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Parenting

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Original poster

So until what age, when walking along, do they have to...

15 replies

emkana · 25/03/2008 22:47

... hold your hand?
... walk next to you as opposed to ahead of you or behind you?

I walk to school with this other mum sometimes and she has a real fit when her nearly five year old runs ahead a bit and not right next to her. I'm far more relaxed about it, maybe too relaxed? But both dd's will always stop reliably before crossing the road, so don't really see much of a problem?

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FAQ · 25/03/2008 22:48

think it depends on the child TBH........

misdee · 25/03/2008 22:50

some days dd2 (5) willwalk the whole way home holding my hand, which is lovely. other days, she will run ahead with dd1 (8). dd3 (3) has to hold my hand or be on reigns.

ingles2 · 25/03/2008 22:50

and the parent...

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CarGirl · 25/03/2008 22:50

yep completely depends on child!

SlightlyMadSweet · 25/03/2008 22:52

A friend has a bare;y 2yo who is allowed to walk 10+m iin front or behind .

I think they should hold hands until they are competent to stay away from the road and close to you reliably. Depends on the child but about 3 maybe?

Should stay with you until until they start school?

The rule with DTDs for the last 2yrs ish (they are just about 7) is that they can walk ahead as long as they are within view. They have designated stopping points before we go around corners (i.e. out of view) or 2-3m before the road crossing (so they are no-where near the road edge).

We do pull them in a bit closer when we have had attempted abductions reported in the county.

fingerwoman · 25/03/2008 23:01

ds1 is 3 and I don't make him hold my hand, in fact, I haven't for a long time but I keep a close eye on him and he isn't really a runner-offer, he's pretty cautious.
he always holds hands crossing roads, and I do make him either hold my hand or sit in the buggy if we're anywhere that's particularly busy

OverMyDeadBody · 25/03/2008 23:01

I'd say it depends on the situation too. On routine walks in pedestrian areas where DS knew where we where going I didn't make him hold my hand at 2yrs, but would near busy streets etc.

When he went through his dashing off phase at 3 the rules changed and he had to hold my hand all the time.

Now, at 5, I'm probably as relaxed as you emkana, DS doesn't stray far, usually follows behind me, and is street-wise. I like it when he wants to hold my hand though!

lindenlass · 26/03/2008 16:05

Totally depends on the child IMO. My two (nearly 5 and 3) have been walking along pavements ahead of me for ages now, so I guess from 2.5y for my younger DD. But I know my children and I know they're good at roads. I always remind them to stop at corners and they always do. I wouldn't be happy with someone else's child doing that, though, as you don't know how capable other children are or what they're used to! They have to hold hands or the buggy when crossing roads and when it's busy and if we're walking along a fast road and they're really good about doing that - I guess because they know I only ask them to do it when it's really important that they do IYSWIM.

Wheelybug · 26/03/2008 16:12

DD (3.2) walks (or scoots) ahead of me a bit or behind - probably has done for about 6 months (since starting pre-school). She has, as well as can be expected at that age, a good road sense but has she has walked out of the buggy virtually since she learned to walk (a hatred of buggies) so I think has picked this up beacause of this.

I do worry about drive ways though... and am frequently shrieking at her to look at driveways...

whirly · 26/03/2008 20:08

We binned DS buggy when he was 2.5yrs, so DD also had to walk (4yrs, but loved buggy board!) He wouldn't hold my hand much and as he learned to ride a 2 wheeler bike a week after his 3rd birthday, HORRIFIED all the locals by riding way ahead of me. And we live in a very traffic-busy area. But, he always (like his big sis) stopped at roads to wait for me to say if it was safe to cross.
Now (aged 7) he gets really upset if my hand is not free to hold all the way to and from school!!!

fivecandles · 27/03/2008 07:41

Can't remember how old my dcs were. Dd1 was out of pushchair at 2 when her sister was born and then went on buggy board or pushed her sister's pram.

Now they are 6 and 4 we have strict rules about dcs stopping at every curb and not going round corners. They are very good at stopping at curbs and reaching for our hands to cross the road.

fryalot · 27/03/2008 07:48

dd2 was allowed to run on ahead from a quite early age because we always trusted her to stop immediately when we asked her to, or come and hold hands as we'd reached a more dangerous bit of the road

ds on the other hand is only just beginning to learn this, and generally just runs off, so has been out without his reins about twice - both times we were in a pedestrianised precinct type thing.

It really depends on the child, on the situation and the dangers on that particular route.

PortAndLemon · 27/03/2008 07:53

Depends on the child and the road. DS is 3.2 but hasn't been routinely holding hands for... umm... ages, really. He would probably have been one of those two-year-olds shocking SlightlyMadSweet . Our rules are that he MUST hold hands when crossing a road and he MUST stop before he gets to a road. He also mustn't go too far ahead, but how far is "too far" depends on the road. On quiet residential streets I let him go a fair distance away but on busier streets he needs to stay next to / right in front of me. If it's a very busy street then he will need to hold hands the whole way, and if he does start being silly then he needs to hold hands the whole way too.

He doesn't run into roads and is very punctilious about stopping (and doesn't like holding hands), so it works for us. We'll need to see what works with DC2 when the time comes.

bozza · 27/03/2008 08:50

DD is 3. On the journey to school she is allowed to run off, along our bit of the cul-de-sac, along the main cul-de-sac, up the estate road (probably about 100m in total) but then has to stop behind the line (there is a line where the pavement has been dug up) and wait for me. The estate road has a very wide pavement but I don't like her getting too close to the main road hence the line. Then we cross with the lollipop and she has to hold my hand to cross the other road by school because it is busy with Mums parking and pulling out etc and pavements are narrow. Then we have to walk 3/4 way round school and she can run off again. And she has DS with her.

If we are going to collect and it is just me and her, she walks along nicely holding my hand.

bozza · 27/03/2008 08:52

Just saying don't go too close to the main road didn't seem to work. But the line seems more definite than that.

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