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Parenting

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Original poster

DS doesn’t have a ‘club’

65 replies

padddingtonbear · 27/04/2024 22:18

DS is 26mo. He goes to nursery 3 full days a week. We’ve tried clubs with him (football) but he doesn’t like to listen then just gets annoyed when we try to stop him running around playing and follow the tasks

my gut is he’s young and has a lot of structure at nursery. He’ll find a hobby when he’s older

DH was worried so I asked at his 2 year check with the HV about this. She said nursery provide a lot of structure and tasks, his days off he just wants to spend with us. And also said his personality isn’t fully formed yet he’s only 2

after the appt DH insisted she was wrong (obviously he can never be!) and said “why would they have these clubs for kids his age if the kids aren’t supposed to do them” I mean they may be more beneficial for a child who doesn’t really go to nursery? to socialise etc

but I think he’s expecting a lot as our son does go 3 full days that’s a lot (what we have to do tho :( ) and he’s always just liked to do his own thing and despises getting told what to do as I’m sure most toddlers are like!!

should I be worried we currently can’t consistently take him to a club/activity?

OP posts:

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Motherpro · 27/04/2024 22:20

He's two. Far too young for clubs. My DS is 5 and has only just started joining clubs.

RobinHood19 · 27/04/2024 22:22

The vast majority of 2 year olds in this world don’t do clubs. The vast majority of those children grow up to be perfectly rounded, normal adults despite them never being enrolled in football at 26 months.

The clubs exist because someone thought of a good way to make money, not because they’re an essential part of a 2 year old’s development.

Blessedbethefruitz · 27/04/2024 22:23

Pretty sure that beyond something like swimming, your child does not need to go to a club. My youngest is the same age and the idea of clubs is ridiculous. My older is 5 and the only thing he does is swimming.

Clubs for 2 year olds have got to be largely for the parents, stay at home people, and those who thrive on socialising.

Edit - parents are a great way to make money by making them feel they're not doing enough/buying enough for their kids. The park, the beach, reading, crafts, are all just as good :)

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Behaviour & development Childcare & nursery Families

UniversalTruth · 27/04/2024 22:23

The clubs exist because someone thought of a good way to make money

This 👆

YourSpryWriter · 27/04/2024 22:23

My son started doing a club when he was 2 for an hour a week but he wasn't in nursery. When he started nursery he did two and a half days and he didn't go to a club. Then when he was 4 he started one and this was just before he started school. We opted for a scouts group in the end as it offers lots of different activities. I wouldn't worry till he's older. He will be getting plenty from nursery.

PuttingDownRoots · 27/04/2024 22:24

The main function of these clubs is to make money for the organiser.

Needmorelego · 27/04/2024 22:35

A 2 year old in nursery doesn't need a "club" - nursery is his club !

arethereanyleftatall · 27/04/2024 22:42

Of course he doesn't need a club yet. I might start getting a little bit worried about the type of parent your husband will be though.

Neodymium · 27/04/2024 22:43

I even found swimming before 3 to be a waste of time and money to be honest. My oldest was in swimming from 6 months til past 2 and didn’t learn a thing. After 3 he had 2 weeks with a new teacher and was swimming by the end of it.

WeightoftheWorld · 27/04/2024 22:43

Neither of my two DC would have followed instructions at a club like that at that age. My youngest is 30 months and definitely still wouldn't. Both of mine also went/go to nursery 3 full days a week incidentally.

katepilar · 27/04/2024 22:46

Sounds its your DH who needs a health check.

AwkwardPaws27 · 27/04/2024 22:49

We only do swimming regularly with our 22 month old. Lessons at out local council pool are about £35/moth for a weekly lesson & I do think it's helped with water confidence, but mainly its helped us having a regular commitment to ensure we go every week (too easy to put it off if we just took him in the pool ourselves!).
I don't think he has the attention span for or needs other lessons yet.

Runningbird43 · 27/04/2024 22:49

Mine was the same with football. Just wanted to hare around after the ball while all the little boys stood nicely and did the drills with their dads.

i eventually put her in gymnastics which suited her much better. At that age it’s pretty much free play, and she loved all the climbing, jumping and swinging. The coach would call them over once or twice to walk along the beam with them, but that was it. It gradually progressed to more formal stuff, and she got very good at it :)

as pp have said clubs aren’t essential but dd had so much energy she’d climb the walls at home if we didn’t do something. It tired her out and did teach her physical control.

swimming there’s no point in anything formal until their 5. Take them yourself and teach water confidence- jumping in, floating, going under the water, retrieving toys etc without floatation aids. Lessons when they’re 5z

NuffSaidSam · 27/04/2024 22:51

Your DH is a pillock. Get him to read a book about child development.

