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Original poster

X accusing me of being an unfit mother for taking DS out in rain

99 replies

Dsmama24 · 22/04/2024 19:49

Hi all, looking for some advice. Have a 2 month old ds with x who wasn’t involved at all during the pregnancy (due to his inferdelity but was his choice to go NC, it was an unplanned pregnancy).
I messaged him to inform him of the birth of DS and said he was welcome to meet ds but I would respect his decision if not and would not contact him again. To my surprise he wanted to meet him.
All seemed to be going well regarding visits and he bought him some gifts.

However today following my daily update regarding ds he has accused me of being an unfit mother because I took ds for a walk outdoors in the rainy ‘freezing’ weather (it’s 11 degrees outside). He then proceeded to block me. I had explained ds was well wrapped up with a hat, jacket, fleece blanket and his rain cover on.
Where would you go from here? What concerns me is if he takes me to court then as he is a Dr, would they take his word more being a medical professional? Ive never withheld contact from him.
Thanks in advance :)

OP posts:
Woohow · 22/04/2024 20:54

Godesstobe · 22/04/2024 20:22

In the 1950s when I was born I used to be left outside in the garden in my Silver Cross pram for naps in all weathers, although I would apparently be moved onto a covered veranda if it was actually raining! My mother assures me that this was normal practice at the time and not some unique form of child abuse of her own devising. As they say, it never did me any harm.
I did not do this with my own DC, although I certainly took them out, appropriately wrapped up, when it was raining. Everyone does OP so please ignore this total drivel from your ex- partner. You are not a bad mother.

They still do it in Nordic countries.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 22/04/2024 20:57

He's a prick. Get onto CMA and get your maintenance sorted. Stop the updates and get on with your life.

LizardOfOz · 22/04/2024 20:59

I hope he's not on the birth certificate

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TheFunHasGone · 22/04/2024 21:03

He's an idiot, just ignore him. How does he think people with more than 1 child manage school runs 🙄

It's an excuse to fall out with you and not bother with his child. Go to the cms and ignore an of his bullshit

LightSpeeds · 22/04/2024 21:25

Dsmama24 · 22/04/2024 20:06

Thanks all for your replies, to clarify he has been the one asking daily how ds is and how his day has been. I’d mentioned I took him to a playgroup hence why he started asking why I had taking him out in rainy weather.

Edited

Just ignore him from now on. He sounds like an ignoramus.

CadyEastman · 22/04/2024 21:29

Just ignore him from now on. He sounds like an ignoramus.

A much underused term and yet so fitting in this context Grin

Anameisaname · 22/04/2024 21:33

I hope you are claiming maintenance from this so called Dr. There's not a judge in the land that would mandate keeping babies inside just if it was a bit cool and raining. Wrapped up warm, there's absolutely zero issue. In scandi countries they recommend leaving babies outside in the cold weather !
Let him take you to court and get laughed out again !

Sunnyday777 · 22/04/2024 21:36

I left both ds’s outside snug in their prams for naps (secure garden) with a rain cover on if it was raining. He’d have a field day with that one. Court would laugh the case out. Sorry for all you parents with winter babies who must hibernate until May…
Stop engaging. If he’s blocked you, fine. Just ignore him.

newtlover · 22/04/2024 21:36

is he really a doctor? have you any evidence of this OP?

WittiestUsernameEver · 22/04/2024 21:38

Block him back and move on with your life..

Best off with out him!

cuckyplunt · 22/04/2024 21:39

Tell him you’re taking your son to a bookies one day, an opium den the next day, parachuting the third day, he’ll soon get bored.

WittiestUsernameEver · 22/04/2024 21:44

Imagine if we could never take babies out of it rained ... We'd be stuck inside all the bloody time 😂

This poor people in 2014 that were housebound with babies for 19 days straight ... (nw3weather.co.uk/wx12.php)

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 22/04/2024 21:46

I hope he pays cms...
You don't need to offer up anything that is messing with your mh or the enjoyment of your ds...

Damnyourheadshoulderskneesandtoes · 23/04/2024 03:43

Are you sure it was him who sent the message and not his partner, who sounds a bit unhinged

BelindaOkra · 23/04/2024 03:50

As my mother always said ‘he won’t rust’. What does he think people with more than one child do?

if he tries to take you to court over taking ab appropriately dressed baby out in the rain he would be laughed at. Hope he isn’t a paediatrician…

stop sending him daily updates, he is abusing your inclusion of him.

LauderSyme · 23/04/2024 03:51

Damnyourheadshoulderskneesandtoes · 23/04/2024 03:43

Are you sure it was him who sent the message and not his partner, who sounds a bit unhinged

What misogynistic bollocks. I'd bet good money the feckless narc twat was lying about being forced to do anything. You should have a think about why you're so keen to buy his crap.

BelindaOkra · 23/04/2024 03:55

Dsmama24 · 22/04/2024 20:29

Thanks all. As many of you said I think he’s looking for an excuse to get out of being involved and to make me look like the unreasonable one as an excuse.

He even admitted at the last visit that the OW had ‘forced’ him to pretend she was pregnant and tell me during my early pregnancy in the hopes I would have an abortion. Stupidly I have still tried remain cordial regarding updates for ds sake.

Bloody hell. Is he allowed near actual people as a doctor. He sounds as if he has a poor understanding of ethical behaviour. Is he paying towards his child?

grinandslothit · 23/04/2024 04:06

I hope he's at least paying child maintenance for the child.

Just block the idiot

Josette77 · 23/04/2024 06:29

Are we sure he's a doctor? Sounds kinda sus.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 23/04/2024 06:36

What an idiot. Doctor? Of what? Nonsense? Babies need to go out in fresh air.

OkImListening · 23/04/2024 06:36

He's blocked you, for now. He's shown his true colours by going NC whilst you were pregnant. I fear he'll try to come in and out of your life as and when it suits him causing you great stress. If I were you, I'd change my number now and hope I never hear from him again.

asbigasablueberry · 23/04/2024 06:41

Make sure he is paying CM. Absolute waste of space, you're better off without OP.

WhiteLeopard · 23/04/2024 06:45

Don't give this a minute's further thought OP. He is not going to take you to court, and if he did they would laugh at him.

Is he paying maintenance?

ontheflighttosingapore · 23/04/2024 06:53

I think his just made a stupid excuse to block you he clearly isn't interested in the baby. Of course baby needs to go out in the fresh air regardless of weather. Just move on with your life

BouleDeSuif · 23/04/2024 07:02

He's talking rubbish. My daughter was born in December and didn't see a warm dry day for months, and we still went out twice a day. Ignore the tosser and enjoy your baby.