X accusing me of being an unfit mother for taking DS out in rain

[Dsmama24]

Hi all, looking for some advice. Have a 2 month old ds with x who wasn’t involved at all during the pregnancy (due to his inferdelity but was his choice to go NC, it was an unplanned pregnancy).
I messaged him to inform him of the birth of DS and said he was welcome to meet ds but I would respect his decision if not and would not contact him again. To my surprise he wanted to meet him.
All seemed to be going well regarding visits and he bought him some gifts.

However today following my daily update regarding ds he has accused me of being an unfit mother because I took ds for a walk outdoors in the rainy ‘freezing’ weather (it’s 11 degrees outside). He then proceeded to block me. I had explained ds was well wrapped up with a hat, jacket, fleece blanket and his rain cover on.
Where would you go from here? What concerns me is if he takes me to court then as he is a Dr, would they take his word more being a medical professional? Ive never withheld contact from him.
Thanks in advance :)

How do you get intentionally pregnant without his consent? Did you accident fall upon his erect penis? Steal his sperm whilst he was sleep?

I suspect you had consensual sex and he put his penis in your vagina. Surely, a GP knows that every time he puts his penis in a woman’s vagina there is a risk of preganancy (even with contraception) unless they have reached the menopause!

What a load of crap he's spouting! If you're an "unfit" mother, then I must be too (and pretty much every other mum on the planet). I took both my kids out in all weather when they were babies. I didn't pass my driving test until my eldest was 2 (so before then, I walked/cycled everywhere - with my DC1!). Guess what, my DC survived and are fine. I didn't get hauled off to jail and my kids weren't taken of me. Our GP and HV were not concerned. So please don't worry, you're a fab mum. I would contact the police (start a paper trail) about him showing up uninvited and being verbally abusive towards you (keep hold of the reference number they give you). Let your HV know too. Don't tell your ex what you're doing.

Re: your update. Yes, he can go to Court to apply for PR (and therefore be added to BC) and a CAO (Child Arrangement Order). Whether that is granted or not is another thing. Look at his past history and behaviour. Look at his current behaviour. Have you kept all the text conversations etc over the past few months? Stuff where he dumped you/went NC, etc etc? Keep hold of all of that stuff. In fact, write out a timeline of events/his behaviour, and cross reference it with supporting stuff (any correspondence/emails/texts/etc between you and him). Make a log of calls he makes and if he has been abusive in those calls. If he takes it to Court, you can submit that all as part of a statement as to why this guy shouldn't get PR and contact (there's no such thing as custody - it's called a Child Arrangement Order). The Judge can see exactly what sort of a dick this guy is.

I did it with my kids in the late eighties too. Big silver cross pram outside in the snow

WTAF?! He's a GP?! Oh dear. He must know how babies are made...and the fact that even when on the pill, that isn't always 100% reliable. I'm curious as to why he didn't use a condom, or have a vasectomy or you know, abstain, if he was so vehemently against having a child. I'm assuming you didn't hold a weapon to him to force him to have sex with you. The guy is an idiot!

Hard to believe that a GP could talk such utter bollocks, but there you go.

Why haven't you blocked him?

I have a photo of me and my GP dad sat in a huge rainy puddle on a cold ish day when I was about 8/9 months old. Most GPs I know are quite the opposite of precious. He sounds controlling.

I think you need to speak to Refuge OP (not Women's Aid as lots of people suggest) and unpick some of this. He's abusive and threatening. He's undermining your parenting skills. You then would not need to attend mediation (pointless with men like this). He probably knows he's talking bollocks - he's just clutching at anything he can belittle you with.

Make sure you keep the abusive messages.

He is a dr Twat .. he is spouting constant crap .

if he calms down you can offer to meet him locally in a public place .

