5 year old son is very girly

[overmummy2701]

Hi,

My 5 year old son is very girly. He has a lot of girl friends, some boy friends, but mainly plays with girls.

He's constantly acting like a little girl and it upsets me, as I'm worried about the future he may face.

Is this just a phase? Can he tell whether he wants to be a girl now?

I ask him now if he is a boy or girl and he always tells me he's a boy and loves girls, but I'm just concerned.

Please - no judgement.

I get it op.

I would try to reframe things. So if he wanted to do something “girly” I’d gently turn his attention to something more boyish.

Don’t fret it could be just a phase but I’d always encourage more boyish activities and encourage interests where he can be around other boys. Maybe art classes etc?

I wouldn’t say things like “pink is for girls” etc. Or “that’s girly” etc. not saying you have, but just saying that I find that comments like that cause confusion. Just pivot his interest

Why would you need to "pivot his interest"? Why wouldn't you let him like what he likes?

Don't feed it 🧌

My son's favourite colour is pink. I didn't let him have things in pink. He loved jewellery, female company, typically girls events at school. I have a lovely photo of him at 3 using a tellytubby TV as a handbag, wearing beads around his neck with his hand on his hip.

He is gay. He went to girls sleepover parties, did drama and had a fabulous time (also got beaten up for being gay a few times).

I deeply regret not letting him have a pink room and pink things. It's just a colour and he still loves it.

Let him be.

My young teen boy wore a pink tutu and dresses at age 2. In fact, wore a pink tutu to his third birthday party.

At age 7, he loved pushing his dolls pram around and played Mums and Dad's with his sister.

He loved cuddling his baby cousin aged 9. Couldn't wait to have a cuddle when she was born and push her around in her pram.

Most of his friends are girls.

He would absolutely cringe now at the thought of doing any of those things. He's mortified when he sees pictures of him doing those things. Has very male dominated hobbies now too.

Just let your lad be himself. Let him play with what he wants, dress as he wants and be friends with whoever he wants. Accept him for the lovely boy I'm sure he is.

And, between the ages of about 7 and 14, I wanted to be a boy. I loved it when people mistook me for a boy.

In fact, I really thought that I would turn into about when I grew up and was bitterly disappointed when I realised that couldn't happen.

Do I still want to be male? Absolutely not!

You know that not all people in society share the same beliefs and ideals as you? If that’s how you want to raise your child, that’s on you. but there are millions that wouldn’t raise their child like that.

I rebelled because my Mum wanted a girly girl and tried to foist all things pink on me.

I took up football, just to piss her off!

My son is 7. He's very placid. He's very kind. He likes the girls because they're 'kind' too. He doesn't like fighting. All his friends bar one boy are girls. He likes frozen and spidey and singing and rainbows. He wants to marry two of his girl friends and his boy friend. He's him. He's still a boy. He's still my boy. I don't care if he defies gender stereotypes. At 7 sometimes he identified as a guinea pig. He is a 7yr old child. I also have a daughter who conforms to just about every princess girl stereotype going despite my best efforts otherwise - but she is firey.

I'm well aware their are people who genuinely think there are "girl things" and "boy things". I just don't understand why. Perhaps if we had less parents telling their children they can't like xyz because they are for the other sex we'd have less children growing into teens thinking they are trans.

That I played with boys doesn’t make me a boy now.

Really, what do you want people to say?

Of course he’s a boy, he has a penis.

Lots of boys have female friends.

Loads of boys do girly things.

Why are you asking him if he’s a girl? He’s a boy that likes playing with girls rather than other boys. So what?

He's his own person with his own likes and dislikes
Don't ask him if he's a boy or girl! That will just confuse him
Let him be and enjoy him

He's five he'll act like a five year old , how do you think boys behave ?

Whao! My dgd's best friends are boys and they are lovely. What on earth is wrong with letting a child play as they please (as long they are safe and not bullying)?

Acting like a girl? How so?

I have a son who played with girls.
He wasn't violent and lots of the boys were.
He is quite articulate and preferred and related to girls throughout school. The girls were a bit more mature and they liked him.
Only now in 6th form he has made friends with a group of boys but now boys aren't so randomly violent.
I would just let him play with girls and not worry about it.

There are a couple of posters here who could do with this reminder.

Please stop over thinking things and asking leading questions. Please stop asking if he’s a boy or girl? He’s just using his imagination to play, he could equally pretend to be a horse or dog. It really doesn’t matter and is pretty meaningless.

@MadeOfAllWork 👏😄

I thought it was 2024

Not the 1950s

🥲

Just let him be.
Stop asking him if he's a girl. You are just reinforcing stereotypes and giving him the message that there's something incongruous about his preferences.
Enjoy him as he is.

What an interesting question op 🤔

No judgement whilst I judge my own child 🤔

Can you please define what is "girlish" and "boyish" with examples please?