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Original poster

Daughters friends Dad had a go at my daughter!

76 replies

paulfoel · 05/04/2024 16:43

Daughter 10 has a friend who, to be honest, is a complete nightmare. Shes the fun one in the school which I think is why our daughter is friends with her but this other girl manages to get into trouble all the time and upset everyone in the class.

Normally I stay out of it to be honest. Her parents are those who think their daughter can do no wrong. I'm from a council estate myself (so I'm allowed to say this!) but to be honest they are not nice. The Dad has been in lots of trouble with the law.....

Anyway, yet another falling out. But they were all going to the park today with one of the parents, and I was dropping my daughter there. Out of the blue, both this girls parents show up and the Dad "wants a word with my your daughter".

I told him nope mate you're not doing that. So I had a conversation with him and yeh I told him I'd be the first to discipline my daughter if she did anything. Then I had "yeh mate sure, of course Im not going to speak to your daughter I'd be mad if someone did that to mine". Twice. 100% sure.

So I had to go, the girls had gone off.

Turns out he waited for me to go, gave money to 2 of them not involved to go over the shop, and decided to "have a word" with 3 of them anyway inc my my daughter.

So mad. Wife has not had a massive argument with the mother who denies this and said he didn't speak to our daughter like that. This girls mother has now turned up on our driveway and it all got a bit out of hand to be honest.

Really annoyed that even after promising me this guy has decided he had to have his say and lecture my daughter without me being there.......

What would you do?

OP posts:
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TheShellBeach · 07/04/2024 15:35

paulfoel · 07/04/2024 15:14

Well someone has come around and put all our windows in now..... great.

You must've called the police?

Original poster
paulfoel · 07/04/2024 15:54

Yep. Neghbours had done that anyway. Got him on camera either him or his mate but hes got gloves on motorbike helmet balaclava. No way to tell.

Im waiting for the police now. Obvious worry is this guy is a nutter. Seems he knows how to avoid things. Just looking at the text messages I saved and hes been semi-threatening but I think clever in how hes worded it.

I dont want the police going around there having a word because he wont care. Especially if he knows they cant pin it on him. Next thing he'll either be back again to do it again or it'll be me getting the hammer treatment.

OP posts:
TinkerTiger · 07/04/2024 16:30

paulfoel · 07/04/2024 15:14

Well someone has come around and put all our windows in now..... great.

Wow things are escalating so quickly aren't they, slow Sunday?

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100%

Forhecksake · 07/04/2024 17:12

That's bizarre behaviour. He's upset that his daughter gets blamed for things, so he has a go at the two kids who can be bothered to hang out with her? And then escalates with the parents?

I'm perplexed as to how he thinks it's all going to improve his daughter's situation. At this rate nobody will come near her with a barge pole

Scarletttulips · 07/04/2024 17:19

Forhecksake

No OPs problem that the father is a Neanderthal.

Her only option is to protect her DD from this man and of that means telling her DD to stay away then that’s the only option.

Forhecksake · 07/04/2024 17:43

Scarletttulips · 07/04/2024 17:19

Forhecksake

No OPs problem that the father is a Neanderthal.

Her only option is to protect her DD from this man and of that means telling her DD to stay away then that’s the only option.

Oh, I agree totally. OP can't risk letting her daughter spend time with his anymore.

His lack of impulse control is going to leave his child with no friends.

MissingMoominMamma · 07/04/2024 17:47

paulfoel · 05/04/2024 22:26

I don't. He showed up unexpectedly when my daughter and his were going to the park with another friends mum.

Show quote history

What did the other friend’s mum do?

Original poster
paulfoel · 07/04/2024 18:00

Forhecksake · 07/04/2024 17:12

That's bizarre behaviour. He's upset that his daughter gets blamed for things, so he has a go at the two kids who can be bothered to hang out with her? And then escalates with the parents?

I'm perplexed as to how he thinks it's all going to improve his daughter's situation. At this rate nobody will come near her with a barge pole

Mrs did have a blazing row with the mother but thats it. It got heated and mand mrs said a few things.

Nightmare family or what?

