DS doesn’t have a ‘club’

[padddingtonbear]

DS is 26mo. He goes to nursery 3 full days a week. We’ve tried clubs with him (football) but he doesn’t like to listen then just gets annoyed when we try to stop him running around playing and follow the tasks

my gut is he’s young and has a lot of structure at nursery. He’ll find a hobby when he’s older

DH was worried so I asked at his 2 year check with the HV about this. She said nursery provide a lot of structure and tasks, his days off he just wants to spend with us. And also said his personality isn’t fully formed yet he’s only 2

after the appt DH insisted she was wrong (obviously he can never be!) and said “why would they have these clubs for kids his age if the kids aren’t supposed to do them” I mean they may be more beneficial for a child who doesn’t really go to nursery? to socialise etc

but I think he’s expecting a lot as our son does go 3 full days that’s a lot (what we have to do tho :( ) and he’s always just liked to do his own thing and despises getting told what to do as I’m sure most toddlers are like!!

should I be worried we currently can’t consistently take him to a club/activity?

He told me he didn’t do any as they couldn’t afford it and his mum didn’t drive x

He's TWO! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Your hv is right.

My fb are teens - their main hobbies are based on activities they started at age 7/8,

He told me he didn’t do any as they couldn’t afford it and his mum didn’t drive

And I assume that he thinks that was ok or does he have some deep seated resentment that he was doing Dressage at 2 and is now preparing for the Olympics?

He seriously needs to stop the comparisons. Like another poster had said your DS is going to end up feeling that he's never enough for his DF.

He’s still a baby at 2. My 7yo is the type to do every activity going and did a lot from 3 but I had to remove her from baby ballet as a 2yo as she just wouldn’t engage with it and was terribly behaved compared to the other little girls listening like angels. She was great in swimming at that age though so sometimes it’s about finding the right activity and sometimes they’re just not really ready to engage in stuff that’s a bit more formal.

Clubs for that age are mostly for the parents.

Two year olds really in general aren't able to engage on any sensible level.

They're mostly to get parents and kid out of the house and doing something to break up the day.

If he's in nursery you really don't need clubs. If you want them to get him and you out then do them by all means.

Agree with trying swimming. I'd sign him up for the earliest class you can find on a weekend day and get DH to take him if he's that keen on DS doing a structured activity

Hope you get your husband to read this thread.
Would like to know what his reaction to it will be.

This ☝️

He's only two, I doubt many children of his age belong to clubs. Some never do! I don't remember mine (now well adult), ever belonging to a club of any kind but had friends, interests and hobbies. It's not everybody's 'thing' and certainly not usual for babies. Your son will be fine.

The purpose of clubs at that age is 1) make money 2) allow parents to meet each other 3) childcare- give parents a break for an hour. DD has done many clubs over the years but only really started when she was school age and could get something out of it. Before that there was plenty of activity and socialising at nursery

I don’t like to be one of those people but I’ll definitely be telling DH… told you so!

I don’t say this to him but his brother is also a person who won’t share any of the I’d say real parts of parenting. His kids are perfect they don’t do anything wrong they never are in a bad mood they slept through from 1 week old - type of guy eye roll

but I did also highlight his hobbies when he’s older could be a book club, scouts, chess club, cooking club. Hobbies exist outside of sport

i do also get annoyed about comparison. When we have tried classes he says stuff like “why isn’t he following instructions like the other kids” and he got a right telling off. It’s a bad feature and he has to pack it in

🙄Was supposed to be in there instead of the words eye roll!

Yep we went to one of those - I didn’t count it as a club though, as it was completely unstructured free play. DS did totally love that. And swimming, though he wasn’t great at following instructions at that age and just wanted to play with the pool lane dividers. I do think starting swimming early has meant he has never had any fear of deep water, or of putting his head underwater, but I don’t think it has made him into an Olympic swimmer or anything.

The clubs exist because someone thought of a good way to make money

This

Under 5s definitely do not need any structured clubs.

My children found their passion in secondary school