I am 35 and due second baby. Am I an old mum?

[funkmonke]

I had my first baby at 25 and now pregnant again, due in a couple of months.

I feel old though! Am I old or was I just very young to have the first child ?

My nan had her first at 23 and her fifth baby at 44
My mum has her first at 23 and her 3rd at 34.
My NCT group with my first was between ages of 29-39. I would say you are boringly average! 😁

'In the real world of statistics, the higher the socio-economic occupation of the mother, the later the first birth is likely to be. Life is messy and there's a lot of variation. But it's a very consistent finding.'

I'm not disputing that, but that still doesn't make parents having a baby in their late thirties/early forties 'young.' Is 35 quite old to have a baby? The truthful answer is yeah it is a bit, but loads of people do it. Just because Penelope has a baby at 42, it doesn't make Persephone a young mum at 38.

If the trend were the other way around, and the more affluent families were having babies younger, and families living in deprived areas had children as late as possible you can bet your life that people having children post 35 would be absolutely vilified on here for intentionally waiting when we know that the risk to mum and baby are higher with older pregnancies.

I was surprised to be classified as old with DC4 (born shortly after my 36th birthday).

I don't feel old compared to other mums at school. Don't think my age embarasses my children, but my lack of dress sense probably does.

I do feel physically a bit older though. My skin hasn't gone back as well as it used to! So although I'm only slightly heavier I do have a bit of an unappealing silhouette from the side when undressed. My muscles also are all recovering more slowly (4 months since birth).

So i don't think it'll make a difference to DC. My mum had me at 35 and I felt she was older than most mum's at pick up but I didn't care. I think the average has shifted a bit now anyway. But physically yes, I think 10 years does make a difference to how you bounce back.

Physically and medically, yes. Socially,
no. You are a very normal age.

In what world is 35 an old mum?

@bradpittsbathwater well in the medical world, for one...

The world of biology

In areas where people have their kids in their early 20s. And medically 35 is geriatric.

This is an out of date term. You will get no special treatment and nothing will be done differently with you than any other mum.

No one in your medical team will bat an eyelid at your age.

You'll find most other mothers of young children you encounter will be about your age.

Every child has different needs and every mother is a different person from the one she was when she had her previous child. If you did a good job with your first child, you'll be just fine with your second.

It's always a shock to the system when a baby arrives, with all the sleepless nights, etc. The only advice I'd give you is to prepare very well - freeze dinners ahead of time and don't run out of household staples like loo paper, etc, and make sure your older child gets care and attention too.

Geriatric mother is not used in medical terms anymore, it's very outdated. I had my first at 35 and no one mentioned anything.

Yes, I think it’s called advanced maternal age or something. But it’s the same thing. You are an old mum at 35. It’s just true. I know it’s hard to think of ageing sometimes, but it happens whether we like it or not.

The average age of a first time mum in this country is 32, which would be much higher if we took out from the average the immigrant communities who have children young. But yes, there has been a big shift since our parents’ generation and nobody bats an eyelid about a new mum even in her 40s.