Big boobs breastfeeding nightmare

[Hungus93]

I'm a mum to a beautiful three and a half week old baby girl, and currently EBF her. We've had quite a rough ride with breastfeeding to begin with as she wouldn't latch, I tried to get some support from midwives in the hospital after giving birth but didn't, however something seems to have clicked and we're doing it. It still is a nightmare though. I have really big boobs (40H), which are nowhere near being perky and have massive nipples /aureola and just can't get her to latch properly, so our feeds take a bloody long time. She's gaining weight beautifully and produces plenty of wet/dirty nappies, so looks like my supply is good enough but I'm so so tired and frustrated! Feel like giving up. I even went to see a lactation consultant and she seems to have given me some tips but they don't always work. My little one doesn't seem to want to open her mouth wide enough. Any tips? How do I not give up!

Thanks so much - I will try with the dummy, although she wasn't so keen on it yesterday, I will also try with expressing so my partner can give her expressed milk rather than the formula but tonight formula it is in afraid, as I need my sleep! I also don't want to jinx it but since the morning meltdown post, she only woke up twice for feeds, fed for about 20 mins only (breast) and went back to sleep straight away... 👀

Nipple sheilds helped us

I am not surprised your baby is sleeping much better now- her cycle of overtiredness was broken so now she is feeding when hungry, not hungry AND overtired. Definitely use the formula tonight, your mental health is important. I would persevere with a dummy even though I expect uour daughter will be spitting them out at the beginning- she will know it's not the real thing. Saying this dummies are better than formula top ups. Chances are when your baby is finally crying it will be a cry of hunger, not other issues that bothering her (dummy won't solve hunger feelings but will help with overtiredness). I suggest you express 1 hour after the 1st morning feed- this is the time women's breasts are usually fullest. I hope it helps

Personally, the evening 8pm-midnight is when babies usually clusterfeed, and when your prolactin is higher to boost your supply. They suck the most, but those night feeds are most important. Would you consider partner setting you up super comfy, lots of snacks, water etc with a box set and he goes to bed while you cluster feed, then he does night shift/takes baby in morning so you can sleep in?

I added a dummy before 6 weeks, same brand as the bottle I planned on using if expressed any. Helped loads.

I'd advise personally not setting a strict time. You'll end up clock watching and getting tense and stressed about it. If you're overwhelmed, whether it's been 20 min, 40 or 60, give baby to partner plus dummy and take 5. Go to bathroom, eat something, have a drink, go back and see if settled on partner or wants to continue feed. Try to take as much pressure off as possible.

What worked for us was I fed until 10pm when his cluster feeding naturally abated a bit, DH kept him until about 2am. I'd feed, he'd settle baby into crib, I'd be 'on duty' if baby woke until 8/9am, then DH would take over for a couple hours to give me a bit of extra sleep.

My sister couldn't do the multiple swapping and was happy for a bottle to be given by her DH so she did 8pm - 3am, then swapped with her DH who did 3am - 10am.

Night feeds are very important. However prolactin levels are highest between midnight and 6 am. OP has a very reasonable plan, it should work.

Dummy has been great for us. When DS just starts comfort sucking at the end, I swap him for the dummy and he’s happy with that. Stops him slipping off and his latch hurting so much. I make sure to swap him over so he gets milk from both sides and a full tummy.

If you read my second bit you'll see what I meant was babies often cluster feed around 8pm so 8pm- midnight would miss out on that supply boosting big cluster feeding stretch thats important, which is why i pushed the same plan back 2 hours where DH would take baby at 10 very full post cluster feed, so he slept a good 3/4 hours on him then he bought to me to feed when he next woke up at around 2am. No need for bottle. Then I fed during night and he took over again so I could sleep in in the morning. So i would get solid sleep 10pm-2am and say 8am-10am with broken sleep between depending on feeds.

Try the 'flipple' technique whilst holding your breast in a c shape (videos on YouTube) I have big boobs as well and at week 3 it was agony to feed but someone recommended that to me and it worked for us,

Well done for getting as far as you have op, it's so incredibly hard.

I had a similar experience to you and nearly gave up so many times. We did the same plan as yours and my dp gave formula between 8pm and midnight while I slept. It worked really well for us and now means baby will happily take bottle or boob, unlike some ebf babies I know. I would have preferred not to use formula but I didn't have the time to also pump when my baby fed non-stop around the clock.

The fact your baby settled after formula doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your boobs. Mine used to do exactly the same and it also had me questioning everything. I think it's just an easier source of milk at this age.

I felt exactly the same as you in terms of going out and feeding sessions taking forever etc. They suddenly get a lot shorter though and everything becomes so much easier. I can't believe it now because it was hell at the time but I actually miss long feeds these days as they mean sitting down for a good while and not having to think up ways to entertain the baby!

Thank you! I'm guessing you're up for a feed too? 😅
We did as planned tonight and I'm a much happier mama today. I think we'll need to stick to 8pm-midnight though as my partner works from 7.30am everyday, so I want him to get a decent chunk of sleep as well. It's funny though, how having a decentish chunk of sleep in one go can make you feel like a whole new different person! I may not do this thing everyday but I think if we can do this pen at least a few times a week then I'm going to be in a much better place mentally and then hopefully we will sort the things that cause her not to latch that well soon. Also she will turn 4 weeks in exactly 40 minutes so I'm hoping we're just a few weeks away from things starting to get a tiny bit easier on their own.

I am very pleased for you. A few hours of uninterrupted sleep can make a huge difference as you have discovered.

@Hungus93 yes I was up for a feed! Sadly at nearly 6 months my baby still doesn't sleep for very long so my dp still does evenings when I need a break. It makes such a difference, I don't know how I would have survived otherwise. So glad it's helped you to feel a bit better.

OP I am similarly large of nork, and I found the best position for feeding was the ‘rugby ball’.

Google it - images of ‘the hold’ come up. A pillow is good for them to lie on to get them into place.

Made everything 100x easier.