Boy mums- keeps pulling at penis

[Liverpoollass2]

My 4 year old keeps pulling at his penis area. He doesn't nee the toilet and and doesn't have a UTI. When i ask him why he is doing it he says his penis keeps sticking to the skin on his upper leg? We've tried putting talc on him and recently tried new style of pants but he keeps doing it. Im getting so frustrated at him i ended up shouting at him in his face how disgusting it was and he needed to stop. Anyone have their son do this? What helped?

If this is real. First of all it's not disgusting. You are for shouting in his face though.

See a doctor?

We have seen a doctor for a suspected UTI and he didnt have one, i shouted as ive told him till im blue in the face to stop pulling at his penis and got frustrated, im human and I don't want this to start becoming a habit as itll be something other people/older kids will pick up and make fun of him for

You don't shout in a 4 year olds face for doing something that a majority of 4 year olds do.

Both mine did and they grew out of it

Crikey - total overreaction on your part there, poor lad!

Maybe try boxer shorts style underwear rather than tight briefs if you haven't already.

You distract kids when they are touching their privates, you don't say it's disgusting.
I'm taking this thread with a pinch of salt though.

It is developmentally normal for children of that age to fiddle/play with their genitals.

You should be clear it is something he does when he is on his own, not with other people around because it is 'private', like using the toilet.

You reinforce this social norm through gentle persistence, repeating the same message that is private activity.

Yes we all break sometimes as parents, especially when we have asked repeatedly, but you do not seem concerned about how you have behaved. He will now be fearful and shamed about this, which is not helpful.

Do not use talc on his genitals.

I just keep repeating the message that you only play with your penis in private.

Wtf, this is a perfectly normal thing to do. Your job is to teach him that it’s fine to do alone but not ok to do it around other people not to shame him. The only person behaving disgustingly is you.

Are his boxers or trousers tight? My sons hate the 'getting stuck' feeling too, so I buy quite big pants (not the skintight jersey boxers that men wear) and loose trousers.

Poor little lad!

The best way to stop anything becoming a habit with 4 year olds is to find it boring.

Calmly say: “If you need to do that, then please go to the bathroom or your bedroom as it’s private and we don’t want to see”

Bloody hell! My son rarely had it out of his hand at that age! It's normal. Don't shout at him and make him ashamed. You'd be far better off ignoring it entirely. Poor kid. That's really shit parenting.

If you shout at him over something so completely developmentally normal then I wonder what else you shout at him for? Along that line it could be a self comforting action.

Make sure he's comfortable and distract him, he'll grow out of it.

You are abusive. End of. You need to be told that - this is a 4 year old child. A child. A toddler. What you are showing him is not parenting or love or compassion or teaching but literally the worse kind of adult behaviour.

My son used to hump things in nursery in a nappy - he doesn’t do it anymore. He was very young. We gently stopped him and moved him elsewhere - nursery reassured me lots of children did it and it wasn’t sexual.

He then did often take his pants off - gently I reminded him airing his penis was fine but maybe not in the lounge or kitchen etc cups of tea etc and he stopped. This was when he potty trained aged 2/3

Yes he did tug it a lot - all little boys do. My GP used to laugh and say - all boys do it’s natural some find it soothing, sometimes the skin is sweaty and it sticks etc and of course it is right there. Just keep saying - wash your hands and in the bath etc it’s fine and normal but I don’t need to see it unless it hurts or is sore and please try not to when other people are around just like you don’t pick your nose or feet etc. He stopped pretty quickly, sometimes he will say to me (he’s 10) mummy is this ok and show me if the end is sore etc but I ask permission to touch and do it with gloves as he has had UTIs but I would never tell him he is disgusting or shout in his face etc that is just vile.

Think about what you are showing him.

If you’re not a troll, then please don’t shout at him again.

I’m a mum of boys - this is normal and you can try different types of pants and deal with it in private - and use distraction techniques.

WTF! If this is genuine then I feel very sorry for your 4 year old - if he is uncomfortable then shouting is going to make him feel bad about it and if he is just doing what all 4 year old boys do then distract him and make it a non issue.

I think it’s normal? My 7 yr old pulls on his quite a lot and so does my 2 yr old when in the shower. If I had something hanging there I’d probably play with it too.

It's totally normal, just ignore it as they grow out of it when they gain more social awareness. Other four year olds don't notice and by about 6/7 they have stopped doing it in front of others.

I do think at this age they can tend to hold on a bit too long for a wee as well due to not wanting to miss things. When they are grabbing their willy a lot it tends to mean this ime. Even though they can hold on a lot longer, if they were to go at that time they would still do a wee.

Whilst I disagree with shouting at him I do understand why you want to stop this behaviour.

My DS has asd and is often physically uncomfortable and his genitals are particularly problematic. We obviously tried to remove the cause, bought so many diffent pants and creams and powders but he's now 14 and has still never found something comfortable. He spends as much time as possible in his oodie, I suspect with nothing underneath.

The only thing you can do is tell them they must rearrange themselves in private. Be persistent. Call it every single time. Mine though he got away with it when you weren't looking, we kept telling him but obviously got nowhere until the school had a complaint of sexual harassment from a girl saying he was wanking under the table whilst speaking to her. This resulted in a formal investigation, I think only the ASD diagnosis stopped it being taken further.

I'm writing this to help balance the judgement on the thread, whilst you are certainly wrong to act as you did I think your concern in his behaviour shouldn't be minimised. Particularly in the current climate when acts are easily misconstrued, magnified and everyone and their dog will jump in to condemn.

You totally overreacted!

It’s completely behaviour and half the time they don’t even know they’re doing it. If medical conditions have been ruled out then just let him be.

Your poor son ☹️

Oh dear good. Get some parenting lessons. Poor boy. You are traumatising him. If he develops some weird arse penis related kink or penis aversion or shame driven weirdness as an adult you'll know why.