Police Welfare check normal?

[DottyDitsyMum]

Hi,
Apologies and warning this is long!
I wonder if anyone can help with experience/ knowledge about police welfare checks on children.
Last night, at just after 8pm, we had police turn up at our door and demand to see the children. I was in the bath at the time and my husband answered the door. He wasn't allowed to explain to the children what was happening and the pair of them (one male, one female) just went straight up to the kids bedrooms to check on them.
Once they had spoken to each child, they came down to speak to us (I got out of bath - husband had actually been asked if I was definitely in there!).
We were told it was just a routine welfare check, requested by social services, because someone had reported concerns.
They checked our kitchen for food and interrogated us a bit about why we home educate (we have done for past 16 years, are known to LA and never had any issues at all, with older children having grown up, left home and working now). They had read our files from a few years ago, when SS were involved for a whole different story, that was resolved. I was told that it was likely SS will follow up on visit, but that they were "happy enough for now".
Kids were understandably upset and confused.
When I asked if it had been a serious concern raised, due to the urgency of the visit, they said no - "this was normal procedure."
Initially we thought this was our neighbour, who is a major busy-body, and reports anyone for everything possible. She complained to council about some bits of wood and rubbish in front garden, that was waiting to go to the dump, but had to wait a couple of days because husband had injured back. Our poor next door neighbour has constant issues with her reporting things.
However, we'd just had a sainsbury delivery only 40 minutes before police arrived. The driver had been nosing around at the door - our hall and stairs look a state at the moment, due to being mid renovation. We can't remember exactly if he was doing it at the time, but often my 15 year old is very loud when gaming online and shouts things like "No!" "Get away from me!" "Don't kill me!" And just screaming!
My husband anxiety is through the roof, and kids are really upset by it all, due to previous issues with SS. Both would be eased by having a better understanding of what happened, and whether this is neighbours latest vendetta!
Is it really likely that this was routine request from SS? Or do you think that delivery driver called police with concerns?
On one hand, I understand totally the need to check on kids. But the negative attitude towards us home edding and the way they spoke to my husband (who's autistic and was just really struggling to comprehend what was happening at the time) was disturbing. Whole household feeling very confused, violated and vulnerable today 😔

But then you read about high profile cases and a lot of those children were in school and abuse wasn’t spotted so it’s not the case that school is always the protective factor people assume it is

@Rosesatapicnic, there's a hell of a better chance that abuse is spotted if a child is at school, where they are seen by multiple adults each day, than at home where they may rarely see another adult.

That's why there needs to be robust safeguarding around parents HEing their kids. It can be an excuse for all kinds of things, from neglect to something more nefarious.

The parents might prefer HT, but is it always in their dc's best interests?

They just need to make the home visits compulsory and more than once a year. I don’t have an issue with that but majority of home educators do and are allowed to decline

Your son’s behaviour was bizarre. That’s not usual or to be encouraged. The whole set up sounds odd. I’m not surprised the police came round.

Why do you allow a 15 year old who should know better to scream and shout like this over a game? He would be told in no uncertain terms that he is losing the privilege if he can't control himself. You did say 15 not 5? If he has Sen he probably shouldn't be playing that sort of game is it even age appropriate?

Hilarious how people rattle on about home ed and the worry of kids not being seen. My children were exposed to endless safeguarding risks in school (when they used to go) and are far safer and happier now in the home Ed community.

Mine nearly
got removed due to the lies from so called professionals!!! Imagine the damage that would have done to SEN/unwell
childrem to be ripped from a living family 😔

*loving

Sounds like it was most likely to have been the delivery driver hearing your son shouting, especially if he seemed to be looking on to try and find out what was going on, don’t think it was your messy doorway! Think you need to explain this to your son

OP, ignore all the holier than thou posters. Bunch of sanctimonious twits with their 'ooooh, I'd shut my teenager down sharpish!'.

Your kid's a gamer, he gets over-excited and shouts. Wow, big big deal. I know plenty of gamers (not one myself) and all of them do this. It's not 'unusual', ffs. Completely normal and not 'horrible' in any way, talk about dramatic.

As for 'safeguarding in schools', yea, kids do need safeguarding. From their teachers. One was arrested in my DD's school last year for child molesting and having all sorts on his PC. Damn safeguarders. All they know is to bitch and whine about their job and that's about it. There were plenty, PLENTY of instances in recent press of kids coming to school bruised black and blue or otherwise hurt, like that girl whose father and stepmother killed her and ran to Pakistan - and so what did the teachers do? Fuck all, that's what.