OP posts:
Original poster
paulfoel · 07/04/2024 18:01

Forhecksake · 07/04/2024 17:43

Oh, I agree totally. OP can't risk letting her daughter spend time with his anymore.

His lack of impulse control is going to leave his child with no friends.

Show quote history

10 years old and its going that way already. Which is why I'm keen to get my daughter away from her before high school.

OP posts:
Original poster
paulfoel · 07/04/2024 18:01

MissingMoominMamma · 07/04/2024 17:47

What did the other friend’s mum do?

Show quote history

Nothing at all apparently.... Nuts or what

OP posts:
ontheflighttosingapore · 07/04/2024 18:02

Post does not make sense tbh

DriftingDora · 07/04/2024 18:14

Haven't got a clue what the OP is saying, because no information's been given about what the other parent said or the context to it.

PS: he's 'a right nutter' and 'well known in the area' (for what?). So why is your daughter spending time with his child?

DriftingDora · 07/04/2024 18:19

TinkerTiger · 07/04/2024 16:30

Wow things are escalating so quickly aren't they, slow Sunday?

Show quote history

Think I saw the film, Brad Pitt was in it.

Back to school tomorrow.

Original poster
paulfoel · 08/04/2024 09:08

Balloonhearts · 07/04/2024 15:26

Sounds like everyone needs to grow up a bit. Kids and parents.

"Everyone" ?

OP posts:
Original poster
paulfoel · 08/04/2024 09:10

Well thanks police service, called them midday to tell them a nutter had turned up at my doorstep with an axe. Not a dickey bird from the police until 1230 last night... Completely useless.

Won't be persuing that one since they don't appear to take it seriously.

OP posts:
viques · 08/04/2024 11:43

I think you need to try harder OP, maybe substitute flame thrower for the hammer, Molotov cocktails for the axe and throw in a couple of chainsaws. Hth.

WhatNoRaisins · 08/04/2024 12:34

Get him on a talk show and hit him with a folding chair.

TheShellBeach · 08/04/2024 14:40

It's a pity Jeremy Kyle isn't on anymore.

Original poster
paulfoel · 08/04/2024 14:47

Some people on this thread should be ashamed of themselves.....

OP posts:
Original poster
paulfoel · 09/04/2024 10:48

Regardless of who was wrong or how it all started because of what happened I want it to end now. Not heard anything since the initial thing on Sunday.

I'm up for contacting the guy and saying look whatever it is I'll apologize just to get this ended. The police aint gonna help me at all it seems.

Wife although she is now very scared too thinks if we even contact him again it might inflame things again and its best to lay low and hope its all done. I'm not so sure.

Anyone else got experience of people like this? Its not my world so I have no idea how this guy is thinking now. Is he happy now hes done what hes done and got away with it? I just worry its the beginning and its the lull before the storm and onto phase 2 unless we apologise.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 09/04/2024 12:08

Why aren't the police pursuing this? It's clearly a case of criminal damage.

Original poster
paulfoel · 09/04/2024 12:19

TheShellBeach · 09/04/2024 12:08

Why aren't the police pursuing this? It's clearly a case of criminal damage.

Phoned them 12pm sunday. Told them I was concerned nutter might come back. Not a peep till they're knocking my door at 1am. Great service....
Given up on that one.

OP posts:
DriftingDora · 09/04/2024 16:06

paulfoel · 09/04/2024 12:19

Phoned them 12pm sunday. Told them I was concerned nutter might come back. Not a peep till they're knocking my door at 1am. Great service....
Given up on that one.

Show quote history

If this is genuine, a couple of things....

  1. why did you permit your daughter to spend time with the other child, if you knew her father was 'a right nutter'? (Your words, so you clearly knew he was dubious and apart from any other consideration, your daughter shouldn't be exposed to someone like this). Wasn't a good idea really, was it?

  2. why would you be sitting back and accepting it if the police don't attend? Why aren't you ringing them, putting in an email/written complaint to Chief Constable, emailing/writing to your MP? You say you have evidence through messages the father has sent - well, use them. And if you're still considering apologising to the man in an effort to end it, you do realise this will likely be the excuse the police need to ignore the incident completely or record it as though you've admitted you were in the wrong?