DS doesn’t have a ‘club’

[padddingtonbear]

DS is 26mo. He goes to nursery 3 full days a week. We’ve tried clubs with him (football) but he doesn’t like to listen then just gets annoyed when we try to stop him running around playing and follow the tasks

my gut is he’s young and has a lot of structure at nursery. He’ll find a hobby when he’s older

DH was worried so I asked at his 2 year check with the HV about this. She said nursery provide a lot of structure and tasks, his days off he just wants to spend with us. And also said his personality isn’t fully formed yet he’s only 2

after the appt DH insisted she was wrong (obviously he can never be!) and said “why would they have these clubs for kids his age if the kids aren’t supposed to do them” I mean they may be more beneficial for a child who doesn’t really go to nursery? to socialise etc

but I think he’s expecting a lot as our son does go 3 full days that’s a lot (what we have to do tho :( ) and he’s always just liked to do his own thing and despises getting told what to do as I’m sure most toddlers are like!!

should I be worried we currently can’t consistently take him to a club/activity?

Agree!

I remember taking one of my sons to junior football and it was literally just kids running back to their parents, going back to trainer, running back. Chaos! Hilarious now I think about it but hectic doesn’t touch it!!!

Insanity! He is just a baby!

We did mummy and me ballet, DD spent a good amount of time just staring at herself in the dance mirror - and on occasion licking it and she wasn't the only one. She danced until she was 8 realistically those that started at 6 progressed just as fast as those that started at 18 months in the mummy and me sessions.

The groups are more for parents to socialise than anything (and to make the org money) you want a recreational group where you have access to equipment like messy play, tumble tots, parent and toddler groups at gymnastics places but can just follow his lead. Don't expect him to learn any skills though not until closer to 4.

He is two. Generally I see the clubs for two years old for those with older siblings within their provision.

So I had a six year old when my youngest arrived and it was wonderful to have something for his tiny brother to do while his older brother took part in his club.

why would they have these clubs for kids his age if the kids aren’t supposed to do them

Er, because some business person thought it would be a way to extract money from gullible parents, maybe ?

Of course he is too young to follow instructions in an organised lesson / coaching session.

“why would they have these clubs for kids his age if the kids aren’t supposed to do them”

😂😂😂

You don't need to worry about your 26 month old.

You do need to worry about the adult man you are living with.

I remember when DS was two and thinking he should do a 'club'. An absolutely colossal waste of time and money. He's 4.5 now and it is finally starting to seem worthwhile.

Clubs for 2 year olds are about making money and providing a place where mums can meet other mums. (I know that dads exist but these places usually have mums participating )

Your son is normal. By school age I’d expect him to listen to instructions but he’s got a couple of years to go yet.

Clubs for this sort of age are the same deal as clubs for babies- a place for mums to hang out. They contribute to the paranoia that we as mothers should be doing more - there’s loads of posts here where people ask what else should they do with their babies because doing the simple things don’t seem like enough where others seem to be doing more.

He definitely doesn’t need a club, and at only just 2 he’s not going to get much from it.

There is SUCH a massive variety of social abilities aged 2-4. DS did Rugbytots from 3.5, and some kids were focused all the way through, some paid zero attention and spent the lessons either staring into space and twirling, or trying to escape. DS could do about 50% of the class when he started, and spent the rest of the class hiding on my lap feeling shy. It wasn’t until the kids were about 5 that they were all able to follow instructions and play properly.

If you think your child will enjoy it eventually, keep going - he’ll get the hang of the teacher’s expectations and will join in more. It is meant to be fun though - don’t carry on if it isn’t, you can always leave and try again next year with a bit more maturity.

I think hobbies and clubs are more of a primary school thing tbh - definitely not necessary for toddlers.

When mine were that age they just went to Play and Stay sessions at the Children's Centre where they could just wander around and choose what activities to join in.
They stopped when they were three and went to the school nursery.

At that age, as PPs have said, it's more about the parent (usually Mums) getting out of the house and making friends.
Your husband sounds ridiculously pushy.

He's 2! Agree with your HV 3 full days at Nursery is more than enough. DC need time to be at home, relax and be with you. You could always go to playgroup with him on one if your days off.

why would they have these clubs for kids his age if the kids aren’t supposed to do them”

And the answer to that is that some people make money from them. Just because they're there doesn't mean you have to do them or that all DC will benefit.

Your DH could take him to kick a ball about in the park instead. Clubs at two is absolutely bonkers.

we Do a lot on our days off I don’t like to sit in so I make sure we get outdoors once minimum and we do lots of days out and activities! We have zoo/aquarium memberships and go the farm a lot love the beach and parks :)

so we are active and I explained this to DH. Our DS has a bit of a short attention span as he’s only 2 and he’s within normal range but even nursery said he’s one of their more active kids. When they do an activity they know he’ll be one of the first to be done !

dH is being silly and comparing to his nieces/nephews. The eldest is 6 been in dance / swim since 3 and they’ve just put their 2 yo in football so he’s being stupid comparing thinking we should

But they’re all different kids - their 2 year old has a noticeably longer attention span and he’ll sit with an iPad now and then. DS won’t even be enticed with 5 mins of telly! Every kid is different

Your husband needs to learn very quickly to parent the child he has, not the child he wants.

You need to nip his comparisons in the bud now op, they aren't just stupid, they're potentially damaging for your ds who is possibly heading for a life of never feeling good enough for his dad unless your husband starts to learn sone basic obvious parenting skills.

Why don't you take him to an activity that is much more child lead and free play, a wonderful contrast from the structure of nursery. An example might be forest school where he will learn valuable skills, engage in some structured activities but also be encouraged to explore and play more freely.

His attention span should be his age + 2 mins (approximately), so your DS is perfectly normal.

The thing is you can put your child in to X, Y, Z club at 18 months, pay ££££ for the honour but it makes no difference as when children start at the more average age of 5/6 the catch up immediately. If your DH wants to bond with his child then let him take him to rugby or foot ball tots or parent and child swimming or whatever takes his fancy. Tell him it's a great idea and hope the two of them have a great time and you enjoy some Rand R. He may find his age appropriate expectations adjusting when he has some significant solo quality time with him. There is a huge difference between a just turned '2', 2 year old and an almost 3 '2' year old

He's 2!!!!!

At that age structured clubs are really a money spinner for the clubs and actually a bit pointless for the kid.

At 2, especially if they already have structured days at nursery, they need plenty of free play. Take them to run around in parks, beach, etc

Meet up with friends with kids the same age and let them run around together or go to "mums and toddlers" as was now usually called "toddler groups" or parent and child.

These are often in a church hall with different craft and things set out each week but the kids run to where they want to play and maybe a song at the end.

Similarly soft play (if you like that, I didn't) they can play with others.

Actual structured activities rather than free play set ups are generally pointless until 4/5 ime...

Ah yes I did do parent and child swimming with mine as I love swimming But the one I stuck at was so much fun rather than the ridiculous private franchises that are getting you through stages/certificates and lead to comparison between kids.

We had lots of fun rhymes and songs and mainly playing in the water.

The aim should be connection and bonding time bwteen you and your child and fun in the water so that later on water isn't "scary" rather than pre teaching swimming skills ime. Those who start at 5 do just as well...

Just out of interest OP, how many clubs does DH go to and when did his DM start taking him to clubs as a child?

There's sometimes open session at gymnastics where they play on the equipment rather than structured which is good too.

Football 🤣🤣