How would these parents react if a school refused to be inspected by Ofsted?? What qualifications do most parents have to teach anything? Do they have degrees in the subjects they will need to teach for GCSE? It's madness.

They should not be allowed to decline. What do they have to hide?

Exactly and I’ve been booted off fb groups for admitting I fully comply with the HE officer !! Apparently I’m making their lives harder

Almost certainly someone reported you. I know it's distressing, but surely it's better that this happens sometimes to innocent families than children die? Like that poor two year old who starved to death over Christmas. The system is never going to be perfect.

This would make me nervous as well, but the best thing to do in those circumstances is just be friendly and open with the police and show them around, this way they will bugger off after 5 minutes.

That’s awful, I’m sorry, @DottyDitsyMum. I can see why the visit would be worrying. It’s obviously a different situation if malicious allegations that have happened before. In a sense, the gaming and shouting might have been a bit of a red herring in a sense in the OP, as really it’s more concern this might again be malicious. I really hope there’s some clarity soon.

I think it’s difficult as there’s little to do unless and until you hear from social services if you don’t know the allegation made.

Try to remember if it’s not true, whatever happens it’s highly unlikely to go all the way. It sucks - as you know - because they have to investigate and that can mean a lot of disruption for your family. However, all you can do is be honest and demonstrate your children are happy and well-looked after and that you parent well.

Most HE children do have other siblings who attend school and attend exactly the same groups and activities after school hours as school educated children. In fact most HE children are out and about a lot more in the day as they spend less time studying at home. People in my street always saw my youngest who was HE as a young teen, a lot more than my eldest who attended school.
People who have never HE are not familiar with the reality of it, (not including shit show of covid) they seem to prefer their own warped version because that version suits them better.

Why do people think home ed is more of a red flag than being on maternity leave or a SAHM with a young child?

I think they only do these when someone has called in a concern.

We had the police randomly turn up once for a welfare check on our child. Our 5 yr old was eating fishfingers and watching in the night garden. Me and my DH were tidying the kitchen and making our dinner. They literally took one look at our child, and us, and said 'we've got no concerns here'. I asked why they had come and they said that the NSPCC had put in a referral to our address as someone had said we were an asian couple and we were keeping our child locked in a room, not feeding them and not putting on any heating or paying any bills.

We weren't asian. We were clearly feeding our child and the house was warm and cosy. It was a call from a neighbour suffering psychosis we later believed.

Anyway - nothing to worry about unless your child/children are in any kind of unsafe situation.

I'm glad they follow up on these things.

It’s purely because there are a number of cases that pretend to home educate when really hiding children from authorities. It’s not a red flag in itself, but it’s the kind of thing that needs investigating further. Obviously good home education often means lots of people will see your child, but the flag pops up when that’s not the case because authorities immediately think ‘If this child was starving/bruised/needed another adult to tell, they wouldn’t have someone there to notice’. Some leaves do end up being investigated when other issues come up, but often the fact someone is on leave tends to mean they’re going back and things would have to deteriorate very fast for something to go unnoticed. Children are often seen (or were in the past) at maternity appointments or health visits for those on maternity leave and SAHM. It’s not that HE done properly is concerning, it’s literally just someone can technically claim to HE and keep a child at home for years, potentially declining health appointments as they ‘don’t believe in medical intervention’ (again, can be a viewpoint used as a way to evade rather than their actual view) and - in some cases - there can be very serious issues that go unseen.

In lots of these cases, parents literally don’t submit paperwork and are only verbally claiming HE, so it tends to be something that police and SS ask questions about and double-check.
https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2020/jan/29/child-cruelty-case-triggers-call-for-home-schooling-review

It’s not the only thing that’s heavily questioned and the majority of real HE families would be shown to be very involved parents who’ve chosen the best route for their child. It’s a tiny number of parents who often lie that have to caught out to protect children, but that tiny number means questions have to be asked.

very odd to throw in almost absentmindedly the fact that SS have been extensively involved in investigating your family before this incident op

Can you link to the cases ? The only ones I’ve heard of in recent years were a poor boy who was starved (Daniel pelka) and another teen boy who was beaten (I’m afraid I can’t remember his name?) , I did hear of a case during lockdown of another child but that was lockdown not home education. ?

I mean the only ones I’ve heard of were children who WERE in school and nobody saw any signs

So it's normal and it is called for.

You have a as record which ups the risk, your sons yells would have also caused concern and god forbid your children were actually being abused you should be thankful for the swift response

Also suicidal behaviour also massively ups
The risk -
As there are a lot of dv murder suicides or the perpetrator threatens suicide as a control method

Please though I am not implying you are a risk to the children nor your husband but trying to give the context it will be seen in