5 year old son is very girly

[overmummy2701]

Hi,

My 5 year old son is very girly. He has a lot of girl friends, some boy friends, but mainly plays with girls.

He's constantly acting like a little girl and it upsets me, as I'm worried about the future he may face.

Is this just a phase? Can he tell whether he wants to be a girl now?

I ask him now if he is a boy or girl and he always tells me he's a boy and loves girls, but I'm just concerned.

Please - no judgement.

I was a tomboy, preferred boys toys, sports was really rough and tumble. My mother despaired at my torn mucky clothes, scuffed shoes. She never thought anything of it.

My grandson used to love make up, jewellery, princess dresses, girls dolls. He appears to have outgrown it but still has more girlfriends than boyfriends. He's a natural class clown entertainer to one and all.

It's all fine

Are you looking for replies to head over to reddit with.....hoping to show the unhinged Mumsnet gender critical pearl clutchers in all their 'Terfy' glory.......

Half term alert.

Exactly. Which is preferable, a boy being allowed to enjoy pink stuff, or a boy being given harmful drugs which lead to hormones & very likely to genital surgery to make him resemble a girl?

This was my DS. Loved dolls, dressing up, all his best friends were girls.

he’s now 21, happily gay, singing and dancing his way through a musical theatre and professional dance degree

i am happy and proud that I was not judgemental and allowed no others to pass judgement or be narrow minded about his choices.

I feel sad for any mother that thinks such a way about their child. What exactly are you so concerned about??

Exactly. Completely bonkers.

I say that one reason we have so many "men wanting to be women, and vice versa" and all the attendant problems, much discussed on MN, is precisely because of boys being expected to behave one way, and girls another. The grass is always greener on the other side: little boys feel that they miss out on girl things, and vice versa, so they feel curious about what "the other side" is like. Hence, when they are older, wanting to be the other. I think that if we didn't have such rigid stereotypes about boys and girls, far fewer people would say "I was born in the wrong body".

If children could just be children, and didn't have to conform to one stereotype or the other, neither side would feel that they were missing out on anything. Let boys plays with dolls, let girls play with trains. Let boys do ballet, let girls play football. Let them satisfy their curiosity at a young age.

I ask him now if he is a boy or girl and he always tells me he's a boy and loves girls, but I'm just concerned

He is a boy. You don’t need to be asking he if he’s a boy or a girl. He likes what he likes, so I’d let him get on with doing these things.

i know we just want the most straightforward lives ahead for our children but if you can just go with whatever he enjoys doing, with the friends he most enjoys playing with, that would be the best thing for DS and you. I would avoid any suggestion that he is different in some way. Don’t try get him to define himself as male/female. He likes what he likes as we all do.

If I had been your DD you may well have had similar thoughts. I preferred to play with boys, loathed dolls, wore my DBs out grown jeans and jumpers. I loved helping my DF with DIY, watching wrestling and formula 1 on tv and hated being made to wear skirts and dresses. I had short hair and was often mistaken for a boy (which delighted me). As an adult I have mainly women friends, but a few males. I’m straight, love make up, choosing perfume, shopping, interior design. I was called a tomboy as a child but my parents never asked me if I was a boy or a girl. I was just allowed to do the stuff I enjoyed. Let him be 5.

You don't need to ask him whether he's a boy or a girl. If he has a penis, he's a boy and I'm sure you know that!

His sexual orientation won't be changed through your stupid questions. All you'll achieve is teaching him to hide it.

Accept him as he is, and he will accept himself. If you don't, then YOU are creating his future problems

I’m sure you can use the powers of deduction 🙂

He is just acting like himself...

It is sad that in 2024 people still want kids to conform to stereotypes rather than develop their own personality.

You should be concerned about your kid being happy and help build his confidence, not expect to behave in what you see as being 'boyish'.

Really, don't inflict your paranoia about gender on him...

So, I see that after 12 hours since my post got deleted (for simply calling this thread out for what it is), we're still yet to hear back from the original poster. What a surprise

No thanks 😊

Only read some of these comments. Op obviously wants what is best for her child and this mumsnet community is becoming toxic some of you need to realize that there is a person at the back of these posts and one that’s looking for help not hateful comments. Smh 🤦🏼‍♀️

also op me and my brother always played dolls and he grew up to be like any other boy try not to worry he’ll grow up to be the perfect version of himself ❤️

Nope just someone with different views and cba to be drawn into tedious debates 😊