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Original poster

Daughters friends Dad had a go at my daughter!

76 replies

paulfoel · 05/04/2024 16:43

Daughter 10 has a friend who, to be honest, is a complete nightmare. Shes the fun one in the school which I think is why our daughter is friends with her but this other girl manages to get into trouble all the time and upset everyone in the class.

Normally I stay out of it to be honest. Her parents are those who think their daughter can do no wrong. I'm from a council estate myself (so I'm allowed to say this!) but to be honest they are not nice. The Dad has been in lots of trouble with the law.....

Anyway, yet another falling out. But they were all going to the park today with one of the parents, and I was dropping my daughter there. Out of the blue, both this girls parents show up and the Dad "wants a word with my your daughter".

I told him nope mate you're not doing that. So I had a conversation with him and yeh I told him I'd be the first to discipline my daughter if she did anything. Then I had "yeh mate sure, of course Im not going to speak to your daughter I'd be mad if someone did that to mine". Twice. 100% sure.

So I had to go, the girls had gone off.

Turns out he waited for me to go, gave money to 2 of them not involved to go over the shop, and decided to "have a word" with 3 of them anyway inc my my daughter.

So mad. Wife has not had a massive argument with the mother who denies this and said he didn't speak to our daughter like that. This girls mother has now turned up on our driveway and it all got a bit out of hand to be honest.

Really annoyed that even after promising me this guy has decided he had to have his say and lecture my daughter without me being there.......

What would you do?

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Dartmoorcheffy · 05/04/2024 16:46

Depends what he was saying to then really.

Diamond007D · 05/04/2024 16:49

Not be associated with this kind of drama basically

rwalker · 05/04/2024 16:49

To much info missing to give an opinion

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TraitorsGate · 05/04/2024 16:51

What did he speak to them about

WarshipRocinante · 05/04/2024 16:52

What did he say to them? I’ve had words with my kids’ friends when they’ve needed it.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 05/04/2024 16:52

What actually was said and in what manner? What was the original issue?

BettyShagter · 05/04/2024 16:53

What I would do is make my post a bit clearer and explain what he said and why.

But then again if the girls mother was on my driveway, I wouldn't be whiling away my time on MN anyway.

WhatNoRaisins · 05/04/2024 16:54

It's not necessarily fair but I'd be encouraging my DC to keep well away from anyone whose parents behave like that.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 05/04/2024 16:55

He’s been in trouble with the law, he’s not very nice and he gives money to children so they’ll do what he says.

Why do you let him near your children? Red flags everywhere.

liveforsummer · 05/04/2024 16:56

Why did you leave your child with them?

Daffodilsarentfluffy · 05/04/2024 16:57

New friends... And never get into any sort of text /verbal discussion with them.. Once had a dm at my door to play hell with dd for dumping her ds.. Poor lad was sat in the car.. She told me she was a black belt in karate. I told her to fuck off my doorstep and shut the door... They were in year 7...

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 05/04/2024 16:59

She wasn’t 1-1 with him (if I understand correctly 3) and didn’t get the other 2 involved (gave them $ to go away for a bit).
depending on the issue certainly could be worse.
but what was the issue and how’s your daughter with this?

Duckingella · 05/04/2024 17:02

I also grew up on a council estate;I don't know what he wanted to talk to your DD about but you and I both know there's absolutely no reasoning with people like him and his wife;they are and always will be abit feral.

Dacadactyl · 05/04/2024 17:40

What?!

You've given no info. What did he say?

Hollyhock4 · 05/04/2024 17:48

This reminded me of a time when daughter's friend's father came to my house asking to have a word with my daughter. They were about 8 or 9 at the time. I told him No way. He could speak to me.

Orangeandgold · 05/04/2024 18:38

What did your daughter supposedly do?

I grew up in a time where you would tell off a group of children, even if one was just guilty by association. Then you would bring the kids to their parents and have a word with the parents.

These days we leave the “punishment” to parents.

It sounds like this guy isn’t that nice though. So I’d probably stay away and tell my daughter to do the same if I don’t want to be associated with a family.

Like others have said - there isn’t enough info in your post to advice at all!

Scarletttulips · 05/04/2024 18:40

I’d tell DD to stay away and not play with this girl.

They are off to high school soon, and she could do with being free to make new friends.

Chitterlina · 05/04/2024 19:27

Wasn’t your cleaner’s other half was it? 🙄😂

Original poster
paulfoel · 05/04/2024 22:26

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 05/04/2024 16:55

He’s been in trouble with the law, he’s not very nice and he gives money to children so they’ll do what he says.

Why do you let him near your children? Red flags everywhere.

I don't. He showed up unexpectedly when my daughter and his were going to the park with another friends mum.

OP posts:
Original poster
paulfoel · 05/04/2024 22:26

liveforsummer · 05/04/2024 16:56

Why did you leave your child with them?

We don't EVER

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Original poster
paulfoel · 05/04/2024 22:26

Scarletttulips · 05/04/2024 18:40

I’d tell DD to stay away and not play with this girl.

They are off to high school soon, and she could do with being free to make new friends.

oh yes fingers crossed

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Original poster
paulfoel · 05/04/2024 22:32

What the girls argue about I try not to get involved in. I've just told my daughter to behave properly and I hope she does.

This other girls parents had an issue that their daughter was being blamed for everything. Personally, I think she is a lot to blame but, as above, as long as my daughters own behaviour towards others is fine, its up to them to sort out.

This was all sorted yet he waited till I'd gone, decided he was going to have a word, lined them up and lectured them about how they were treating them. Sorry not on.

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Original poster
paulfoel · 05/04/2024 22:34

Dacadactyl · 05/04/2024 17:40

What?!

You've given no info. What did he say?

Lectured them about how he thought they should be treating his daughter. My daughter is really upset now.

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 05/04/2024 22:34

What did he say to them? Why, when you clearly don't like or trust him did you leave your child alone anyway near him? You must have known that something like this was probably on the cards!

It doesn't make sense and too much information is missing.

Original poster
paulfoel · 05/04/2024 22:34

BettyShagter · 05/04/2024 16:53

What I would do is make my post a bit clearer and explain what he said and why.

But then again if the girls mother was on my driveway, I wouldn't be whiling away my time on MN anyway.

eh? obviously not there when I wrote that

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