I am 35 and due second baby. Am I an old mum?

[funkmonke]

I had my first baby at 25 and now pregnant again, due in a couple of months.

I feel old though! Am I old or was I just very young to have the first child ?

Well not compared to me, I was 37 when I had my first 😂

What’s concerning you about it OP?

Not at all. I don't know anyone who had their first baby before their early 30s

That I will be ‘too old’, my child will be embarrassed of me.

I won’t be able to relate or keep up with him in the same way I do with my 1st

Socially no. Medically yes.

The schools are full of children with older parents. Stuffed with them. And all parents are 'old' to children so you'll be fine.

Odd post. You must have a decent guess that lots of women on here would have been over 35 when they had a baby.
Seems thoughtless at best.

So medically I am ‘old’ then? I knew it. 😂

Sorry yes. Geriatric pregnancy. 35 and above. Horrified me too

I hope not, I plan on having a second when I'm 34/35 (gave birth to first at 31). 25 was quite young (not too young). Since the average age for a first time mum is now 31, I wouldn't say 35 is old for a second. My mum had me 33 years ago when she was 35 (I was their 3rd).

Not on here, no.

Advanced maternal age is the medical term.

I would honestly try not to feed into this perception of being an old mum. I think mums have enough on their plate and enough guilt without adding old to it. You cannot change your age.

Bear in mind there are lots of first time mums at this sort of age as well.

If it makes you feel better, I never felt like this with my mum and dad. 35 and 37 when they had me, their third child. I never realised they were 'older' (I don't think they were in all honesty!). I actually think it was a pro to have older than average parents - they had more money to give me a good childhood, we had great holidays and experiences. That's how I feel with my own too, I can afford kids now. In my 20s, I would have had to be a lot more careful with spending.

Do you live in an area where all the mums were very young when they had their babies?

Round here you wouldn't be considered an older mum. I had DD at 41 and have friends who had DC in their mid to late 30s.

Same here.... I had my surprise youngest at 44 and had many older mothers at the baby groups where I live

I’m afraid so. Anything over 35 is classed as a geriatric pregnancy.

Medically yes, socially and culturally no.

No, I'd say 35 was average these days and 25 is young.

Yes I agree with this.

Its certainly not unusual to have a child at 35 though. Most of my 'parent friends' or parents of children at my DC school & nursery had their first children at around about that age. We started younger but have spaced them out so will have been young-ish parents for DC1 and less so for DC3 as will both be 30 when they're born. Probably won't have any more after that though and that is partly due to age.

I only know one who had a bsbyy in her 20s! Her next didn't come along til 12 years later.
I had my first at 41, a friend at 46 and another at 45. You certainly are not oled!

I’d say it largely depends on the local demographics where you live. Where I live you definitely wouldn’t stand out at all. I’m expecting my third at 41 and even I don’t feel that old here. The hospital I’m at are very used to over 40s.

I had my daughter at 35 and we were the second oldest parents in my daughter's year at primary school. Almost all of our friends had their children in their late teens or early or mid 20s, and I was definitely classed as an older mother by my hospital. But that was several years ago, and times have changed. I don't think your second child will feel embarrassed of you or won't be able to relate to you because of your age - it's far more a question of your outlook. I can think of many much younger parents whose children really did find them embarrassing, but that was because of their attitudes and behaviour.

No lovely. Not having your second at 35. If you had been 10 years older now, my answer would have been different. Has someone said something to make you feel like this @funkmonke ?

Oh and 25 isn't too young to have a baby - when you had your first...

These threads always turn into 'you must live in a deprived area OP (with a little virtual head tilt) in the very affluent area where I live no one even thinks of getting pregnant until they're at least 40'

In the real world, 35 is not old enough to raise eyebrows but it is clearly towards the older end of the scale and you're likely to feel the impact a bit more than your previous pregnancies.

I wouldn’t say 25 is particularly young to have a child. Nor is 35 old to have one, particularly these days. I had my first at 32, we plan on TTC next year when I’ll be 35 (so would be at least 36 when having second child).

I'm 36 and 36 weeks pregnant, had my 1st 5 years ago at 31.

As everyone else said medically your considered old over 35 but I don't think it's old in other aspects!