In answer to his question re. why do they have these clubs if the kids are too young, it's to make money, to make money off of the back of anxious and naive parents. Just like all the other crap in the world that no-one really needs but can be guilted into buying!

Ratfan24 · 27/04/2024 22:53

I agree with what you said about these clubs being good for kids who don't go to nursery. When dd was little I wasn't keen on toddler groups and preferred to do a structured activity. It's a way of socialising and the activities are normally fun but pretty basic.

PurBal · 27/04/2024 22:58

The clubs exist to make people like your DH feel guilty and pressured into signing them up. I know people with children who do rugbytots, dance and swimming on top of nursery. DS 2.5yo is exhausted after nursery (full time) and all he wants to do is have special time together. Riding his scooter or helping daddy mow the grass are his favourite activities.

SummerHouse · 27/04/2024 23:04

Clubs at 2! I guess if parents and child loves them, fine. By that I mean it really should be enjoyable for you too for full value. I loved watching gymnastics, swimming and football (to a point). But at 2 this was not on my radar at all. I guess some 2 yr olds might enjoy various things but I don't think mine would. I also don't think they would have benefited. They were in nursery 2 days a week and that was plenty for socialising and activities. Agree they exist to make money. But there is also an element of competitiveness. I have noticed this with swimming. Just go swimming. Mine did 6 months each of lessons and that was plenty. They could swim. Thank you and goodbye. Unless they have a particular love of it, it's just money down the drain.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/04/2024 23:12

Oh dear Lord, I thought this was going to be about a teenager.😂

Your DH is wrong. He should listen to your HV (and MN collective wisdom).

RedToothBrush · 27/04/2024 23:13

Christ.

Your kid doesn't need a club.
You need a reality check.

Your child is 26 months old.

The end.

Quartz2208 · 27/04/2024 23:15

I did loads with DD both of us liked being out and about (she still does as a teenager) and it filled our day and gave us both the socialising we needed.
DS hated them, loved being at home (again still does)

the fact that your DH always has to be right and feels like this now is a worrying point for the future though

Deadringer · 27/04/2024 23:16

I think your dh must be a bit thick.

dreadisabaddog · 27/04/2024 23:28

It's already been said. Clubs for money. Leave him be. Fe has a life ahead do develop his own interests and thrive

TTPD · 27/04/2024 23:30

We’ve tried clubs with him (football) but he doesn’t like to listen then just gets annoyed when we try to stop him running around playing and follow the tasks

He's 26 months.
We took DD to a toddler football thing just after she turned 3 - this was just for something to do while I was on maternity leave with DD2. Hardly any of the children were following the specific tasks and that was a group for 3-4 year olds, so quite a bit older than your son. They were mainly just running around like headless chickens. And that was fine, and was what we and the other parents we expecting (apart from one arsehole dad who clearly thought his son was going to be the next David Beckham 🙄)

Babaero · 27/04/2024 23:33

If your dh is worried then why doesn’t he take him to a club?

I personally think it’s good for toddlers to go out and socialise with their parents, so mine would go shopping with me, to restaurants, cafes and the odd club like football , tumble tots and music class. You can’t expect them to concentrate for long at that age and they will run off but over time they do develop some skills, confidence and pride when they receive a badge or certificate.…I think all that is great for their development and something mine looked forward to.

NoTouch · 27/04/2024 23:34

Not necessary, but no harm, at 2, going to a club researched and enrolled in by your dh and with your dh if that is what your dh wants to do to spend quality time with your dc. Especially if it is on a Saturday morning and you get a lie in!

ds, was in nursery and on other days out and about with me, visiting friends/family, going to supermarket, going to park/woods/library etc. They don't need clubs pre-school to develop, learn and keep them entertained, that's what mum and dad are for.

We didn't start ds in any clubs until after Christmas of P1, so around 5-6 years. He was worn out after school for the first few months so it wouldn't have worked for him any earlier.

You will have plenty of years of sitting on the sidelines/poolside/hall chairs/corridor floor waiting for a class to end because there is no point going anywhere else and talking to random parents about the weather! Enjoy the freedom and variety of doing your own things with them while they are still small.

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