Nearly 4yo not toilet trained

[Jen657]

Getting stressed as my nearly 4 year old daughter isn't toilet trained.

She prefers the toilet to the potty which is fine by me. We've made some progress and she will sit on it and often do something (with a small treat as a bribe) and a sticker for her reward chart.

This weekend we've tried to crack it. Do far today I've tried to let her tell us she needs to go but so far all 4 wees have been in her pants!

Do we persevere?

Is she not ready? She'll be 4 in July, she was late walking so maybe she's on the late side with this.

Stop asking her. Take her to the toilet every 30mins to start with. She has to learn to recognise he feeling of needing a wee with enough time to get to a toilet. You don't need to wait for her to be ready, you have to actively teach her, at neatly 4 she is capable of doing this.

We followed oh crap so bare bum as knickers can feel like a nappy.

She is really old to only just be starting potty training so it will likely be harder

What have you tried? Does she show any awareness of needing to go? I mean, is she hopping and clutching herself but refusing to go, or is she looking surprised to find herself wet? Does she hide herself away for poos? What is her language like? Does she understand what you expect of her? Have you read books like Pirate Pete’s Potty with her or similar?

Sorry for the barrage of questions but basically, do you think it is physical or behavioural?

What worked for us with a reluctant-to-train 3 year old (who was also late to walk, actually) was naked from the waist down and plonk on small plastic toilet (more comfortable than a potty as higher up for a taller child and we didn’t have a downstairs loo at the time) whenever he showed any sign of needing to go. Bribes of chocolate buttons/Smarties if anything landed in there rather than on the sofa 😬. For us, he got about 80% of the way there in 2 weeks.