HELP - Baby will only settle in my arms

[Emerald4567]

Help, Day 5 of my baby boy being in this world and I am finding it very tough.

I can't put him down for more than 10 mins before he decides to cry, but yet when he is in my arms or my Husband's arms he will sleep for hours. This is particularly difficult at night as between having to feed every thirty minutes to an hour and him not settling into his crib as you can imagine there's very little sleep. I feel like I may have the baby blues as I'm extremely tearful and emotional.

Also does anyone know how frequently you should breast feed? My little one seems to want feeding all the time! I'm so exhausted.

Any advice from parents who have been through this before would be super helpful.

Thanks

Have you had the 5 day weigh in midwife visit yet? This sounds so similar to my first 5 days which were so dark - feeding and feeding and feeding but it turned out she wasn’t getting anything much and her weight plummeted when she was weighed and only then did I realise - I just thought this was what breastfeeding was like, cluster feeding as others have said. But it could be low milk production as you suspect - I also couldn’t pump more than 10ml or so which took half an hour at least. Once I realised I started some formula feeding and the relief was enormous - my baby looked satisfied for the first time in her short life and was finally being nourished!

There’s loads of advice and help available on combi feeding and pumping to increase supply. I didn’t do that because I’m on my own and it wouldn’t have been feasible or safe (I was falling asleep with her on the boob out of sheer body-shutting-down exhaustion, I couldn’t add in pumping every 3 hours as well) but it’s definitely possible with support. I primarily bottle feed because my milk just didn’t come in enough, but I still breastfeed a few times a day to give her what I can and as she finds it comforting. Both can absolutely be done!

But yeah… don’t assume this is normal - it is, but it can also mean she’s not getting enough, and although it wasn’t my first choice, I am so thankful for formula.

The only worry should be if your baby doesn't want to feed, you cannot over feed a breast fed baby.
You're in the thick of it now and it's all totally normal.You will sleep again.
For now just feed feed feed that baby. If you can just push through all the difficult and painful bits of breastfeeding and continue and your flow evens out, discomfort halts and you will have the easiest comfort for your baby on tap at all times.
I'm happy to told I'm wrong and hear the expectations but I'm sadly yet to hear a breastfeeding journey that didn't end too soon because formula was introduced when not medically indicated.

Congratulations! The first couple of weeks are sooooo intense - I’m on week 12 now, and it’s so much easier than the start. I was so tired, I could fall asleep sitting upright unaided and in the middle of a text!

I highly recommend getting a lactation consultant out to see you - especially one who knows how to do an oral assessment. I’d also recommend a chiropractor who specialises in babies to see if baby needs some adjustments (94% of babies do!). My DS is doing so much better after we saw both - money so well spent!

Have a cry as and when you need to - it helps to let it all out rather than try and squash it down. It does ease off, but it’s not as quick as the NHS makes out it will be - I mostly cried because I love him so much and I was just so happy.

If you can, take a nap after a big feed - go to a totally different room so baby can’t smell you. If baby sleeps in the car, and you’re comfortable with them being away from you for a little spell, then partner/parent could take them for a little drive or out in the pram. Agree a time so you don’t wake in a panic. When you do get a chance to sleep - take it! Put your phone down/turn off TV (unless it helps you sleep).

To help baby sleep, the Love2Dream Arms Up Swaddle has been amazing - as soon as we zip him into it, he visibly starts to wind down - I think the snug fit across the body is comforting.

If you feel rested enough, but want baby to sleep during the day, I totally recommend a carrier that holds them close to you - I use the Caboo Close, but there’s absolutely loads. A local sling library can help you find one that suits you. My DS won’t sleep during the day unless he’s moving or being held, so he gets strapped to me and I go for a walk (even just around the house!).

Be kind to yourself - it’s not easy, and there’s no shame in saying it’s really tough! X