never have put them in the same room. They are ten, (eleven soon) and 16 - they get on love each other - but they do really need their space.

Have you a loft?

I hated sharing a room and always felt I had no space or privacy. I would never have dcs knowing that they would have to share a room - I would rather have stopped at 1.

My dc can’t cope at all with sharing. So much so that I’ ve been sleeping in the lounge for a year!

Well I guess that’s one way of making him move out 🤣

I think it would be pretty selfish of you to have a third child in those circumstances. Your children already have a sibling and your living arrangements work well. I doubt it would enhance the life of the one who had to share or the potential future child. Think of the children that already exist rather than your own feelings.
I'm one of three who are pretty close in age and are the same sex and each had our own bedroom, but growing up it was almost always 2 against one, interestingly all three of us stopped at 2 children each, none wanted to have 3.

We have a 12 month old and 2.5yr old, 16 month gap. Baby is still in with me (partner in spare room)

We want the girls to share and keep a spare room. Partly as a bedroom is just for sleep the spare room is big and doubles as play room and nappy change room, with huge wardrobe for lots of household stuff and most of our own clothes (small wardrobe in our smaller room). Plus, spsre room for family to visit.

Neither are ready to share yet, but hopefully in 6 .month's or so. They'll have their own room by the time they are 5 and 7, as we'll either extend to a 4 bed or move by then

I've two DDs and no way they could share. There's 3.5 years between them and in the early years I would find them in each others rooms. But now if one dare to cross the threshold into the other, all hell breaks loose (now 15 and 12). It may be ok in the younger years if baby is same gender as the youngest, but not the eldest - the age gap would be too big.

We are in a 3 bed (2 teens and a pre teen). We are turning our front room into a bedroom (for me and DH). DC will then each have their own room.

There are worse things for a child than sharing a bedroom, but if you are not in a position to move house, will you be in a position to support 3 dc through exams/tutor if needed/a reasonable study space with desk, chair and peace and quiet, driving lessons, and very expensive university years x 3?

Will they be able to have sleep overs with friends when older.

When making your decision think long term.

My dd are 10 and 12. They shared happily til about 7/8. Now they would hate to share. They both love having a private space for them or if a friend is over.

but if everything else in your life is set up for a third child and you’re both keen, I’m not sure that would stop me. Would you be able to move in a couple of years and keep the baby in with you til then?

I think the age gap is the key thing. I shared with my dsis on and off but we were only 15 months apart so always at the same life stage ( one school year apart)

I couldn’t imagine actively choosing a situation whereby a 14 year old would be sharing with a 7 year old. The risk is your 14 yr old feels they lack space and spends a lot of time out of the house which may be ok or may not be depending one what they do and who with- basically risk is you lose visibility vs. if they have space in the home to have friends round etc. They also need proper space to study etc.

id say it’s also dependent on what the rest of the house is like- ie if there’s space for teens to work/chill/game undisturbed after younger siblings go to bed.

I agree that the gap is too wide. A small child in with a sibling going through puberty? No ta.

I shared a bedroom with my younger DB between the ages of roughly 4 and 8. Then I had my own (box) bedroom until I was 12, when I then shared with my younger DSis until I was 16 and then got a large bedroom of my own. DPs extended the house then you see.

As a young child I have little memory of sharing with my DB and by the sounds of things it was fine for both of us.

As a teen I hated sharing a bedroom with my DSis but even as an adult she is Hard Work so I think that's mostly due to her personality than anything else. Still, I coped and wouldn't say I was in any way scarred by the experience or anything ridiculous.

DH shared a bedroom with his older DB basically his entire life until he left home at 19 to move in with me. He always found it fine and was close to his DB and they didn't have much conflict.

I'm pregnant with our third child and we live in a 3 bed and highly unlikely to be able to afford anything bigger so our kids will share once the baby gets booted out of our room, probably around the age of 18m-2yrs. I'm not concerned about it.

Absolutely not. A teenager needs a “room of one’s own”. Sharing is fun for the under 10s but older than that no way. I had a tiny bedroom but I didn’t care - it was mine.

I shared with my younger sister (4 years younger) and generally enjoyed it, but we had a very good relationship. She's always been wacky and creative and my happiest childhood memories are of her making up mad and very funny stories and telling them to me when we were meant to be asleep- our mum says she loved hearing us giggling from downstairs. But I can see that if there's a bigger age gap or they just don't get on/have very different personalities it could be very tricky.

When I was about 12 and wanting a bit more privacy, my dad bought some of those very tall Ikea shelves, screwed them together to make a room partition and nailed pinboards to both sides. Like a sturdy floor-to-ceiling room divider, and we personalised our sides by pinning up posters, pictures etc. Of course that only works in a biggish room but it worked pretty well.