Daughters friends Dad had a go at my daughter!

[paulfoel]

Daughter 10 has a friend who, to be honest, is a complete nightmare. Shes the fun one in the school which I think is why our daughter is friends with her but this other girl manages to get into trouble all the time and upset everyone in the class.

Normally I stay out of it to be honest. Her parents are those who think their daughter can do no wrong. I'm from a council estate myself (so I'm allowed to say this!) but to be honest they are not nice. The Dad has been in lots of trouble with the law.....

Anyway, yet another falling out. But they were all going to the park today with one of the parents, and I was dropping my daughter there. Out of the blue, both this girls parents show up and the Dad "wants a word with my your daughter".

I told him nope mate you're not doing that. So I had a conversation with him and yeh I told him I'd be the first to discipline my daughter if she did anything. Then I had "yeh mate sure, of course Im not going to speak to your daughter I'd be mad if someone did that to mine". Twice. 100% sure.

So I had to go, the girls had gone off.

Turns out he waited for me to go, gave money to 2 of them not involved to go over the shop, and decided to "have a word" with 3 of them anyway inc my my daughter.

So mad. Wife has not had a massive argument with the mother who denies this and said he didn't speak to our daughter like that. This girls mother has now turned up on our driveway and it all got a bit out of hand to be honest.

Really annoyed that even after promising me this guy has decided he had to have his say and lecture my daughter without me being there.......

What would you do?

Didn't even know he was going to be there. This was something arranged for me to drop off my daughter with another parent.
I thought this other girl (her dad) wasnt going so it was news to me that they all showed up like this.

Getting threats now. Hes "going to get make us sort or face the consequences".
Silly sod has put all this in text messages. Not clever at all.

He is a right nutter though - hes well known in the area. Never spoken to him before only the mum - whos ok to be honest.

Tempted to call the police but not totally sure I trust them to deal with it. And it could escalate things even worse.

It sounds like a story in Take a Break.

Keep the texts and screenshot them.

Block him.

Give school a heads up when they go back so they are aware.

No longer have your kid mix with their kid out of school.

Hope they go to different senior schools.

What the girls argue about I try not to get involved in. I've just told my daughter to behave properly and I hope she does.

If the argument has escalated to the point another parent is raising an issue, then you need to get involved to find out if you dd did behave properly, then advise and support her, instead of just stepping back and hoping for the best.

Also why leave your child in the presence of someone you say you have significant concerns about and you know has an issue with her?

Time to stop posturing and actually proactively parent.

Is your DD treating his in a manner that would warrant parental intervention though?

I would call the police.
I did when a school mum was screaming at my dd in the park.
dd arrived home early and very quiet. 5 minutes later another parent who had witnessed it came and knocked on my door to let me know that this parent had been screaming in dds face.

I called police and they had a word.
We had had a lot of ongoing stuff with this parent, and the police having a word put an end to it.

To clarify, I did not leave my daugher in his care. She was going to the park with another kids parents. This other girl and her parents turned up when I dropped her off. We had a discussion and he said no way would he speak to my daughter.

Wish I'd stayed now but he doubled back and did it anyway.

I've spoken to my daughter. Pretty sure its nothing more than just silly girls stuff..... Theres been a long history with this particular friend whos parents believe ever word she says. Been trying to get daughter away from her for a while.....

Already sorted for separate classes in senior school. Had that discussion months ago with her school.

Only problem is the guy really is the local psycho. The type who knows the police won't do much and he can get away with things.

Not sure I trust them to do much until he actually does something and I end up in hospital!

I'd probably tell him I had sorted it as requested, and they girls wouldn't be playing together anymore. But this might just make things worse if this doesn't please the Dad, so maybe ignore me?

If he assaults you he'll be arrested.

hope so - not sure if I want to find out first though!

We used to get these types of parents at school in the My Child never would.

Finny when they go to high school they pretty much get excluded before Christmas.

Do wonder if the parents ever reflect on their own parenting.

I feel sorry for this child. In my experience kids start to avoid those with over involved parents without them being psychos as well. Parents need to know when to butt out of their kids business.

Looks like as he has upset your daughter that the friendship may end anyway

"If you could please ask X to stay away from DD and play with other friends, I have asked DD to do them same and this should sort the issue. Thanks."

What would you do?

Given what you seem to know about him I wouldn't have left my Daughter at the park on her own when he was around.

Well someone has come around and put all our windows in now..... great.

Presume you’ll be going to the police?

This is hellish for you. At least it makes it easier for you to keep your daughter away from the child

Exactly. Stay away from crazy

Mmmmm , and coming to MN was your first thought ?

Hmmmmm.

Sounds like everyone needs to grow up a bit. Kids and parents.