Toddler cries hysterically when he sees certain people

[greekislandsparty]

I have a 22 mth old who is lively, happy and clever. Really intuitive. On 2 occasions now when we’ve gone round for family events he becomes hysterical when my sister and brother are around. He’s not much of a crier and is good with people but he has been tentative with both of them since he started understanding people but recently it’s hysterical crying. I’ve had to leave on both occasions as he holds in to me for dear life like he’s scared out of his wits.

It doesn’t help that we are not on the best terms anyway but I don’t know what to make of this.

When we got home, he called out both their names like he wanted to see them again but when I said let’s go, he jumped on me and wrapped his arms around my neck frightened.

They’ve never been alone with him to harm him. How do I handle this please? Anyone else experience this with particular people? What do I make of it?

Does he see them often?y DS is same age and he is the same especially with my MIL, he's always been like that with her and he screams and screams around her. But he doesn't see her often so I often wondered if it was slimy because he doesn't recognize her. Could it be th issue here? Could your DS just have a "stranger danger?

Toddlers are strange creatures sometimes. Do either of them have beards/tattoos/unusual piercings/glasses or anything else that might be frightening to your son?

My ds was like this with my sister.
He grew out of it by 2 1/2.

I think he's picking up that you're not on the best terms and can sense the atmosphere

My dd was like this with a dear friend of ours. We worked out that it was his beard. And he actually shaved it off!

Apparently I was like this with my dad. Turned out it was his moustache and glasses. I just didn't like them. Poor man had to squint when changing my nappy etc until I grew out of it when I was a toddler!

They could just have some facial features that he doesn't particularly like.

@CurlewKate yep we had this with just one chap from our village. No one else

Only person they'd ever met with a moustache

Stopped as soon as he shaved 🤷‍♀️

no he doesn’t see either of them too often in person. 3 times this year so far. Regularly face times or sends/receives videos to my sister but then in person he’s absolutely not having it. Hadn’t seen my brother since Jan. No beards or tattoos or anything that would be considered frightening to look at

Neither of them have anything like that lol

Neither of them have a beard lol

I thought about this and honestly it’s so fascinating if he is but how on earth would that make him so hysterical when he sees them? It’s like on 10.

He’s very intuitive so o do think he picks up on a lot of things behind his age and understanding and perhaps can’t make sense of it all

None at all. It’s so upsetting to me. I’m trying to stay regulated. He didn’t stop crying until I said ok let’s go home. He was so happy.

They are SMART and they are primed to pick up on their parents emotions. If you feel anxious, they feel anxious etc.

I really think it could be that.

Very well could be. I really can’t say that I was anxious but now I don’t even know

My Ds used to be like this with my mum's sister because she looked a bit like my mum but wasn't 'quite right' and he found that really confusing. Could that be it?

my friends toddler took a hideous dislike to me when his mum gave me a lift once and it persisted for awhile, screaming his head off in terror every time i looked at him. i obviously went for minimal interaction with him until he was over it poor kid! He grew out of it after a while and is the only kid to be terrified of my face 😁 so I don't think it was that I have especially toddler terrifying features to blame! could just be a random fad of his if there's no other explanation

My kid was like this with one particular mum we used to see on the school run or at weekly swimming. Age 1-18m the worst, she'd cry and cry at the sight of her and just want to bury her head in my shoulder/ be all shy. Slowly outgrew it and now she's 2 is completely fine. She's a lovely, friendly normal woman and I still to this day don't understand!

They outgrow it eventually op x

My dd was like this with my sister at the age of 8m. I think because our voices are very alike and she did t understand why my voice was coming out of someone else’s mouth

My eldest was like this with a few people. All nice, friendly people who he's now close to. He grew out of between about 2 1/2 - 3.

As a pp said the child might see them as looking like you but a bit wrong. I have a definite memory of this with my dad and uncle when I was little and I remember my niece being a bit weirded out if me and my sister were in the same room when she was small.

I was like this with one of my Aunties. My Dads eldest sister, she'd had 4 boys and I was the first girl in the family. I think she was just a bit much! She was as I got older, but I grew close to her & loved her loads. Just took time.

Toddlers are weird. They grow out of it.

Our friend’s DD was like this with my DP for months! It was his beard 😂 she’s now 2.5 and he’s the number one guest at her play tea parties, so she got over it. 😁

Thanks all for your reassurance. I have read every one and it’s helpful to know these things just happen sometimes. I hope he grows out of it soon. I can only imagine the terror he must feel and will just try to stay regulated for him