14 mo I feel like such a failure

[cheesepleasegromit]

I love my 14 mo so much and he's so brilliant but he wakes multiple times in the night, sometimes will only settle with milk still and half the time chucks all his food on the floor. I know you shouldn't compare but my friends with the same age kids tell me they sleep through the night, they never have milk at night, they eat lovely family roasts together etc etc. and it's making me feel like I'm doing something wrong and failing him somehow.

I have had some bad experiences with the HVs so don't feel I can call them for advice so don't know what to do. I would really appreciate any advice!

My DD is refusing cows milk so we still have her on formula, but just keep a stash of the ready made ones in the nursery. Take a few clean bottles up each night and it’s a 10 second job.

My DD is 20 months I use formula at bedtime- she’s not a great eater so toddler formula gives her nutrients, then cows milk if needed at night but I only heat in the microwave for 20sec to take the chill out only as it’s faster than the prep machine in the middle of the night

Thing is, you get the baby you get! Others can make it seem like oh if I just tried harder/was better at this parenting thing/find the right information, my baby will also sleep all night and eat 3 meals including veg/fruit every day! But it's not true, they are little people just like we are and are all so different from each other. Mine is 19m and it's 50/50 if we get a sleep through or if we are up for water and a cuddle. He will chomp through a bowl of pasta or potatoes but like a previous poster, only eats veg and meat if heavily disguised!

I tell myself- will he be doing this at 18? Invariably, no. So I try and not let it bother me (with varying degrees of success!).

I've come off tiktok/insta etc and have slightly distanced myself from NCT since going back to work, as I found that wasn't helping with the comparisons I was making.