Be aware anything you say he is planning to twist - so don’t post in anger - vent on here instead . Write your reply if appropriate - leave it and go back over it later before you send it … although absolutely limit what you tell him . If you tell someone you take your baby to playgroup makes you an unfit mother - then not much you can say that he isn’t going to twist . That is assuming you are unblocked .

its the sort of thing my teen would do not a bloody grown man

Thanks all, another thing he said (didn’t want to out myself too much in previous post ) was that he will team up with my xh (ds1 dad) to make sure he gets full custody. Basically when we were together I stupidly told him that my xh made a false allegation to social services when we split up (they visited and had no concerns). My worry is he’ll try and make a false allegation to them and then I will have two exes who have contacted them and it won’t look good😔

Jesus christ this man is crazy! Unfortunately some men like this who are intelligent think that they're "soooo intelligent" that us mere mortals couldn't possibly question whatever crap they come out with.

He's either a control freak or really resents paying towards the child... or both!

Keep logs of everything, and do not hesitate to call the police. Don't worry about social or anything, I really suspect that's more of his bollox, but worst case social visit and see you're doing just fine. Love how the absent father accuses the mother who does everything of being neglectful though 🙄

Try not to worry about the words of Dr Bollocks, OP 💐

I really doubt he'll bother to go for custody but if he does I hope you have saved all his unhinged texts. Sit down and write a full log of all interactions, texts, etc. while they're still fresh in your mind. Include dates and times.

Don't worry about the ss allegation, false allegations are so common. Get a doorbell camera and if he comes again call the police.

He is a GP.. Great Prick..

Dr Bollocks sounds unhinged in the extreme.

Wonder what his GP surgery/practice would make of his attitude....

😂😂😂

As if he'd get full custody.

He won't even bother taking you to court, let alone fight for "full custody".

Block the fucker.

Just nearly chocked on my ! 

@Dsmama24 please don't worry about SS, you have nothing to hide and it sounds as though you're doing a brilliant job with your LO.

I would think about doing the Freedom Program so that you can try and break the cycle of the men you choose.

I was thinking @Dsmama24 should tell her ex that the child isn’t a soluble aspirin - great minds think alike, @sashagabadon.

That should say near checked in my tea 🤦‍♀️

Thanks all 😊 your replies have cheered me up. Haven’t heard anything from him since.

@CadyEastman good point! I have a civil Co parenting relationship with xh now but I definitely attract the wrong men. I think probably due to being a people pleaser, abandonment issues and low self esteem. After this most recent relationship with dr I’ve given up and have no interest in relationships. Couldn’t put up with being hurt and cheated on yet again 😔

If he is a practicing GP.or Dr, you can file a complaint here
https://www.gmc-uk.org/concerns

You can raise a concern that his behaviour is undermining confidence I the profession more generally. That's a valid concern

Reading this thread I see you have said more than once OP that you are not standing in the way of contact between Ex and baby.
I really don't think allowing an abusive and potentially mentally unwell man , who is a stranger to your child, and wants to cause YOU harm, is a good idea. He is using the baby as a tool to hurt you. Don't allow him to physically have the baby.

Apart from him potentially hurting the baby himself either deliberately or through neglect/ignorance, he could state his has "seen bruises on the baby" and cause you a huge amount of trouble

There is no benefit to your baby in seeing this man.

Report him to the police, then report him to the GMC for his unprofessional behaviour.

Bloody hell, Dr Bollocks is a GP?! I thought GPs had to be intelligent, not bloody unhinged!
Agree with others, stop all the updates (when he decides to unblock you again) and just ignore the idiot.
Also agree with posters who said it used to be very usual to leave babies in their prams outside to sleep. I don't drive, so I'd have never gone out with my two during the winter if they weren't alllowed out in the rain! He's an idiot.

I agree with everyone who is says don't allow this man to have access to your baby. There is no obvious benefit to your baby and lots of potential disbenefits for you both.

If he thinks that taking a child out in the rain is being an unfit mother then I would question where he got his medical licence from.

Also tell his new gf to finish her law degree and qualify before giving legal advice that is quite frankly ridiculous

Can you report her to her university for issuing fake legal advice.

Time to fight back