X accusing me of being an unfit mother for taking DS out in rain

[Dsmama24]

Hi all, looking for some advice. Have a 2 month old ds with x who wasn’t involved at all during the pregnancy (due to his inferdelity but was his choice to go NC, it was an unplanned pregnancy).
I messaged him to inform him of the birth of DS and said he was welcome to meet ds but I would respect his decision if not and would not contact him again. To my surprise he wanted to meet him.
All seemed to be going well regarding visits and he bought him some gifts.

However today following my daily update regarding ds he has accused me of being an unfit mother because I took ds for a walk outdoors in the rainy ‘freezing’ weather (it’s 11 degrees outside). He then proceeded to block me. I had explained ds was well wrapped up with a hat, jacket, fleece blanket and his rain cover on.
Where would you go from here? What concerns me is if he takes me to court then as he is a Dr, would they take his word more being a medical professional? Ive never withheld contact from him.
Thanks in advance :)

I did that with my autumn-born babies in Yorkshire in the 2000s. No ill effects.

@OP your ex may be a Dr , but he's clearly not a paediatrician, and it doesn't stop him being a manipulative shyster.

Doctor of bollocks just had me spit precious coffee out 🤣

If it wasn't for my trusty rain cover I'd have never done a school run or got what I needed from a supermarket.

The man is a tool;he can hardly accuse you of neglect when he's not really involved in his own kids life.

I hope you've applied for maintenance.

this. He isn't a father, doesn't want to be one, and wouldn't know how to be one.

Is he paying all the CMS payments?

Stop giving him updates, he's just looking for ways to control you

I'd still do the updates though. Just not send them to you useless Ex.

Having a little journal of what you did each day would be a lovely things to look back on

I wouldn’t send updates more than weekly.

What are you supposed to do if it’s fine when you leave the house but starts raining when you’re already out ? 😂
If he bothers bringing that nonsense up again I’d reply “ I’ve not seen anything in any of the baby books about that …. Could you send me the evidence over because I’m keen to read it” and we all know there would be no such evidence. ( because we have so many “ rules” about pregnancy and babies we’d all already know them)

It has rained that much in Yorkshire recently that I would be rarely outdoors if we can't take them out.

@LauderSyme don't get me wrong, I also think he's a cunt, just thinking through scenarios.

Hi all,
Just an update, he unblocked me to send another long message accusing me of being an unfit parent and supposingly trapping him into pregnancy along with some other insults then blocked me . He then turned up unannounced to my flat. I didn’t let him in and told him he is not welcome. He’s started saying hes going to get a court order against me and go for full custody and left. How does it work if he takes me to court? He’s not on BC and I have no problems him having contact with ds but not just turning up uninvited to my flat.
Thanks again for your replies :)

If he’s not on the birth certificate then he doesn’t have parental responsibility. He can go to court to be added to the BC thereby acquiring PR.

No court is going to give him full custody of a newborn.

Not sure of how quickly things are getting to court at the moment, but I doubt it’s weeks and is probably closer to months and months.

There are things he can do if he truly wants to see his child. These things involve a lot of time and effort. Chances are he will get bored, send you the occasional text telling you how awful you are, disappear from your lives for months/years then pitch up again to have sporadic contact before vanishing again. It is in no way predictable and is definitely not what a pathetic number of men do.

Stop worrying about what he’s doing or why. Don’t put yourself out for him. He is absolutely not allowed at your flat if you don’t want him there. If he comes round again and won’t leave you call the police.

He sounds a bit unhinged. Don’t let him into your flat, don’t meet him, and don’t let anyone else involved in childcare meet him with the baby either. And do call police if he keeps turning up trying to get in.

and keep the text accusing you of trapping him into pregnancy!

If he comes round call the police

I also think you should stop letting him see the baby without it being decided by a court - you know he could just keep him ? And it would be a nightmare to get him back

Let him let rip to a judge... More likely he gets locked up with his attitude than custody.. Dodgy footing even getting any access with his presumed behaviour when he loses his cool.

Give a man enough rope op. He can apply to court for the dna tests which he will have to pay for. Then a judge will open a case...

Keep all messages and download them as evidence of his attitude.

He's talking shit. Went NC whilst you were pregnant and now allegedly wants full custody because you took your baby outside? 🙄no chance. Probably he's more pissed off at having to pay for the child which he helped create. Make sure you're getting payments from him! And if he turns up uninvited ever again, call the police.

I agree with pp that say he must be a doctor of bollocks.

Honestly I'd let him take you to Court. He has absolutely zero chance of getting full custody.

The first thing the Court will ask is "is the child at risk". I can just imagine what they'll say when his only evidence is that you went out, dressed appropriately, in a normal Spring Day.

Like others have said, keep all messages for evidence

Call the Police of he turns up and won't leave, definitely don't let him in.

And make sure you apply for CMS.

100% a doctor of bollocks.

He is threatening a custody claim because he’s worried that you’re going to pursue him for child maintenance, and he thinks he won’t have to pay if he gets custody/shared care.

The man’s a waste of a skin. Stop engaging with him, and call the police if he turns up near you again.

Oh dear god. What an idiot he is. Dare I ask what speciality he is? I'm guessing something surgical...

Thanks all :)
He was also saying according to OW (now his x) who’s a law student ‘lawyer’ that I’ve committed a crime intentionally getting pregnant without his consent as according to him I must have stopped taking the pill. For the record I continued to take it despite him persistently asking me to come off it and finishing inside me every time.

If he were to apply to take me to court and we had to do the mandatory mediation first, if I made it clear to the mediator I wasn’t withholding contact just not at my home following his behaviour, would it still go to court?

@nocoolnamesleft a GP! 😫

What a bloody hypocrite! The word he should be looking for is 'thank you'. 'Thank you for your forgiveness, even though I have been a total deadbeat.' Are you sure that he is a GP? Make sure you claim CM if you aren't already.

Keep evidence of all contact and a diary of incidents like this one. If he visits again call the police. If he requests mediation, explain to the mediator that he is abusive. Block him on everything. If he tries to contact you again, supply him with an email address made solely for contact about DS. Check it once a week.

You are not a bad parent. He has taken so little interest in his child that he doesn't know how to care for him, that's all.

Bloody hell, I am shocked. I wasn't expecting Dr Bollocks to be a GP. You'd hope he'd at least know some basics about appropriate care of infants and children. I pity his patients. However, no way is this asshole going to get full residency of that young a baby. Keep the texts showing how reasonable you're being in offering planned access. And definitely claim for maintenance!