Bloody hell! He is three, it’s a bit early to consign yourself to the dump for crappy parenting. You have to wait until he’s at least five before they’ll even consider you!
Three year olds can be horrid! Between eighteen months and three were the absolute pits of parenting for me. However, all things can be fixed, and I highly doubt in ten years time he’ll even remember this.
Things I can recommend, make yourself a list of things that are ‘no no’s’ for you behaviour wise. Then decide on a consequence, we did the naughty step. However, different things work for different children.
Once you choose a consequence, stick to it. Even if you feel like it’s not hitting home with your child. Consistency in parenting and consequences is key here. If you say something you have to do it, if you tell them they won’t get a pudding or whatever for bad behaviour you need to follow through on it.
Also, let’s not forget he is three, at this stage consequences have to be immediate and doable. There’s no point in telling them they won’t get a treat that’s three days off, they won’t remember it. My friend carried a small mat around in her nappy bag, it was the equivalent of the naughty step and whenever her child needed a consequence she’d be sat on the mat (even in public).
Focus on one thing at a time for behaviour change, and tell yourself that you’re more stubborn than he is.
I hated being shouty, hated it! So I read a book called playful parenting, I used to try and redirect with some things. Other things, like a tantrum in the supermarket, I’d just wait for him to finish with a blank look on my face and then carry on.
Obviously these are all situation dependent. But I was a hot mess when my kids were younger, and this is what helped me manage things a bit.
I think if nothing else, be consistent, realistic and follow through.
Solidarity friend! The days of not following him around soft play are coming.